Reviews for Hellsing: Geist Krieg
Azure Zangetsu chapter 4 . 10/11/2008
Oh...I didn't know Mantis was going to read Metropolis Kid's mind. And Alucard seems to have a fantasy involving Integra, how interesting. Good chapter and nice action, keep it up you guys.

Always Thankful - Azure Zangetsu
KonohaShinobi chapter 3 . 10/7/2008
Well well, I guess that was an unexpected plot Job, and awaiting the next chapter.

Back to KonohaShinobi's Review Skits-

At Starbucks-

Me: How the hell does a ghost even drink coffee anyway?

Will: (still spazing over coffee)

(Kai enters the Starbucks and walks up to the counter)

Kai: I'll take a cappuccino, no sugar, extra foam.

Cashier: Will there be anything else sir?


Looks to the side and sees an asian kid trying to calm down a ghost)

Kai: I'll take a double frappe, extra cream...

(Walks over and sits at their table)

Kai: You in trouble with your boss?

Me: Well, it depends on what you mean by trouble, because I just went through a bunch of crazy shit in the past three hours.

Kai: Your taking care of a caffeine crazed ghost...

Me: That isn't the least of my problems.

Meanwhile with Jack-

Captain Jack: Why am I watching two vampire chicks making out in a cage?

Meanwhile at the Secret Headquarters-

?: Where the hell is Kai with my cappuccino?

Back at Starbucks-

Me: So, you're a girl?

Kai: Yeah, it seems like the author thought it seemed like a good idea after he read Extras by Scott Westerfeld.

Me: Aren't those Sci-fi chick books?

Kai: Yeah, but I was actually going to be a girl before that, it seems he didn't decide until he read Extras...

Will:(finally calmed down)

Me: That took a while...

Will: So, are we going to get Jack yet or not?

Me: Let me just tell the author what's up.

(He grabs a hammer and breaks down a wall with the number 4 on it, revealing an empty chair next to a laptop on a desk)

(A/N: Check out Lizwuzthere on Deviantart, it was one of her drawings that gave me the idea)

Me: Damn, he's out...

Will: Can we just go and get Jack ourselves, what can a pair of vampire lovers do to us?

Me: Have you read Twilight?

Will: Oh, right...

Me: Want to come with us Kai?

Kai: I just have to drop off my bosses' coffee and I'll catch up.

(She leaves)

Me: Well,on to saving that pirate asshole for the third time this season!

Will: How long will that take?

Me: We'll find out in the next review skit.

Announcer: Will ? ever reveal his true name?

Will Kai ever find out his/her true gender?

Will ? ever get his cappuccino?

Does Jack even want to escape from his latest fate?

All that and more on the next episode of KonohaShinobi Review Skit's.

Good Night and God bless.
Haissan chapter 3 . 10/4/2008
Well, this is taking a nice turn! I am appreciative. It also looks like you aren't going to involve snake, that's a another good thing, since the Shadow Moses incident took place 2 weeks before the story, then he is still in Alaska with Meryl. Besides the next time he sees Ocelot is on the freighter in New York City two years from then. Bravo. funny how you involve psycho mantis, makes it believable that he would have been put into screaming mantis and beauty's psyche. I am looking too deeply aren't I? The involvement of the Hero of Wolfenstein, another unexpected turn.
Azure Zangetsu chapter 3 . 10/4/2008
Oh, goodie goodie! Glad you updated, and who's the mystery gas masked man? Anyway...I like our new ghost fried here to help Seras. Keep it up, both of you. I'll be looking for more soon.

Always Waiting - Azure Zangetsu
bahleeeted chapter 3 . 10/4/2008
yay! _ another cool chapter. can't wait to see what happens next.
Sammich Man chapter 3 . 10/4/2008
Ahh, nice long chapter.

Seems that Jan is having an influence on Seras as well. And I believe we have two characters as video game references now. Or perhaps three, if that Hans guy counts. And I ponder who is the man in the gas mask, I don't think that would be Ocelot, perhaps someone else... Either way good job on the chapter, thanks once more for sending it via E-mail. Wouldn't you have guessed that I was filtered from the main page once more.
Azure Zangetsu chapter 2 . 9/29/2008
“Oh ho! So the spineless Frenchman fancies himself an action hero. I’ll give you credit, you have more guts than your countrymen from my day in age...Let’s see if they spill as well the second time!”

That was the best Hellsing line I've ever read. Holy crap... awesome. Keep up the great work.

Always Staring and Wide-eyed - Azure Zangetsu
Raina Meldamiriel chapter 2 . 9/28/2008
awsome more more more i hope that you update soon lol cant wait for more
bahleeeted chapter 2 . 9/26/2008
yay! :D But who is the cowboy? O_o Glad I finally got a chance to read it. _
Sammich Man chapter 2 . 9/26/2008
Good chapter, thanks again for sending me the story in email, the filters acted up once more. The format on the email made a few words mix together, but that's not really an issue, I was still able to read it.

I smirked at Jan's first line, an form of profanities work for him. That's what we all love about Jan. Haha...

I was thinking that Zorin would be lasting a bit longer into the story, but her revenge plan seems to have been cut short. Of course I thought that she was gone when Seras got her, but since that other old guy is there, the rule would be broken. I do like how Jan shot up Zorin to her death. Though I do wonder if it really is the last we will see the last of Zorin.

I wonder who the old man is, the form of him pointing his fingers like gun reminded me of that anime "Yuyu Hakasho"
Guest chapter 2 . 9/26/2008
Wow, I guess Jan does show a little loyalty now and then. Good work this chapter!

Well, speaking of loyalty, back to KonohaShinobi's Review Skits-

In the Secret HeadQuarters-

?: Are they still questioning the plot Kai?

Kai: No sir.

?: Very well, you can stop the improbability drive now.

(He presses a button)

Kai: But sir, what do we do now?

?: Send in Rip Van Winkle, we can't risk this happening again.


(Dancing stops)

Me: We stopped dancing!

Captain Jack: Yeah!

Zorin: Now I can kill Jack!

(Will's Ghost appears)

Will: I can't believe you shot me you prick!

Captain Jack: It's the rum talking!

Me: You've been sober for days...

Captain Jack: No I haven't, I've been stealing schnapps from Millennium!

Me: You just made Zorin madder, idiot...

Zorin: So it was you! Before I died, Dok always thought i was sneaking drinks before missions!

Captain Jack:What's that, Will, you need me to

save Elizabeth from perverts? Coming!

(Jack runs away)

Zorin: Get back here you pirate bastard!

(Zorin runs after him)

Me: Well, I don't know how this could get any weirder...

(Rip appears)

Rip: I am Rip Van Winkle the huntress, and i have come to kill the one they call Jack Sparrow!

Me: He went that way!(points)

Zorin also went that way as well.

Rip: Zorin's here? (squeal)

Zorin-Honey, Rip is here to make everything better!

(She goes chasing after Zorin)

Will: Didn't see that coming...

Me: So you want to go get some coffee while these three sort it out?

Will: What's coffee?

Me: (sigh) I really need to get you acquainted with the 21st century...

Meanwhile at Millennium-

Schrodinger: Hey Dok, where's all the schnapps?

Dok:Zorin's been here!

Schrodinger: Zorin's been dead for months, i should know because there's no one to pet me anymore...

Dok: My god, that means that the Pirate ghost was real!

Schrodinger: It was real, didn't you see the floating bottles of alcohol?

Dok: I thought that Rip was hypnotizing me again. She always liked messing with me, and i wonder if she liked me.

Schrodinger: She was in a relationship with Rip.

Dok: Didn't see that coming...

Schrodinger: What do you mean, "didn't see that coming?", you were the one who always caught them making out in the mess hall!

Dok: I thought they were just cleaning spaghetti off each others faces...

Schrodinger: You're an idiot, you know that right?

Dok: Do you want to go back in the cage?

Schrodinger: No, not the cage! The mystical cat boy hates the cage!

Dok: But wait, if Rip and Zorin were in a relationship when they died, then what are they doing now?


(Captain Jack in a cage)

Captain Jack: Let me out of here! There's odd women kissing out here!

(Rip and Zorin are currently in a lip lock)

Captain Jack: On second thought, leave me in here.

Meanwhile at Starbucks-

(Will starts bouncing around everywhere)

Will: Coffee, Coffee, Coffee!

Me: This wasn't my best idea, was it?

Meanwhile Again)-

(? is watching a giant screen)

?: Well ,that was interesting.

Kai, get me a latte, we have a lot of work to do!

Kai: Sir!

(Kai walks off to Starbucks)

Announcer Guy:Oh no, Kai is headed off to Starbucks! Will he find the caffeine crazed ghost and our hero, KonohaShinobi? Will Jack ever get out of the cage and escape the hands of R? Will we ever find out the name of that mysterious guy so we don't have to type ? anymore? We'll find out, in the next crazy edition of KonohaShinobi's Review Skits!

Coming to you from your nearest Metropolis Kid Story or from any other review sector!

God bless fan fiction and good night Metropolis!
KonohaShinobi chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
Wow, you came back!


Well then, this calls for a comeback of my own.

Last Season On KonohaShinobi's Review Skits-

Captain Jack: Why are we dancing?

Me: Why are you asking me that?

(Zorin suddenly pops up)

Zorin: As if I didn't have enough problems with you last season.

Me: You weren't in the skits last season.

(She sighs)

Zorin: I better be getting paid for this...

Captain Jack: Come on gent, don't get so down about this...

Zorin: Gent?, I'm a woman you idiot...

Captain Jack: Oh bugger...

Me:Now don't get too hasty Zorin, we need him alive...

Captain Jack: I'm already dead...

Me: Oh well, then go ahead...

(Zorin starts dancing)

Zorin: Why are we dancing like a banana holding maracas?

Me: I don't know...

Captain Jack: Will this ever stop?

Me: Maybe next skit...

(Orlando Bloom pops up)

Bloom: Did someone say Will?

(Jack shoots his head off)

Me:Holy shit, you killed Will Turner!

Captain Jack: Hey, at least he isn't the new Captain of the Flying Dutchman...

Me: POTC 3 : At World's End, remember?

Captain Jack: Bugger...

(Zorin pulls out her scythe)

Captain Jack: Where the hell is Pip when you need him?

Me: Well...

(Points to a noisy moan filled room)

Captain Jack: Lucky gent...

Me: Guess you'll have to stay here 'til he comes back.

Zorin: I'll kill you, you pirate bastard!

Me: Actually, that's going to occur on the next part of "KonohaShinobi's Review Skits."

Zorin: Aww...

Me: Your turn Jack.

Captain Jack: KonohaShinobi's Review Skits are a copyright of said author himself and cannot be duplicated in any state or form, many restrictions apply.

Me: Good night and god bless Fanfiction and Metropolis Kid.
Sammich Man chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
Ah, great start to your sequel!

(Annoying filters, there wasn't even anything to directly imply a blocking *mutter mutter*.)

I noticed your little reference to Jack Sparrow and live action movies. :P And Jan is typical Jan as always, it's nice to see him as an addition to the story, he has a place in all the Hellsing fan's hearts.

The interactions for Seras to Pip were nice, and convincing, since they actually get into arguments like an actual couple. Plus, Seras has a point, no one wants to see air petting and tonguing. Except maybe Jan...

Poor Integra.
Azure Zangetsu chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
It's a good start and props for still keeping your creative juices flowing. But one thing...who was the one-armed blonde dude? I read the manga and I haven't seen the anime much. Is it the werewolf or Father Anderson? Or is it another character? I guess I'm rambling.

Always Thankful - Azure Zangetsu
bahleeeted chapter 1 . 9/21/2008
omgomgomg Volume 7 revisited! D And this time Pip will come out alive! I think I love you... Hehe. I suppose if Hirano really does # $% the ending of the manga up and keep everyone but Seras and Integra dead we could always just have Seras become a nexus and be able to see Walter and Alucard. Or, you know, just write in AU where they come back to life. XD

Keep writing! Want to know what happens next!
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