Reviews for Saturday Night
rozardoll chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
Okay you know what? Sure. How old are you?

The smexy-supposed-to-be super hot sex scenes were rushed, and like you said, seek a little bit inexperienced. The rushing ruined the story, but it was good enough so it didn't suck really bad. Just try working on the rushing part.

PS: Sorry for my critiscm.
Kimberly chapter 1 . 9/28/2009
I enjoyed this story a lot. You should make a continuation for this one.
123456789 chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
so CUUTTE! i love them so MUCH! :))
M3lanch0ly chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
Kinda kawaii...W

Is this your first attempt at M RATED stories?
Baka Mamushi chapter 1 . 12/10/2008
This isn't one of my OMGTHEY'RESOAWESOMEILOVETHEMTHEY'RESOMYFAV! pairing. but they're in my top 20! it was a great story but...(yes i hate that but too. i never left a negative remark on a story before. then again i'm usually to lazy to comment on a story anyway..) it needed more detail. it was still great though! 4/5
RebeccasanFujiEijiLVR chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
ahh nice
ashd chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
Hi :) I think it's improvable. There are grammar mistakes etc and the content should be more detailed, the dialogues more interesting... Still, I think you're on a good way :) Keep it up! :D
ezyl chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
woof woof!

Ricci-chan, you're improving! Mind the grammar, though, dear. Want some help? I can beta...:D.

ezyl
iPurpleBerri chapter 1 . 9/30/2008
Congratulations on your first M-rated fic. XD Though I'm not really a fan of M-rated things, or actually, I'm not really a fan of yaoi. I prefer shounen-ai rather. That's why Lana-chan can't write M-rated fics. I can only go up to T-rated. XD

Anyways, don't forget to put periods at the end of sentences.

Like, “Akaya, if this keeps up you will be suspended from the team”, Yukimura said in a slow, firm voice

It should have a period in the ending. Even though it's after a dialogue.

Also, the comma should be inside the quotation marks. So its, “Akaya, if this keeps up you will be suspended from the team,”.

Anyways, the plot was well done. It wasn't really rushed... unlike my stories. Which are mostly rushed or something. DX In other words, the flow of the story was good. Yes. :DD
Hiroen Nnir chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
wow! this was interesting! I didn't think it would be AKaya who would make the first move I sort of hoped it would have been Bunta but it was still really good! hhaha

although I didn't really like the words you choose and the details could have gone smoother, this was none the less a really great fic! you got the point across and I can't wait to see what you come up with next! I hope its another M hahaha