Reviews for Storm Clouds Gathering
TadPole11 chapter 9 . 6/22/2014
I will review all chapters of this story, and the prequel to this story, later. I just had to come in and say something. I voted for this story to be the one that you complete. :) My issue is, I do think your OC Phoebe is a bit Mary Sue-ish. Give her some negative qualities, please. Everyone has them. What are hers? And it's not to late, in this verse they haven't known each other that long. Let Phoebe's not so pleasant side, come out and play.
Okay. About Phoebe and Nathan and Phoebe/Peter. I don't like insta romances usually, unless the story is told and the characters written in such a way, that I believe it. The thing is, you had 27 chapters in the first story, and ten chapters in this one, to develop their romance. And yet...it really hasn't developed. You can tell me as a reader, that Phoebe and Peter have a "connection" until the cows come home, but that doesn't make me believe it. I think there is a reason why we use the term "boyFRIEND" and girlfriend". For any great relationship, fiction or real, there has to first be a solid connection based on friendship. Peter and Phoebe just don't have that. They have never even really had one significant "getting to know you" conversation. Oddly enough, you took the time to build a friendship with Nathan and Phoebe, and they are NOT the couple. That's why, I'll admit it, a part of me is actually kind of rooting for Phoebe and Nathan. Perhaps the "connection" between Peter and Phoebe isn't going to be that they end up together, but rather, that Peter being in her dreams is what led her to Nathan. I realize your story does not seem to be going in that direction, and that's fine. You are in control, not me. I am just telling you what I sense from what you are writing. I feel nothing when Peter and Phoebe moon over each other. There is nothing there for me, because nothing's been built. did a little *squee* though, at the turn of the story where Heidi is jealous of Nathan and Phoebe. I did a bigger squee when Nathan kissed her. I can't help it. I just feel something for them that I don't for Peter and Phoebe. There's Heidi to consider, but honestly, I feel she could be killed off in this story PDQ. It would make sense, and besides...having a death that affects the main characters is always a great game changer. There's also Peter to consider. Nathan would never steal a woman from Peter. And I love my Petrelli brothers and don't want to mess with that. BUT perhaps, in their journey, Peter and Phoebe realize they aren't meant for each other in THAT way. It could happen in this story, it could happen in your next story if you wanted to do one. I know Heroes is long gone, and it doesn't look like anyone other than HRG will be back for Heroes Reborn. Still, rewatching old episodes could rewet your appetite to continue Phoebe's saga. I really do think she belongs with Nathan, JMHO.
DLHKM chapter 3 . 3/23/2009
Awesome
xXKaira-HimeXx chapter 10 . 2/14/2009
Awesome story and chapter! Please update soon!
chewysun chapter 1 . 12/11/2008
Oh my goodness, I totally had a fangirl moment when I saw you had a sequel. Just decided to comment here first :)
Shakespeare's Lemonade chapter 10 . 10/27/2008
Oh! I'm so happy. Phoebe is safe and Nathan and Heidi are together again, wohoo! But the ending was very suspesful and I wish you wouldn't do that to me... oh well, you really must update soon...

Lynn
HeroesBonesSNPB chapter 10 . 10/26/2008
aw. so pretty! :D:) lol at nathan! :D
superlc529 chapter 10 . 10/25/2008
Nice update! I'm glad Heidi and Nathan are back together and all the 'HEROES' are back under one roof. I can't wait to see what happens next! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! :) :)
BetterThanReality chapter 10 . 10/25/2008
yay. :)

i was wondering when this would be up.

Hiro makes me smile. i love the whole saying peoples full names thing :)

update soon :D
GreenLeoFiend chapter 10 . 10/25/2008
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this…” So you are throwing in the Star Wars references as well? I believe Volume 3 is definitely the year of the Star Wars, I will elaberate later. Another great chapter. I was concerned to about Hiro and Claire, and even Meredith but perhaps they were not additional targets after all, or are they? You know I was giving you the evil eye during that little conversation between Peter and Nathan. LOL What are you going to do Nathan this time? Nathan and Heidi, aww, making up. Hiro and Sasha so you as well. But what are those "villains" up to? I am sure I will soon find out. Great job.
PF chapter 9 . 10/17/2008
Are you going to write #10?

I really like it, especially the relation b/t Nathan and Heidi and how she made him taker her along.
Shakespeare's Lemonade chapter 9 . 10/13/2008
Only did what you would have done, indeed! I loved this chapter best of all! Especially Noah, we need more of him!

Lynn
HeroesBonesSNPB chapter 9 . 10/10/2008
LOL funny! these are awesome chapters! :D :) love the nathan/pheobe interaction! can we have some more nathan/claire moments soon? :)
superlc529 chapter 9 . 10/10/2008
Amazing! I wonder though if Hiro and Claire are going to get worried about where Phoebe went... maybe Nathan could fly back there to tell them? ;) :) I can't wait to see where this goes next! GREAT JOB! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! :)
Samcro1024 chapter 9 . 10/10/2008
Still a little confused, but you warned us! lol I'm glad Phoebe and Peter are together again.

Hopefully that Will guy DOESN'T want anything from Claire or Hiro.

UD soon!
GreenLeoFiend chapter 9 . 10/10/2008
First up the comments! “I’ll be perfectly fine. No one has seen a future where I get killed by this-this danger that’s threatening Phoebe.” Heh. "Put that one on the list of ‘weirdest ideas generated by a Petrelli…" Like shooting my brother... “That man who attacked me… I don’t think he was after them. Peter needs me now.” But then why did he say you were too close to the house?

That said, great chapter! Very suspenseful and great narrative as always. Looking forward to more soon.
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