|Reviews for Stopping the Storm|
| Smozzick chapter 12 . 8/14/2013
Awesome plot with that children's game idea. Didn't see it coming at all.
| kaori and yoshi chapter 15 . 6/19/2013
that was awesome!
| Nostalgic Beauty chapter 15 . 3/31/2013
I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I really enjoyed your story, even if the rapid switches between POVs sometimes gave me whiplash. ;)
| Tavanar chapter 10 . 3/1/2013
That! That right there, was absolutely bloomin' fantastic. Love the story so far and will undoubtedly enjoy the rest too.
| Erisah Mae chapter 15 . 1/15/2013
I liked the layers in this story. I figured out that you were probably going to do something mildly sinister with the handclapping game before it happened, (chekov's gun) but the result was pretty cool. The twist with the Recruiter was interesting too. Also really enjoyed your portrayal of Iruka, especially the bit at the end where he yells at Tsunade for letting Ibiki anywhere near children :P
| Rasei chapter 15 . 7/13/2012
I reread this story again, and still found it really enjoyable. I really like.
| Seventeenth Shenanigan chapter 15 . 5/27/2012
i really like the idea here! another lovely story!
| Shadow Owner chapter 15 . 5/14/2012
Congrats for completing this fic! The in-class demonstration you had Iruka undergo was memorable, particularly since he was the most emotionally and physically hurt one in the ordeal. Of all people, I'd also expect Iruka to be the most unsuspecting of children, hence it made sense that though he'd seen the plan being practised, he'd never thought to dwell on it. If Shikamaru had been in that position, for example, I'd certainly have expected him to note the odd behaviour and connected the dots sooner, perhaps even lie in wait for them. It was impressive that this plot was conjured!
Transitions weren't always smooth, and there were times when it jumped from characters and scenes (perhaps segment breaks might have been used); sometimes these were confusing and on hindsight, made me question if they were necessary (e.g. seeing things from Mouse's perspective and then having her let out, having the third member of the dubious alliance involved in the first place, then murdered and not discovered). To be fair, though, the opening was enticing.
The summary hinted that the children might have something to do with the affair, and you did drop hints (special emphasis on the home visit and park visit, for example), yet though the culprit was always suspicious to me, the manner of entry was unconventional, and surprised me.
There were a couple of loose ends, though, like Iruka's suspicious duo which I don't recall him eventually making a report on; perhaps even what Chouji and Shikamaru ended up doing during the fights since they were part of the discussion.
| Crystal M. Key chapter 15 . 4/21/2012
This was a really interesting story, thanks! I love reading Iruka. Favorite quotes:
The Chunin's jaw clenched lightly, his dark eyes flashing at the statement. A traitor was the worst kind of enemy – and the kind that most angered any Konoha shinobi. "It is believed that this traitor intends to somehow provide an enemy with entrance to Konoha. Unfortunately, our agent passed away before being able to impart any specifics regarding the matter. And despite ongoing investigation, no further information has come to light. In other words, Umino-san, that threat is still at large."
The anger she expected, the careful thought did not surprise her. The Chunin's words, however, were another story. "There are one or two individuals that I've been keeping an eye on, but… I don't think either of them are anywhere near the point of being ready to act out, much less actually betray Ko-"
"Umino, what the hell are you talking about?" Tsunade interrupted, somewhat confused and not at all happy about it.
The Chunin blinked in surprise. "Um, I was trying to see if any of the people I'm aware of could be involved. I thought that that was why you called me. Considering my last mission, I assumed…" The man trailed off, looking at his leader in confusion before flushing slightly and murmuring "A-s-s-u-m-e makes an ass out of you and me."
Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "Explain, Umino. Now. What last mission, and how is it relevant to this situation?"
The man dropped his eyes, suddenly finding his feet to be fascinating. His blush intensified as he spoke. "Well, it's just… I'm Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama. I'm… a teacher of children, a desk worker. I've been those things for so long, most people don't think of me as a shinobi. Most of my comrades would laugh if anyone suggested sending me on any kind of mission. And because of that – because they think of me as harmless – a lot of people talk around me as if I were a civilian. They say things that they normally wouldn't say around a shinobi, because to them, I'm not. I'm just… Iruka."
He fidgeted a little under the Hokage's intense focus, but the Chunin took a deep breath and continued. "A few years back, I commented on that to Sandaime-sama – and he decided to use that. He um, he had me work with Morino-san on improving my ability to read people, and my last mission was to just… pay attention, keep my eyes open. It was hoped that I would be able to report potential problems before they became actual problems. And when I never received cancellation orders…" The Chunin shrugged almost helplessly.
By now Tsunade was fighting not to stare – and remembering a number of times when she saw someone in town apparently griping to Iruka, only to stop when they caught sight of another shinobi. After a small eternity of silence, the Hokage finally spoke again. "Actually, I had intended to inform you of the situation so you would be prepared in case something happens and we need to evacuate during school hours. But I want a report on those two people you mentioned by morning." And Iruka accepted that statement as the dismissal it was.
After he left, Tsunade pulled the cord that called her assistant into the room. "Shizune, get me the latest mission files on Umino." She wanted to see exactly what the man meant – and whether the 'mission' had had any success thus far.
Beyond the first page of the neat, bulleted script common to ANBU lay eight pages of swift, sloppy writing. 'Medics' he thought with a familiar exhaustion. 'Do they take a course in bad handwriting? I thought all reports had to be legible…' But he shook off the irrelevant tangent, focusing instead on the contents of the writing.
Ibiki paused, seeming to gather his thoughts before he spoke. "Umino has nothing distinctive about him, correct?"
Tsunade nodded once. "That's right. He has no powerful chakra, no particularly impressive jutsu, and no genius talent. His basic skills are well practiced – almost textbook-perfect execution – but the man will never be Jounin level. And as for his mission files… there were a few odd occurrences early on, but nothing particularly noteworthy."
Ibiki nodded, seeming to expect the answer. He probably did, as he did not hesitate with his next comment. "Exactly. And that is all that most people ever realize. I am not too proud to admit that it took me some time to see what the Sandaime saw in this… unimpressive little sensei. And I still do not understand it. If you wish to try…" The scarred man gestured to the box on the floor, waiting for the Hokage's nod before picking it up, setting it on the desk and continuing.
"Hokage-sama, Umino is not unusual for what happens around him." A slight pause as the man made certain his leader was looking him in the eye. "He is extraordinary for what does not. I have taken the liberty of flagging a few of these files as an example of what to look for in regards to Umino's 'mission'. If you need more, I have members of the clerical staff gathering the file numbers of the reports relevant to your search. They will not be flagged, however. I am afraid that my staff simply does not have the time necessary."
Sensing that the man had finished what he had come to say, Tsunade politely thanked and then dismissed him. Ibiki hesitated in the doorway, glancing back as if he had something else to say. "Anything else, Morino?" Tsunade asked.
"Read carefully, Hokage-sama." the interrogation expert advised. "Much like the man himself, Umino's influence can be easily overlooked." And the Jounin took his leave from one thoughtful Hokage and one very confused assistant.
Shikamaru briefly considered sitting up and glaring at the other teenagers around him, but decided that it wasn't worth the effort. 'Besides' he thought pragmatically, 'if they're not phased by Neji and Shino's combined death glare, I seriously doubt that adding mine will make much difference.'
Iruka darted through the streets, quickly picking up a trail of fellow shinobi as if the others somehow realized he knew something that they didn't. And they were right. He had blurted out a quick explanation to Izumo, but the other Chunin hadn't had a way to broadcast the message yet. The best he could do was set it to repeat the code for 'evacuate' more often than the one for 'walls breached'.
'They would have had to use civilian children.' Iruka thought, clamping down on his instinctive panic. 'If little Aki-kun could spot the 'games' as a chakra building exercise, then there is no way that shinobi parents would miss it. I can't believe that I missed it! …Doesn't matter now. What matters is that we were all expecting them to come from the outside, so most of us will be heading for the walls, to keep them out of Konoha. But they're already in Konoha. They bypassed the walls altogether. They'll be coming from the civilian sectors. …They're already among the most vulnerable of our people. And if they did use civilians… the kids will be exhausted, chakra depleted. They won't even be able to run. So the bastards have human shields the moment they get here. Damn it, this is… this is a nightmare.'
Throughout Konoha, the Rock's army was quickly beaten back, many killed and many more fleeing from the unnatural strength that seemed to have possessed the Leaf shinobi. In the field, Konoha shinobi were fast and strong and skilled. In their home, they seemed inhuman, unstoppable.
Their anger made them faster, stronger, meaner. More than one enemy never saw the blow that killed them, and even those who had fought mere Genin were forced to wonder what it was that made these children so powerful.
Even those among the Rock who had allied themselves with Konoha were stunned at the overwhelming force that the Leaf brought out in its' people.
They could never have understood, even if they had known of Konoha's will of fire. But since they didn't know, the Rock forces were left broken, confused and terrified as they fled.
In their wake, a vicious cheer went up from the Leaf shinobi – at least, from the ones who weren't chasing their enemy down as they ran.
Iruka opened his eyes slowly as he heard the brisk knock on the door to his room. The Chunin sat up in bed, wincing slightly as his leg – broken in three places and splinted tightly – protested the movement. He sat up straighter, eyes widening slightly as the Hokage stepped into his hospital room, followed closely by her assistant and Morino, Ibiki.
"Um, can I… help you?" he asked, confusion evident in his face and voice. He only became even more confused as he noticed the expressions on the three visitor's faces. Tsunade was grinning – always a scary thing, part of him noted – Shizune was apparently trying not to grin, and Ibiki… looked slightly pained.
Tsunade was the one who answered his question, a distinctly mischievous light in her eyes. "I hope so, Umino. You know the civilian kids that let the Rock into Konoha?"
Iruka's eyes flashed with anger, his fists clenching tightly. It had only been two days ago that he had been snatching children away from the Rock's forces, and his fury at the other Village for using children in such a way had yet to cool. "Yes, ma'am." he forced out.
"Well, we'd like for you to come and try questioning them – since we can't seem to get anything out of them."
Ibiki twitched slightly, almost mumbling "They won't stop crying."
Iruka agreed easily enough, but then he froze as the meaning behind those two statements actually registered. He turned wide eyes to the three in front of him – and then he exploded. "You sent /Ibiki-san/ to question /children/? What is /WRONG/ with you people?"
Ibiki twitched again, but Iruka didn't notice. The teacher was too busy reaching for his crutches and scrambling out of bed. Forget the leg, those kids needed him! 'If they weren't traumatized before,' he thought wildly, 'they probably are now!'
| Infinitechange chapter 15 . 3/14/2012
| librarycat9 chapter 15 . 9/9/2011
I love Iruka focused stories where he saves the day :D
| dgraymanfan 200 chapter 15 . 6/17/2011
I LOVE this story you did so well on it. XD
| BundleofContradictions chapter 15 . 11/16/2010
I feel bad for Ishiko. I hate it when kids are indoctrinated that way. Well, I guess all kids need to be indoc...taught, in one way or another, but towards a direct war plan? :(
Shikamaru & Co. did such a great job in this fic! I loved the Ino & Sakura bonding/medic scene, Iruka's proud realization that his stuents had grown into their own, and, especially, Asuma and Shikaku's shared grin in Tsunade's office. That's their boy! (I'm a huge Nara fan!) Everyone was in character throughout the story, and the plot was fun, engaging and suspenceful. The lack of Naruto himself made it *more* enjoyable, I think. (He tends to take up too much of the spotlight. Let the other ninja shine)!
And now Aya-chan can be in the same class as her brother!
| BundleofContradictions chapter 10 . 11/16/2010
Whoa, I was not expecting that! All girls around the world play hand-clapping games, right? I played them when I was a kid...How could anyone organize a traitor corps of *children*? This looks like a job for...A Ninja Academy Sensei! :D
You set up the hints to this part very, very well...Kudos!
| BundleofContradictions chapter 5 . 11/16/2010
I started reading this story on a recomendation from WhyIWrite, and so far I am really enjoying it. I love the plot threads: Bad guys planning an attack on Konoha, the ANBU quite literally going crazy, the Hokage trying to figure everything out, schoolkids with anger issues (I enjoy reading about schools and kids, an I think you're doing a good job of potraying them. Also, the Inuzuka are an awesome clan!), and Iruka-sensei in the middle of it all.
The only thing that bothers me are the abrupt scene changes. I'm in middle of a scene, I know the locations and the characters, and suddenly in the next paragraph I'm somewhere else with different characters, but I didn't notice right away because you don't use name identifiers or scene breaks. So I have to go back and re-read a part to figure out where scene 1 ended and scene 2 began. It's a bit annoying, and shifting between scenes so often in a single chapter feels a bit overused after a while...expanding a plot thread so that you only use two or so in one chapter, rather than switching scenes every paragraph or so, would make for a smoother reading experience, IMHO.
So, Iruka developed Naruto's patented "Therapy no Jutsu," huh? ;)
Thanks for the story!