|Reviews for With the Flip of a Coin|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/24/2012
Ritchie wasn't afraid of flying
| sorry chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
Once there was a young girl. She had a perfect life. She loved her
family, her friends and her pet dog. She got good grades and was on countless sports teams.
She was loved by everyone and absolutley nothing was wrong with her.
However, one night, she was walking home. She was walking through a
When her parents woke up the next day, she wasn't in her bed. They
went down to the cemetary where they found her dead body. The doctors found no source of death.
If you copy and paste this to 10 other story reveiws, the one you love
will kiss you and when you grow old enough, they will marry you and have many children.
If you don't within three days, you'll both die a painful death by the
hand of that girl.
| Sparks Diamond chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
Aww that was so sad! Amazing story! I love Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper and this was just very sad and touching!
| pls chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
gee- i can't believe u typed that review to my friend! she was really hurt you know...and she's not exactly got all her screws tightened properly, if you know what i mean. from now on, i'd appreciate it if u take more care when ur asking a person to do something.
that'd be really nice. thanks.
| FlitShadowflame chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
Minor point of correction - Ritchie Valens hated flying and was absolutely terrified by it.
| jafarjasmineforever2005 chapter 1 . 11/9/2008
| piewacket chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
This was an interesting psychological study. However, I think that you missed the intent of the crossover challenge. These two stories were already crossed, as it really was Allsup and Ritchie who had the coin toss.
| Virtuella chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
This is an interesting idea, but I found the way it was presented a bit "pedestrian". I'll try to explain why.
1. The introduction is too long. In fact I found myself thinking "This is an awfy long exposition", when I realized that I had already read halfway through the story. It is not until the fourth paragraph that the story really takes off, and then there's only another three-and-a-bit paragraphs to follow.
2. Many sentences are very long and/or carry an overload of information. For example: "Bob had long given up performing but he still wrote and produced songs for Frankie and occasionally he would join him on tour to produce his shows." Do we really need to know this?
3. This is the main problem I see: The story seems to be going round in circles. The readers knows from the beginning that Richie died in the plane crash and that Tommy had tossed a coin with him for the seat. Then we just watch Tommy agonize over it for the rest of the story, and there is no climax or further point of interest.
I think the story could be more interesting if it was told not in a linear, but in an analytical style. Something like this:
At the start, we see Tommy at the concert. He isn't agonizing yet, in fact all these years he has pushed the whole incident to the back of his mind and avoided thinking about it. Then, during the concert, someone in the audience accidentally drops a coin. It rolls in front of Tommy's feet and spins ... and spins ... and Tommy's head starts spinning, as the memories rush in. Then you could reveal gradually what had happenened, sandwiching scenes from the past and the present and not letting the reader know until the very end that the plane crashed. That way you would create some suspense. I would also leave out the character Bob, he doesn't seem to do much for the story.
There were a few formal mistakes like "throughly" instead of "thoroughly", but nothing too dramatic.
| JohnnyCadesChick chapter 1 . 9/18/2008
Oh my gosh, this is so awesome! I am SO glad I found this, last year, I saw the movie La Bamba and I became OBSESSED with Ritchie Valens. I still am :D and then I saw the Buddy Holly Story and I am anticipating the movie about the Big Bopper coming out on the Day the Music Died next year. This was really good, I never thought about someone making something like this! Please, continue!