Reviews for Naruto: Shinobi Wars
ClarkX100 chapter 42 . 1/22/2015
We need updates :(

I've reread Altered History for the 3rd time and only just now got around to reading Shinobi Wars, but I've read it all in 3 days. It's gonna kill me waiting for an update
HokagenoNaruto chapter 42 . 1/2/2015
For the longest time, I was never able to finish this story. I don't quite know why- I read a few chapters, and then some other story caught my eye. Now that I've finally read it, I can't help but say I'm disappointed- not because it's a bad story, but rather because you're not updating such a beautifully written and original story.

The perspectives you show from all fronts of the war, as well as your writing style, certainly leave nothing to be desired. There's so much I can say, but all I'm going to say is this; this is a damn good story, and it would be a terrible loss if you didn't complete it :)
CMVreud chapter 10 . 12/25/2014
I'll end a Nara born and bred if you write all these blondes so troublesome.
CMVreud chapter 8 . 12/25/2014
Damn troublesome blondes.
Guest chapter 42 . 12/19/2014
Love it it's great
i ish shoopuf chapter 2 . 12/12/2014
Accepted not excepted... That one is my worst problem. It's because of how I pronounce accept... and how I would have to pronounce it, would cause it to sound similar to ah-septic. Stupid word... Stupid, stupid word.

Of course, my grammar is not helped by reading things of this ilk.
i ish shoopuf chapter 1 . 12/12/2014
Holy hell. Look at all of that gratuitous Japanese.

The last story was interesting... Though the fighting scenes went on for far too long. It got to the point where they were as interesting as a wet sock; so, I skipped them. I guess over all... it was okay.

I was thinking about reading this one, well... This AN was my biggest pet peeve about your other story. Things that don't need to be in Japanese-in an original English story-are. I can understand using the word jutsu in the story, for the word technique is just a very silly looking and sounding word. However, not much else is called for here.

There were other things that annoyed me... Things that just had to be excepted for this story... no matter how much parental incest you put into that mess... It just had to be soldiered through. It was sadly all the excess Japanese terms that ended up annoying me the most.

There was a gem in all of it though. When you had Hayate talking with Ino, the explanation between geniuses and artist/workers was a very good bit... probably the best in your story... Also, Your is possessive form of you and you're is you are. I just had to say that once. There were others but that one was the most egregious.
Heron-Of-Sparta chapter 42 . 11/18/2014
Yeah this chapter ain't up to the rest, but still its not totally crap.
Ghost9Tails chapter 42 . 11/16/2014
Why haven't you updated I've been waiting since January ︵ヽ(Д)ノ︵
mooman23 chapter 42 . 9/21/2014
I reread all of Altered History and Shinobi Wars over the past week. This may not be your best chapter or your favorite, but I enjoyed it. I like the idea of a Jashin worshiping Yugito. I'm pretty sure you were the first one to have a sword wielding serious Ino too. A phoenix like Yonbi. Ame village holding all kinds of ancient technology. "The Ancients". Little things like that, the way you expand so much on the Naruto universe, are what makes reading your stories so enjoyable. Even if you never finish Shinobi Wars, I very much enjoyed the story and will look forward to any new chapters coming out.
Litany of Hate chapter 26 . 7/24/2014
Are you fucking kidding me?

You go to such great lengths to develop characters and this is the result? How incredibly disappointing. With this chapter you have utterly undone everything you've worked so hard on. Your characters are no longer believable and your story has crumbled into the cesspool that is all the other trite idiocy infesting this website.

Your 'Hitokiri' just let an incredibly dangerous enemy live. Not just a dangerous enemy, but an enemy that had slaughtered her comrades in droves (I'll get to that later). For what, their supposed "connection", that brought only pain and anger, that Sakura used against everyone before? Or was it, perhaps, the promise of intel from someone who is by definition a spy and a traitor - rendering any such information unreliable at best? Maybe the incredibly overpowered bloodline they two are some of the last holders of, that can wreak untold destruction on anything in their sight? What part of bringing these two back to Konoha could have ever sounded like a good idea, idiot? Please, elucidate me.

Furthermore it then fell to Naruto to take Ino into custody for abetting said traitor, but instead allowed himself to be LED AWAY FROM THE ENEMY WITHOUT SECURING THEM. That's just baby town frol

Sure, Sakura chose to spare Ino's life when she had Ino at her mercy. That is NO excuse. Where was that mercy for all the others she murdered? She would recieve NO QUARTER from anyone doing their duty, and would likely end up locked away the rest of her life or executed for her dereliction of it. We all know that'll never happen, though. Your core characters are the only people who ever survive anything. Whole ANBU teams get wiped out, along with all the personnel of the labs, but who cares so long as Ino gets to keep being grossly incompetant.

You are one of the worst combat writers I've seen. People who are trying to kill each other get the fucking job done. If that's what they've fot a mind to do they start out doing it and don't stop until the it's done. Instead you've got trained killers running around tickling each other to death.

When you manage to get behind your enemy, where he has no guard, a normal person would go for the kill. You, on the other hand, go for a kick. Of all the hundreds of goddamned kicks and punches you've thrown that have connected, none of them have been debilitating... and every single one of them SHOULD.

If you're fighting for your life you don't piss around. EVERY SINGLE CONNECTED SHOT should be an outright attempt to kill, debilitate, or to open a guard for said shot. Instead you've got people flying through the air and rolling around the ground like an idiotic circus act, and throwing punches like they've got all the time in the world for the other guy to get their shit together and try to kill them right back. Seriously, there is no excuse for this. You kill droves of faceless characters all the time with something happening off screen or lightly brushed over, but if it's a fight-scene then out come the mild manners and fucking sparing pads.

You had Ino block an overhead kick by crossing her arms in an X... while she was holding a SWORD and she's one of Konoha's premier kenjutsu users! You utterly fucking fail.

Your mechanics suck as well. You have no idea what these people should be doing or how they should be moving. If half those "round kicks" actually flew you wouldn't have any characters left. They'd all get taken to the ground and broken... something else which NEVER HAPPENS in your combat. Grappling is apparently a mystery to the ninja world... even though it's the most instinctual and thus default mode of combat for humans.
Jiraiya's Disciple chapter 42 . 7/6/2014
Great story. There are few stories as dark and gritty as yours while still maintaining a high quality of writing. Did you abandon it, or will you start updating?
Naruto.GOD chapter 9 . 6/27/2014
That definition of baba is so much better then when I looked the word up, said something about sweets, and thanks for clearing up the rest.
Naruto.GOD chapter 2 . 6/27/2014
Once this shit starts then that prick better be dead.
Naruto.GOD chapter 1 . 6/27/2014
You goddamn motherfucker before I read this chapter I have to say one thing Sakura's dad better be killed by her boyfriend. If not I'm going to be beyond pissed.
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