Reviews for Revive
Icy Sapphire15 chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
I love when writers play with the psychology of characters. It's always so interesting.
generic reader chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
once again an interesting look at the characters and the effect of their journey upon them. okay, maybe not "once again" since this is your oldest posted story, but you get the idea. the point is i'm sensing a theme here. pretty interesting one, too. it's too bad you won't be writing any chaptered stories.

to get to the matter at hand... to tell you the truth i didn't really like the style of this fic. sorry. it seemed choppy to me, like it was trying to be stream-of-consciousness but grammar kept on getting in the way. i mean, you used so many periods. if anything, cutting ideas up into fragments like that will make your story more graveled-path-of-consciousness than stream-of-consciousness. so if i were you i'd hold back on the periods and use more commas, colons, semi-colons, dashes, etc. those'd give more of an experimental feel, like you're willing to swing out of bounds to express things instead of forcing them into the cages that are sentences.

same thing with paragraphing. when you write, listen to how things sound because punctuation and grammar can really affect rhythm/voice.

though the writing got better in the second half of the story, imo. this?

"I want to scream, to scream until my lungs are shredded, scream until I am nothing but a shriek, until my voice devours me and there is no pain, because I am a bodiless sound, echoing though the cave."

equals win.

and during the battle you stopped using so many periods and the writing benefited a lot. i enjoyed it. yeah, looking back, in the second half a lot of things came together. like in the beginning garet kept talking about how blackened their existence was, yadda yadda, and i was like c'mon, stop being so emo. but then after revive was cast on him i started to believe. because how many times must they have died? and how many times must they have felt that warm embrace and wanted to stay there? but they never could, because they'd always have to come back to their world of pain, to save it. as long as they fought for the right to live, they would be hurting.

in conclusion: angst only works when it's believable. this was believable. ya did good kid.
Ceylon205 chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
This is amazing. You wrote them all so well, and I love the characterization of the characters. Especially Isaac.

The ending line wass so poignant. Again, amazing.
R6 chapter 1 . 9/18/2009
Very nicely done. Excellent use of Stream of thought, disjointed enough to really give the feel of someone so tired they can't even think properly- he's just running on auto, yet not so abstract that the point, the feeling, is lost on the readers. It certainly makes me wish I could read more about what is going on, how Isaac feels about his new power. No doubt hating it, that feeling of self disgust that glimmers nicely in the fic, but also the desperation he must have felt to save his friend, can he really regret fully what he's done? hmm

Again nicely done

~Reviewer 6
rta chapter 1 . 3/5/2009
this was amazing... i never thought of it like this before... great job (even though it's somewhat shocking)
Silverpine chapter 1 . 10/10/2008
I really like this style of writing... You just multiplied it by one million pounds of win.

It feels gritty and real, and sad enough that made me cry... There really is no light at the end of the tunnel for these guys in this interpretation. I think that Garet is a tad too depressive, but he DOES worry about his friends...

You enjoyed writing this piece, and I can feel that as I read it. I can't wait to see whatever else you'll write in the future. :)
bobbyneko chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
that was awesome I like how you did it from garet's pov (since not many ppl like to write about garet)

and isnt there a term or something for the way you wrote? the whole thought-process rambling thing? Oh well, it makes it fun to read. Poor guys, life sucks huh.
Lemubaby chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
Great writing style, kinda depressing,


I really don't think a wimpy Kobold can kill these Adepts. Honestly.
Saiyukigallie chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
Kuso~! I love the story, the way you wrote it! And in Garet's point of view, nobody seems to much take notice of him that he also had his moments too.

Weird... I read this while listening to Romeo x Juliet's 'Inori~To Raise Me Up~' by Lena Park...

Overall, I love the story! You somehow made me cry there somewhere. I give it five stars!