|Reviews for Undying|
| mariosonic chapter 4 . 11/2/2008
Well...that was certainly...interesting lol.
Though there was a few mistakes (again with Word being a meanie) but it was well described and detailed. :D
YEAH! Happy Daylight Savings indeed!
| Walkazo chapter 4 . 11/2/2008
Ooh, very interesting. I especially liked the evil laboratory scene, since I'm a psycho (and Toadsworth's reaction was funny).
Also, I can really identify with Peach when she was thinking about how she just proposed the idea while her dad did all the work: I feel like that's all I do too sometimes...
| HockeyFreak chapter 4 . 11/2/2008
Very creepy...Love how you added in some gore and death. Also, in the first half of the chapter, I love the style you start writing in. It seems to reflect how out of it Peach feels, and how she would go through her days on auto pilot after the accident.
PLEASE keep posting!
| Rock Raider chapter 4 . 11/2/2008
...A toad & Goomba are... dead?
| LUKBY chapter 3 . 11/1/2008
the chapter 4 doesnt exist XD
| DMan51 chapter 3 . 10/28/2008
Good chapter, I kind of expected that Bowser got injured by Peach, the Magikoopas are definitely evidence why every one was trying to calm her down. "Keep up the goodwork"
| mariosonic chapter 3 . 10/14/2008
Somehow I have the feeling Peach is turning into the Hulk...an evil Hulk.
Scratch that, what comes to mind each time she transforms (at least in my messed up, sleep deprived head) is a evil anthropomorphic wolf hulk hybrid wearing a ripped pink dress.
And somehow she can't die because of it!
Hide the children! XD
I know I'm horribly wrong but where's the harm in guessing eh?
Good chapter, and good thought processes with Peach, though sometimes they seemed a little forced. Maybe that's just me though being overly picky lol.
There were some mistakes here and there, probably from the program you were using correcting it with the wrong word/meaning.
Though we can't always spot horrible typos (they are a plague that needs to die a horribly painful death).
Can't wait for more! :D
(Also, if you want to know...I updated Contemplating Compatibility)
| ZADRookie chapter 3 . 10/14/2008
Wow! Nice chapter! Peach was going to shiftchange again but the magikoopas stopped her.
Oh, the thrill... and suspense! KEEP IT UP! Cheers!
| ebtwisty9 chapter 3 . 10/14/2008
I LOVE how you put in all these details from the marioverse...and I grinned like a buffon when Bowser and Peach had that little "I love you" "I know" exchange. hehee Mika you're such a sweety.
I love this chapter! It took me a little to get into it, but once I remembered how crazy intruiging and mysterious this story is, I was having so much fun. What a fun chapter...loved the character development, the party, the details...everything! AH! so much fun.
Here's to another early update!
| Rock Raider chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Until then, Peach, I think it is time you launched your investigation of the thing that's effected you. I think Peach is infected with this disease that is slowly turning her into a monster, or perhaps a koopa. Maybe the lab did DNA experiments with koopas, & the koopa DNA bonded with Peach's DNA. Maybe a side-effect is that Peach becomes occasionally plagued with these headaches, & when she loses consciousness, becomes a bloodthirsty creature. Maybe SHE attacked Bowser & put Skyri in the informary (I hope Skyri isn't dead :( ). Perhaps the investigation could take her back to the lab... granted it's still standing. In the meantime, I guess Peach can keep Bowser company. Perhaps once she finds out, he can help her through it, granted she's not too mad at him for keeping the secret from her. Hope she can be cured of this thing before i'ts too late. Well, anyway, update soon.
| HockeyFreak chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Yay, a sort-of date! It was kind of ruined by the fact that Peach turned into the Hulk for a minute, but that's okay, cuz the rest of the awsomeness made up for it.
Post again soon! I can't wait to find out what the secret is!
| Walkazo chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Good chapter. I espeically liked the party; I was worried something bad would happen like with the tennis match, so I was so glad when it went off without a hitch :)
Ludwig's dance experience was exactly the same as mine when I had to go to a crazy party last year! The part about Kammy and Kamek trying to dance but having no clue was really funny (and also very similar to what I went through), and I can totally picture Peach's face when everyone was just jumping around XD
| HitmanPAC chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Great chapter! You're keeping the suspense on what happened to Peach well maintained - you're giving us stuff, but we still don't really know anything, and that's a good thing. It's making me so curious! Anyway, another great chapter. I look forward to the next one!
| Ninjamuffin13 chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Meat, shaped like popcorn... with butter.
That sounds both horrifying and insanely hard to make. (meat cubes, on the other hand...)
A little rushed-looking in a few places, but not so much on the whole.
Also, I note the actual use of Shy Girls now. As nurses. Not surprising, as no one likes a male nurse.
Arcade hallway of infinity! Like the never-ending staircase of death from Super Mario 64. I always wondered why they never cast a loop like that in a place that would cause Mario to starve or drown or some such thing. Eh, besides keeping the series alive, I mean... Must take tons of magic to keep up.
Getting home will most likely be a huge problem. I doubt Bowser's gonna be letting her out of his sight in the foreseeable future. Though, really, a Darkland doctor should be just as good as a Mushroom doctor, since I doubt word of her 'condition' has traveled far beyond the royals and their retainers. Plus few darklanders would have the gall to lie to the Princess Peach.
Course, I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't one of those 'it's all a dream' deals, what with her slipping back in chapter one.
Or, maybe, everything's real, but she's completely wrong in her suspicions and something else is going on. Whatatwist!
Oh and hey, just noticed, We got Peach's first documented transformation. And she can breath fire. AND SHOOT LASERS!
Or maybe not that last bit.
It's weird not reading Ludwig with a German accent. Still heard it in me head, though.
And... That's all for now.
P.S. Ever notice all the sweets Bowser seems to eat? He must have a killer exercise regime to work all that off.
| DMan51 chapter 2 . 10/10/2008
Sorry I took so long to review, the direction the story is going is pretty amazing I caught the easter eggs of Cloud Strife, but didn't know about DMC though. Anyway I wander if Peach is developing a darkside? Keep up the writing.