|Reviews for Finally Broken|
| coalitiongirl chapter 2 . 3/30/2009
Nice concept; I'd love to see it expanded on in an extended story...
| cass2421 chapter 2 . 9/25/2008
OK...I'll try to put this as nicely as I know how. I think I just killed my eyes for the night on this story alone. I read the story, and thought it was fairly good, Buffy's character matched the ditsy Buffy from that epsiode really well.
HOWEVER... Spacing is real a problem. My Advice: Stick to 4 or 5 lines at the very most, otherwise it's extremetly hard to read. I read your other review and wasn't all that impressed there are nicer ways to get your point across. I'm not a stickler on grammar usually, but in with this fic, I spent more time trying to keep my place than noticing the flaws in the grammar. At any rate, it wasn't nearly as bad as a few other fics I recently read that looked more like bad text messages than fanfics.
Overall, just double check when you post. I've been reading fics for about 7 years now and nothing annoys me more that when an author rushes out a chapter with a zillion mistakes to appease readers. Your the author, take as much time as you need to do it right the first time because in the end it reflects on you and you alone.
| ItalieJade chapter 2 . 9/25/2008
Okay...either you typed it up the way it is or when you uploaded it on the site the line breaks disappeared. Either way it needs to be fixed if you actually expect people to read it. The problem is that people don't like reading one big page of text clumped together. Its too hard on the eyes and most of the time it's not worth it. You also have some grammar issues that I can tell from the bottom of the text. I didn't actually bother reading your story. My advice would be to fix it or get someone else to fix it; or don't write until your skills as a writer improve. I started writing on this site when I was 13 and after a few stories I realized that I needed to work on my writing before trying to put it on this site. Some people can write and others can't. You have a very good plot idea and it sounds interesting but immediately after clicking on the story I wanted to go back to the main page. My email is if you want to contact me. I can't guarantee you will get a response right away. But don't contact me if all you want to do is tell me how mean I am for telling the truth. I'm doing this to help you and I don't believe in coddling people.