|Reviews for Irritable Grizzly Adams|
| kcbookslove chapter 30 . 6/16
Update this fuck-awsome jewel of a stoey ASAP!
| susiereckart chapter 26 . 5/16
Though Kim new to the twilight world. Your perspective is wonderful. I have so enjoyed this story and can't seem to get enough of it. Thank you for the writing. I so wish there was more.
| chasinge chapter 30 . 5/10
This was such a lovely and original take on the story. I really enjoyed it. You brought them out of the fairytale added so much depth to the characters. It is evident that you poured an enormous amount of work into this creation. Thank you for writing and sharing. As a note to anyone hesitant to read an unfinished story, I would say that in this case it is absolutely worth it. :)
| FandomForAll chapter 30 . 5/10
I know that there’s very little chance of this being updated but I would absolutely LOVE anything else for this story to be posted. I’ve read this countless times and still laugh and cry along with Bella and Edward as they rediscover themselves. Truly phenomenal writing. X
| Persephone of Abydos chapter 30 . 4/10
I absolutely love this story. I really hope that one day you continue it!
| Mary chapter 30 . 3/21
I love the way you wrote this story, if it ended here it was still a good read or rather re-read in my case
| panther73110 chapter 2 . 3/21
Love this story and wished you would have finished as I would have love jake dog meeting the rest of the cullen family.
| Mary chapter 20 . 3/11
I liked this chapter most of all, it was an awesome reunion for these two, I love the way you make clear pictures out of words
| Mary chapter 5 . 3/8
This is a story I have read and reread I think it is one of the best out there, thank you for sharing it with us
| LaurelLeafSinger chapter 30 . 1/15
I recently discovered your story and have spent the last few days reading and enjoying it very much! I hope that you will one day return to complete it. Thanks for a great read. ;-)
| Catbiscuit chapter 9 . 1/6
"He was the spider to her human fly in that amber prison, and he had just as assuredly trapped Bella in the silken strands of his ridiculous attempt to preserve what he presumptuously thought to be her appropriate destiny."
That sentence has 39 words in it. Every single sentence is like that. It is waaaaaaaaay too long, and there are way too many adjectives. Reading these sentences is like chewing on a mouthful of tough beef jerky. It takes a lot of effort just to understand what the heck is being said. There's clearly good writing here but its hidden under too many descriptive words and flourishes. Sometimes less is more.
"He grasped Edward's chin between his thumb and forefinger in a patently fatherly gesture and raised the younger man's head up so he could look directly into his eyes."
"Carlisle grasped Edward's chin and raised his head up to look into his son's eyes."
29 words vs. 15 words
That sentence is half as short, and says just as much. "Between his thumb and forefinger" "patently fatherly gesture" "younger man's head" , these are just throwaway phrases that don't add any extra meaning to what you're trying to say. They're just clogging the way. I can't stand it. I know you've gotten lots of positive reviews, and I understand. You've made a nice story, you've allowed us internet readers the opportunity to read it, and you talk pretty. But if you want to be a better writer I think you need to be more streamlined. Less run on sentences and more actual story to tell. It's taken 9 chapters (1/3 of the whole story!) to introduce Bella, have her meet up with her professor, and go to a party. Not much is happening here.
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/2
Are we supposed to be impressed that bella drives a mustang? or whatever it was? Was that supposed to be "hot"? Seriously who the fuck cares what she drives? It doesn't make her more desirable. Edward can buy anything he fucking wants. Hes not impressed by money or showy shit either. So to brand drop like you just did?
Ya, not only was it totally unneeded, unwanted, pretentious, and annoying it also didn't ADD anything to the story.
I can also live without the way you tend to dress your words up. Some of that is fine. But clear and concise sometimes would be great. It would also make this a better read.
| Guest chapter 10 . 1/2
I feel like you taken bellas feelings for Edward to the EXTREME end of the spectrum. She's human she shouldn't feel the mate bond. And that has to be what's at work here cause any other human, in love or not is more than capable of being with another person besides the one they love.
I don't really care for this "broken" Bella. If a man child can break you by breaking up with you then you were never a real person to begin with.
| Guest chapter 9 . 1/2
Anyone else wondering why Edward is crying about not being able to die? Because we all KNOW that he can, he knows that he can.
If he really wanted to die he could make that happen, but he doesn't. He just wants to bitch and moan and get attention. At least that's the way I see it. Because if that was what he really wanted, he could make that happen.
| Just me chapter 19 . 11/20/2017
Who hoo you go girl. Don’t just let him crawl back in