|Reviews for Enchanted Natalie|
| Nugiha chapter 12 . 4/14/2011
Nice story, Could you read and review my fics, please?
| GreenWallsOfArt chapter 3 . 11/27/2010
Okay, a little better this time around. The story'sreally picking up from here.
The dialogue from when Natalie and Edward meet Pip was so sweet and snappy, especially with Pip's attitude towards Nathaniel. And personally, I'd say he's right. Who'd have thunk that Nathaniel would actually do what he did to Natalie after she grew up? Also, the friendship between her and Edward is really cute...hopefully she won't get jealous when he and Giselle meet, lol.
It was actually a clever idea to have Natalie talk in rhyme. I guess it only makes her sound more like an Andalasian that way, but it really works.
Keep going with your writing, this is getting good...!
| GreenWallsOfArt chapter 2 . 11/27/2010
Okay, lots of things to talk about with this chapter. First of all, I don't think you meant for everything to be underlined (if you do, my apologies for assuming). I also stress using underlines and bolding to distinguish between your note and the rest of the story.
Second, I think that it's Phillip not Phillips, but that's what I've heard mostly.
You also seem to be using "O" in place of "Oh", so if you could fix that, as well as numerous punctuation and capitalization errors, but a little Spell-Check and whatnot should do the trick.
Still, I must admit that I enjoyed the scenes with Edward and Reginald, because Edward is still the oblivious rascal we all know and love, as well as the interaction between Rob and Natalie as it was very natural and funny when Natalie began to sing. (I wonder, if she weren't related to Nathaniel, could she possibly be related to Giselle?)
Well, anyway, enough of my babble. Hope this advice helps and I look forward to the rest of the story...
| GreenWallsOfArt chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
Okay, so, mixed feelings about this one. I like the idea and am looking to read more about Natalie's adventure, but I think it'd be a good idea to use bolding, underlining, and italics to tell apart certain characters when their lines are read so there is less confusion for speedy readers, like myself. Other than that, not a bad start and keep writing!
| xJadeRainx chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
I Thought that the beginning was funny... but then I was shocked! Natalie is Nathaniel's daughter? I would have never guessed! I just never really thought much about his life before Enchanted. What happened to his wife, Sophia?
| Pca student chapter 7 . 5/24/2010
| fremontdenver chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
wow thats really neat love your characters
| N0L0NG3R1NU53 chapter 1 . 2/4/2009
Um . . . it's Narissa. _;
| Kat Bee Dee chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
Oh oh oh! I really like it! It's adorable! I just have a few comments. Let's start with: how old is Natalie? She sounds young, like 5-10, but I can't be sure. Then, how old is Edward? Oh oh and, it's Narissa, not Narcissa. Um...oh, I can't decide whether or not I like it in script form...it's a nice twist, but I think I prefer y'know...normal writing? Teehee, but it's extremely sweet and I only say these things in your best interest! Please post a second chapter soon! Can't wait!