|Reviews for What if he stayed?|
| Skye-Blue 101 chapter 2 . 9/23/2012
Your writing could be a little better...
| Bitches-Love-Canons chapter 24 . 10/23/2011
you rushed the ending, but i gotta say, fix some errors, and get more ideas, & you'll be even better. i loved the story, btw. awsome job. :)
| Bitches-Love-Canons chapter 17 . 10/23/2011
| Bitches-Love-Canons chapter 13 . 10/23/2011
this should be rated T...lol!
| 1netka chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Hi there - I know you finished this story a while back, but I just found it, and am intrigued by the story line. But I found it difficult to read with all the misspellings. Did you have this story beta'd? Perhaps you can re-edit to make it more reader friendly? Just a suggestion.
| TwistedLeaves chapter 1 . 11/5/2009
I definitely agree: they make Rosalie sound like a stereotypical chav, when she is meant to be decades old. Really like the chapter, and the charactisation!
| Carlisle060 chapter 9 . 5/7/2009
i thought that charlie wouldnt know!
but wtv ,
its your story! :)
| CarebearKara chapter 24 . 3/28/2009
This fic is awesome. I really liked reading it.
| YukaoruSena chapter 23 . 3/25/2009
I'm a new member and so I was wondering if you could tell me what beta readers are. Also since I'm a new member, I don't know much about this site and how to do stuff. I didn't know how to reply to your e-mail. The e-mail said I had to go to your profile to reply back so I went there. I thought that I could just send you a message, but it says that new members can't do that. What? I was really confused. Anyway, I ended up having to review a different chapter so I could talk to you again. And what's up with only being allowed to review once per chapter? That's stupid. Well, I'm glad that I was able to help. I really did think you were good, and I'm surprised that not that many people have shown interest. Keep writing, and good luck. Oh, and it really is a good habit to form if you re-read everything you write. As a writer myself, I do it all the time. Even for homework and tests. That way you can make sure that it makes sense, as well as check for mistakes. Other than minor things, though, it was really good. I send my best wishes for future stories.
| Grey's Lover 4ever chapter 24 . 3/25/2009
It was good. I'm sad to see it go though. I hope you start a new story soon. Keep pu the great work in whatever you decide!
| Grey's Lover 4ever chapter 23 . 3/25/2009
Coolness. Very good chapter. Except I'm a little offended. Grey's Anatomy is my favorite show.
| YukaoruSena chapter 24 . 3/24/2009
I thought that this story was very good. One thing I didn't like was that you really need an editor. I'm sorry, but it's true. I hate grammatical and spelling errors. I think you have talent as a writer. Every writer needs an editor, though. Just thought I should mention it. You might want to take that into consideration. Overall, though, it was very engaging and interesting. Maybe I'll read some more of your stories later. Good luck with future fanfics.
| princess2005129777 chapter 7 . 3/24/2009
love trhe story ish amazing nw may u please update?
| Alice Cullen 1534 chapter 24 . 3/23/2009
i love it
| Justfreezethemoment20 chapter 9 . 3/22/2009
i really like this story it is so much easier that charlie knows about vampires now and im happy that edward doesnt leave her and also theres no drama with jacob involved this is a great story