Reviews for The Strong One
PiNkBuN17 chapter 1 . 12/19/2011
Wow, Shampoo would so say these kind of things! Ha, funny how people think she would talk improper in her own language. You did a wonderful job!
Ganheim chapter 1 . 11/5/2009
since he had just come from Jusenkyo and was in his cursed form at the time.

[Although she didn’t know that, so might it make more sense to present this fact later?]

and undefined in his approach.

[unrefined, I think]

I'm a great chef and I can cook more than one bit of food over and over.

[Ukyo has a range of food she sells at her restaurant (Shampoo would’ve seen the menu because she’s been in the area before), even if she hasn’t seen when Ukyo made dinner for the Tendos during the Gambling King arc (I think it was yakitori in that instance), but either way Ukyo and Shampoo are likely evenly matched]

If he chooses one of the other two they'll just keep him here in Japan.

[How does that differ from Shampoo, who likewise wants to drag him off to her home (in this story)?]

since cats are quite a bit nocturnal.

[Most that I know of sleep all day long, night and day – they seem fairly opportunistic in terms of time usage]

Normally by now Great grandmother would be pushing for me to use some kind of potion or drug to "persuade" Airen

[ While Cologne has jumped at the chance to use magic (orchestrating the love pearl fiasco, probably also the Kirihashi Mushrooms), she seemed to learn pretty quickly to stay out of those things and make use of available situations rather than creating them and being seen as a belligerent party. Shampoo’s much the same, but she’s impulsive enough to jump to a new chance without thinking it through]

used everything we have that we can.

[They have a whole trunk full of magic doodads, they couldn’t have possibly used every (reasonable) possibility – I think they just decided to stop after deciding that their first (couple) attempts failed]

I think you captured the certain, relatively haughty spirit of Shampoo, but I also think that you’ve shown her as seriously under-estimating the Fiancee Brigade – she’s been nervous about them in subtle ways enough that she should be intelligent enough to know that they’re a real threat to her pursuit of Saotome Ranma. She also seems to be a tad too sure that she’s “inevitably going to win”, which is true to the title but I think it could use some more of the sentiment of worry/caution and add more of the sense of “I’m going to keep fighting this war, and I’ll win because the strong always win” – that would more clearly include her determination. I do like at least how you didn't try to write the story in pidgin, a lot of writers forget the basic linguistic concept that people are more fluent in their own language than they are in secondary ones and it's irritating to read that for long stretches.
LadyKatherine29 chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
I enjoyed the heck out of this. Short but a very nice read. A rare look into Shampoos mind that was done tastfully. While it's true she's a bit cold exct. That is part of her up bringing. She was raised to be strong exct. Shampoo isn't all that bad. She's just stuck following the laws of her village. Over all I have to agree with her. She really is the best choice for Ranma.
Rose1948 chapter 1 . 9/24/2008
Nice look at Shampoo's thoughts.