Reviews for Innocence
xlheslydesux chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
i hope you continue this story... :p
Guest chapter 1 . 6/24/2013
This is awesome I really hope that you continue this someday.
l1s44p chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
It is really such a shame that very little review to this story I think, I really like it :)
I would really love it if this story continue
Sailor Pandabear chapter 1 . 4/3/2011
nice
Mooniecat chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
I have to say I agree with everyone else about adding Zafira and the wolkenritter to this. I really wish you could elaborate on how they ended up with Nanoha and how the dimensional disturbance happened. And good ending since you would add the "beginning". Yeah, I am asking for more. Please?
Lance58 chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
nice story hope you continue to write
ReviewerPlus chapter 1 . 6/13/2010
THIS IS AWESOME, just pure awesomesauce.

Moar plz?
Knight of Dusk chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
*Random generic complaint on the story*

But seriously, it's very good.

And I really hope you continue this, it has so much potential.
Sociopathic-Antichrist chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
*Squee*

That was awesome!

Zafira and Nanoha? Kick-ass, especially given their natures.

This really should be expanded on with a proper beginnging and an end. It really did rock :D

Sweet and tragic at moments. We demand moar!

Regards

SA
NeverEverFaceTheDark chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
I think it's most definitely an interesting idea...yup, I'd certainly read it if you'd write more!
DreamShadower chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
A very interesting AU indeed. I like how you got Zafira down so well.

Also with giving Nanoha and Fate even more of a reason to Fight. Interesting to combine Nanoha ans the Wolkenitter.

If you ever decide to continue this it'd be an interesting plotline to follow.
markesellus chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
I like this one a lot because Zafira's in it. Also it was interesting to see an AU-ish thing with Nanoha and the Wolken Ritter. Again, I like your style of writing.
xFireWorx chapter 1 . 9/30/2008
Well first off this is a great piece of writing! You're definitely getting better with each piece you write! Yay!

I loved the AU aspects to it! I just wished there was a little more from Fate's POV of view (continuation please :D ...?)

I thought Zafira was well done. A hard feat to pull off because he generally doesn't appear in most NanoFate centric stories. I like how you had replaced him for Yuuno to parallel with Arf. People generally overuse Yuuno so it gets a little dry after a little while-good job on breaking 'story' archetypes!

The last part when Nanoha saved Fate was sad, but sweet in a way. I thought you were going to kill off Nanoha and I got really scared/upset! Then I was extremely relieved when she lived through it...

The only thing that bothered me was that you used 'x' instead of a line break. I'm really randomly OCD at times-so sorry!

Keep going at it!

-Fire
DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 9/29/2008
A fairly conventional story, though not badly executed (especially from Fate's POV). What makes it stand out are the original elements, which in turn make it a good candidate for a continuation or expansion beyond a one-shot: the age-up effect opens the door for a more romantic or at least mature initial relationship between the heroines (and, because of that, more confusion along the way)-which can also be reflected in the more serious and personal concerns Nanoha has about her family (nothing like a little "Help Fate or save my family?" angst...), the question of why the Wolkenritter are serving/associated with Nanoha is intriguing...and hey, if you get around to Hayate, does this mean that the Book of Darkness has a Guardian Ferret Librarian? So...write more!
Kazumi chapter 1 . 9/29/2008
Here, the true Nanoha!

Not White Devil or else, just the real Nanoha :p it's really good I love your story

But it seems a little short for my appetite XD you don't planning to make an another part for this story? T.T
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