|Reviews for Traitor|
| Yukihikari-chan chapter 2 . 5/6/2012
Please continue! I wanna see how this plays out!
| SharperImage chapter 2 . 9/14/2008
Ah, so Vaan has gotten in the castle before now eh?
I'm still rather confuzed as how this will play out though.
Why was it a parading celebration. Wouldn't everyone be locked deep and far away with the news of their countries conquest with the Empires war generals knocking on Dalmasca's door?
It's not bad writing, But Where's the rest of the story? Where's the external conflict, aside from a grumpy guard?
It's easy to tell he's in shock, maybe it's how Vaan is reading the world at the moment. but i'm depending on you to show me what the cruel reality is too, aside from just his sole troubles.
WHo would bring Reks back? How would they get him lest the Empire was there. I don't really understand how this is working...I still give out hope and stregth, and Please continue to write.
| SharperImage chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
As much as I wish to say I enjoyed your chapter, I must say, you didn't seem to stick to the story with as much accuracy as could have been.
Dialouge changes, and Bausch is spelt Basch.
Look up the scene on Youtube, it's far easier to make sure your following the game, and this really didn't do much as I thought It should have.
I know all what you have said just from the game, you must put in more of Rek's thoughts, explain things through his view a bit more.
This was quite plain, maybe the next chapter will be better?