Reviews for A Cause
Zuvios Gemini chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I am such a huge fan of these stories. I'm sad you haven't continued this. Please tell me you'll finish this at some point.
I-am-a-slash-addict chapter 3 . 9/10/2010
Wow, this was both hot and a warm fluffy gooey goodness and its Riddick and Johns... LOL! Good chapter. ;-)
SJ chapter 4 . 8/4/2010
hello (: wow, i've spent the better part of my afternoon reading both 'A Cause' and 'A Reason' - and they're phenomenal pieces. As a huge fan of Pitch Black, the relationship between Johns and Riddick truly intrigued me. In your fics you've managed to get inside their heads to the extent that it is completely believable to be a part of their personas that we see in the movie. You haven't updated this in a really long time... And I would really like to see this finished as I have enjoyed it very much! I do hope you haven't abandoned it and will eventually post the rest, it would be greatly received! Amazing job.
NefariousImp chapter 4 . 9/19/2009
A Reason and A Cause are both great, THIS IS NOT A FLAME! Just saying that towards the last chapter of A Cause I was starting to get tired of all the constant sex, not that it isnt hot...definitly was, but too much of a good thing kinda thing...You've given this Porn a on with the plot! Seriously...I love the Combo of Johns Riddick and Jack (not in a sexual way of course she is only 12) I'd love to see more of the story please update and you still have (at least) one position left...69. UPDATE!
The Group of One chapter 4 . 2/5/2009
OH man, I love this. Read the first one too.

Cant wait for the update!
Saismaat chapter 4 . 10/19/2008
[quote] Can't hide my smile when Riddick tells Jack it's naptime. Damn, that girl is tenacious. Thought I was bad. Got nothing on her. [/quote]

nice first line! Interesting bit of recognition Johns has there –both tenacious, both focused on Riddick. Heh.

[quote] I look up, I gotta see him, his eyes are burnin' at me. Silver, gone molten, glowin' down at em. Most beautiful fuckin' thing I've ever seen. Mouth open, skin flushed, panting. All for me. All cause I got his dick in my mouth.

He's watchin' me, as I lick him and it's hot. He knows it's me, suckin' him. No pretending to be someone else. Lookin' me right in the eyes, and that's sayin' something. He ain't so good at eye contact, but right now, he sees me. Sees us. [/quote]

Nice bit of ambiguity there – “all ‘cause I got his dick in my mouth” – which could be all sorts of people – vs. “No pretending to be someone else.”

[quote] I wanna taste him, all of him, coating my tongue. [/quote]

Another way Johns is different from me – I infinitely prefer it to not touch my taste receptors.

[quote] Light going to the dark. Fuckin' beautiful. [/quote]

Nice bit of meta. Not sure either of them get to be light though.

[quote] I hear myself whisper, but I don't know what I'm saying. Probably not good, I hope I don't pledge my undyin' love to him, might feel it, but I ain't willing to risk sayin' it.


aw – weirdly sweet and poignant.

You’ve done a smart job of giving them time to explore this, with the transit time. Nicely done!
Saismaat chapter 3 . 9/26/2008
Nicely done. You've planted some good hints . . .
Saismaat chapter 2 . 9/26/2008
Nicely done.
Saismaat chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
[quote] A noise woke me up and my first thought was not again. Check Riddick, see if he's still where I left him. Not in chains, but by my side. He's gone and I'm up. Clock him runnin' across the room, naked as the day his fine ass was born.[/quote]

Great opening! I like the clip clop rhythm of it. Can feel the adrenaline of it, the emotional shift. Good fun. Also a great way of reintroducing the characters and their new dynamic.

[quote] Her lanky body fits in my arms, against my own, all curled up. Don't think about it, just let my body lead, surround 'er with myself. She just...curls inta me, an' I get that weird flappy feelin' an' it makes me look up for Johns.[/quote]

I like that a whole lot; him enveloping her. My eyes did stumble over “against my own.” I wanted “my own” to be “arms” based on proximity to the antecedent, but I’m guessing it was “body.”

[quote] He reads me, an' I expect stubborn, expect a glare back, but he just blinks an' kinda frowns, looks at the pillow insteada me, then 'e closes 'is eyes an' somethin' in 'is face gets me.[/quote]

I really like “expect stubborn.”

[quote] Jack's breathin' even. That the nasties an' whatever other demons she's got ain't troublin' 'er, not in my arms, not on my fuckin' watch.[/quote]

very nice!

[quote] While he sleeps, holdin' Jack, I watch. Their breath synced, she fits so snug against him, like she's a part of him. It hurts, kinda, seein' that. Knowin' I've never been that close to anyone, never held anyone like that, never had the chance to hold like that.

I wanna hold Riddick like that. Tucked safe into my body, but that's just crazy shit. You don't hold a murderer tight and sigh. You don't love 'im, wanna spend your life, however much of it you have left, with him.

Men don't love other men.

Sane people don't love Richard B. Riddick.[/quote]

Man! You packed a whole lot in there, sister. The strange siblingesque thing Riddick and Jack fell into. Johns resentment. And ending with what is probably a very good bit of insight.

[quote] Jack wiggles in between us, careful to stay clear of our lower halves and sets a tray on her lap. Riddick and I move the same time, up on our elbows, mirroring each other and lean in to see what she got.[/quote]

Good job of setting a scene!

The last three paragraphs seemed a little disconnected from the conversation. Though I did really like the last line. “For now, best ta hang on to what comfort we got, cuz I'm sure Johns hasn't forgot what happened in that system, an' I know he knows I ain't forgot either.” And neither have I. I’ll be real interested in how they settle that!

Well done.