|Reviews for Beyond the Shadows|
| SkyArtemis chapter 12 . 8/8
First things first, your portrayal of Shikamaru and Temari is simply well done. (1) This was really suited to be the last chapter, there is a feeling of closure for the whole story but enough anticipation to make you look forward more about the two of them. (2) I really like the whole story especially the idea of the deers. I saw a deeper side of Shikamaru here. I also love the way you showed Chouji's sweetness, the way he'd prioritize Shika and Ino over food. The characters are simply adorable. Its one of the reasons I love reading fics, different authors give a certain depth in the characters that I've already loved. (3) My favorite chapter was Chap 7, particularly the part where Shikaku-san thought of how Shikamaru has grown as a Nara. (4) I really like your writing style. I'm a poetic sort of person but I suck at writing and speaking deep emotions so I usually immerse myself in stories that really tug my heartstrings. Your writing really does that to me. I'll be reading the rest of your Naruto fics and I really am looking forward to them. (5) Lastly, the only thing I think you should improve would be to upload more of your stories! Keep up the amazing work!
| mississippimudpiecraves chapter 12 . 2/3
1. I wished Shika had seen her in the nightgown. haha. Your analysis of shadows is the first I've seen written as such in any fanfics. Well done. I think you captured its essence quite well. And Temari's whole monologue was very nice.
2. I really like it. I think it was well written and very sweet and original.
3. Unique: shika watching over kumo give birth. that was nice.
4. writing style: great! keep it up!
5. hmm more shikatema fluff! that's just me though haha. i think the fluff you wrote was appropriate for the story
[it's funny how i read this story around the same time that you reviewed my story. which i still need to reply to. lol]
| lumutness chapter 12 . 6/30/2015
This chapter feels like a conclusion, even moreso than previous chapter. My favourite part is Temari's realization that she loves Shikamaru and the whole paragraph afterward. The musing about shadow is like an assesment about Nara -especially Shikamaru Nara. The way she notices that about a Nara is amazing. Sure, another people would spare a glance to a Nara and acknowledge them as amazing/dangerous/great, but that's it. Temari appreciates it -and stares.
like I said earlier, the story is vague. Nearing the end of the story, I lost track about the story's focus. At first it was treaded quietly behind the mystery of Kumo's labor (interesting choice, btw), Temari's uneasiness, and Inuzuka Hana's presence (and Ino), but after chapter 9 or so your focus seems shifted into Temari's toughts, another aspect of the story quietly disappeared. Shikamaru's setrategic thinking and careful treading (especially around Temari) is also rendered unnoticeable, sadly. Or... okay, maybe I just didn't notice.
I'd like to see more description about Nara Clan Compound, especially the forest, since there's so many scenes in this story that happened there. Also, a senpai once give me this advice, that you need to give every character a mission. ;)
(Choji and Ino's presences still felt like a background rather than a character here). Well, that's my suggestion regarding th whole story.
| lumutness chapter 7 . 6/30/2015
This first six chapter is very vague, though I have suspicions regarding the plot since chapter three. The first and second chapter, hovewer, only alerted us about Hana's presence and Shikamaru/Temari uneasiness, which was not enough to alarm me at the possibility of Shikamaru being romantically interested to Hana and confused since, well, there's Temari. The atmosphere around Hana felt wrong, somehow. She doesn't feel like a challenger for Temari even though she has interest in our resident Nara and can make Shikamaru blushed sweetly. (Aww).
(but seriously, what's with him and the older women?)
When you brought Kumo in the picture, though, I instantly remembered that she is a vet. I tought the doe was sick or injured, so I didn't expect this. Well, I still snorted at Temari's jealously, though. I wonder how Hana will react.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 12 . 3/26/2015
Your ideas blend well together and the slow development of plot and character closeness worked well for me. I think having each character come to their own conclusions after inner thought makes it more meaningful in what they learn.
I actually can see expansion of this story (in my mind) from this point. Although Temari has come to a conclusion that she loves Shikamaru, the whisper of the admission is lost to him as he is asleep. Words he has expressed outwardly lets us know that he confides in her his feelings, so I suppose that's why I was left thinking about this and hoping he would receive this final bit in return.
Know that I enjoyed this fanfiction piece as is. I think I just got swept up in feeling for the characters, a hallmark indication that your storytelling ability is remarkable. The above criticism is only in my own mind and does not reflect dissatisfaction with anything. I very much enjoyed this story.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 11 . 3/26/2015
It was nice to dedicate this chapter to your family and in a way, the calm and comfortable nature of this chapter was a nice reflection of whom it was dedicated to. I know what I'm hoping for the next chapter but can't wait to see what you have in store.
The commentary divulged about developing a secret code just for them was a nice touch. I somehow now hope that Temari comes up with her own special name for Shikamaru other than his last name.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 10 . 3/26/2015
Interesting question. I suppose I'm happy to read a story with no expectations other than what the author intended, so had the story not continued, I would have been satisfied. Still a few lingering questions would sit in my mind, but I suppose that's the beauty in leaving things as they are and letting the imagination run free.
As I am reading this after the fact that it's completed beyond this chapter though, I'm very happy to see you continued on.
This chapter was a nice bite sized piece so I am happy I can take time to read on!
| fanofthisfiction chapter 9 . 3/26/2015
The need for signs supporting care and love between the two, strengthen the bond Shikamaru and Temari are sharing, at least for me. Plus, the fact that she is jealous was an added bonus.
The fact that this love story isn't rushed gives it a romantic air. Development of a sincere friendship will surely make any feelings more than that, very special.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 8 . 3/25/2015
I liked the backstory on Temari's personality and typical ways of addressing things. The tenderness to her sharp edges even helped me to see into her character a bit more. I also felt the inner understanding Shikamaru has of her is the link that helps the romance part of this.
The chapter sizes are also very manageable for me which is really nice. I know some may want longer ones but they've worked out well for me.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 7 . 3/23/2015
Wow, this was a wonderful surprise and done well. Yes, thank you for sparing the gory details. I think the way it was presented brought it into a joyous light, as it was meant to be.
You tied loose ends up as to his missing status as well as why Hana was involved all along. I especially liked the way you incorporated Japanese names and meanings into this story with explanations to boot.
All in all, very well done.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 6 . 3/23/2015
The Author's note, was the carrot that is teasing me to read the next chapter. Luring me into just one more...of course for my benefit!
You definitely have a knack for ending chapters with something special. Temari's reaction to Chouji's comment about Shikamaru missing her had a sweetness to it that was tinged with just the right bit of humor.
I suppose my one question from this chapter was if it was Temari who addressed Shikaku as 'Uncle Shikaku' or if it was Ino. It had seemed that Temari had just met him, so I didn't think she would address him this way. Maybe I just need to re-read it. Perhaps I glossed over and missed something.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 5 . 3/23/2015
No doubt you are shaping the story into something incredible. I still haven't a clue though where it is going and the mystery prods me to look ahead.
I especially liked the end of this chapter. Kudos for adding a smart, insightful nature to Yoshino. That added a little icing to the cake, so to speak.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 4 . 3/23/2015
I adored that note left: short, sweet, and provoking. Temari's reactions paint a fairly good picture of her personality and I now you have me squandering a few more moments to read at least the next chapter ahead. Good job!
| fanofthisfiction chapter 3 . 3/22/2015
Yes, you did very well in this chapter. I adored the round about way, Shikamaru himself is painted. Gentlemanly is a one word that definitely comes to mind. Pokes of fun that tease him about these aspects is adorable but the love and respect he has for females gives this a very respectful and romantic feel.
| fanofthisfiction chapter 2 . 3/22/2015
I really liked how your jumped right into bringing out the personalities of Ino and Temari. Not much is revealed but the fact that Ino is taking time out to greet Temari and the Godaime gave him time off, spoke volumes. Delving into Temari's reasons for being in Konoha was very telling as well. The unsurety felt in the beginning of involved relationships before marriage or lifelong partnership is painted well here and perhaps was my favorite part in this chapter.