|Reviews for At The Edge Of Heaven|
| Mr DCWood chapter 4 . 3/15/2010
Crackng little story so far. Only learned of Queen of Swords a few months. Got hold of the series watched it and loved it.
Here, you display a faithful understanding of the characters and recreate the character depth and interaction that made the show so wonderful. Isabelle is an interesting new character but one I feel hasn't been fully explored yet. I hope she as secrets of her own to make her truly belong.
I hope you continue with this story. I'd love to see it finished.
| lolita chapter 4 . 11/24/2009
more more mroe ?
| LBF chapter 4 . 5/7/2009
Wonderful story. Loved the Queen of Swords and hated to see it cancelled.
| Parappapa chapter 4 . 10/18/2008
Read both installments of your storyline. I really like the idea of a character falling in love with Montoya and how that could mess up with all the "good guys" around the show, especially Helm since this is his sister falling in love. Quite an interesting premise and relationship triangle you set up for them! A few scenes were quite funny (Helm scolding his sister, for one) and others were great dramatic insights (such as the scene at the dance party, inside Isabelle's thoughts).
I must admit though that you should watch for too many Mary-Sue characteristics in your original character (i.e. traumatic past, sheer beauty, family ties to the cute guy of the series, the fact that everyone loves her, numerous eye and hair color descriptions, the premise that she may turn Montoya into a good man...). I don't want to sound super harsh here, but having read fanfic for so many years, I can tell you that authors creating "perfect characters" has been done many, many times. I guess we will see what drama will happen next in your coming chapters. I am curious what will happen with Montoya, and what's his secret plan. Keep it up!
| Sprite3 chapter 4 . 10/4/2008
Hmm, I am perplexed at this point of the story now. Isabelle is definitely your main character, yet I feel like she is not taking the full place she should be taking as the hero of your story.
It's as if at this point, she was still a stranger to me, despite all the descriptions of her past behavior, how she was raised by her father, and her social life. I remember reading something about "informed attributes", i.e. the narrator is describing in great lengths how a character is, while in fact we are not shown with actions or thoughts that they are truly like this, we have no proof of these allegations (except for the one fact that Isabelle not being troubled by a horse eating her hat...).
I believe your story at this point could use some action or adventure, either physical or emotional, or even both. I see you categorized it as drama, yet so far I have seen no event propelling the alleged drama into any direction, or I haven't seen the characters evolve from state A to state B, whatever the reasons. I still feel we are in the introductory stage of your story, as if you had not really decided yet where all of this was going.
One way to easily solve this is to introduce conflict between characters, or produce conflict with a character facing a certain event, and all of this in a more direct manner. An easy one for you is of course Helm and Montoya, but this specific conflict does not involve Isabelle personally. I see tons and tons of other potential conflicts that could arise in your plot: people not liking Isabelle teaching the peasant women, Don Nazario's racism towards stangers could confront the Helms more directly, or even take action towards getting rid of them, Montoya or RObert Helm could do something utterly shocking that would shake Isabelle's beliefs about either of them, or evenb both :), bring the Queen of Swords and have Isabelle hate her for any type of reason, anything!
You should really start exploring the intricate relationships of the characters that would evolve from Isabelle being stuck in the middle of any of these situations. After all, she is your hero, you have to make her shine above all others!
| Sprite3 chapter 3 . 10/4/2008
I must admit I am a little puzzled by Don Nazario and his concern about foreigners. He just seems to come out of the blue with his complaint, and for now I don't see how it is fitting in your plot. I am guessing he will do something about Helm and Isabelle later on!
| Sprite3 chapter 2 . 10/4/2008
I totally laughed out loud at Helm's reprimand, saying Isabelle looked like Corporal Santos. ahah! That was a funny one. And I laughed again when Isabelle said "but what exactly do you expect me to do when I encounter him? Run away screaming?” lol
| Sprite3 chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
tututututut "he had made a point of cultivating the good opinion of Doctor Helm’s sister for his own purposes." ahah so he has plan, dammit. At least he is surprised to enjoy Isabelle's presence more than he anticipated. I just really wonder what his plan really is, it should be linked somehow to capturing the Queen, but she has seemed rather absent for now from your first part and this chapter :)
Mere technicalities: Montoya would not call Isabelle "Doña" as she is not married to a Don and doesn't have any titles. He would merely refer to her as Señorita, as you went on using later on in the conversation.
| darkangeldommy chapter 4 . 10/1/2008
I love your story I really like Isabelle's charactere I hope she and Montoya get togheter cuz he needs some stability and love and I just like him lol keep up the awesome work please update soon
| El Gringo Loco chapter 4 . 9/30/2008
A nice quiet chapter about what seems a peaceful evening. Still, putting Isabella and Tessa together for a few days setd the stage for what could be some rather interesting developments. I look forward to reading more.
| El Gringo Loco chapter 3 . 9/26/2008
Ch 1-3 Interesting and intriguing. I'm glad to read more of Isabella's adventures in Alta California.
| darkangeldommy chapter 2 . 9/16/2008
oh I like this story Montoya has someone to love in a way keep up the great work please update soon XD -