Reviews for Unbidden
Jaz chapter 1 . 10/30/2013
when will you stop making more excuses not to update? Just finish your work or tell your readers that you won't be writing anymore.
Light Gaia chapter 1 . 8/12/2013
My Lady i hope you will continiue this story it has a good start and i enjoyed reading orchid.
Aelia chapter 1 . 6/29/2013
Where's the rest of the story? So far I haven't seen any sex or bondage or fifty shades of fey.
Opera123 chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
I enjoyed chapter one, but if I might be so bold to ask for chapter two as well.
Please.
LA Knight chapter 1 . 10/14/2011
So first I'm gonna say... why hasn't this been updated in 3 years? Why would you do that to us? Why, Ms. Lussier? Your author's note says the rating is gonna crank up, and the status indicator doesn't say "complete," so it's not finished. Has it been abandoned? (

Secondly I'm gonna ask, does this take place in the same universe as "Orchid?" I only ask because you mentiong "the Four" in both. Who are the Four?

Okay, and third thing before I get to the actual review part - I'm really really really tired (been up since about 6pm yesterday, with only about 4-5 hours of sleep in me, and I've got strep) so if I sound kind of loopy-wonky-weird, that's why. D

Onward!

So, I like how firstly, Nuada is obviously younger here. I know you don't see him right away, but I wanted to mention that first. Not that Nuada seems young, per se. But he is clearly younger than he is portrayed in "Orchid" (which, considering it's about 2000 years later, is understandable). He's a bit... friendlier. More open, less reserved. I like that. I also like that he makes more... mistakes, we'll call them. In the movie, his one miscalculation was that he didn't see the idea of Nuala stabbing herself (and who else expected that? Not me). But here, he accepts the girl as a slave/pet/thing without really thinking about what that means. And then not even 5 minutes later it hits him in the face and he's like, "Wait... no one told me that! Darn it!"

And he's less... bitter. You can see that in the way he thinks about his dad. In "Orchid," when he thinks about his father in the present, there's always this sadness and hurt, this grief. Like, "Yes, he's my father and king, but... come ON. I've had enough." And in the flashback to the cilfa'lir's death, where's he about 1600 years older than he's portrayed here but 400 or so years younger than in the film, his perception of his father is different then, too. More betrayed, but resigned and depressed because loyalty demands he do something he feels in his heart is just wrong (obeying the treaty) but at the same time his moral compass demands he do something that his sense of loyalty says is just wrong as well (rejoining the crown pieces). Then we have Nuada here. When he finds out his dad sent this envoy to him, he's not angry or betrayed or anything like that. He's just exasperated, like, "Dad, c'mon. For real? Why?" And I like that you show the... evolution of his bitterness and hatred throughout your work.

Let's see, what else... well, it's an interesting concept (the slave girl). I've seen that in other fandoms but not here (at least as far as I've looked, which I'll admit isn't far due to lack of internet access - I discovered you on the recommendation of HotelMoscow telling me to read "Orchid"). Especially because you set the stage for this great evolution of the master/slave relationship because he starts off not even wanting her; he just wants to know how she knows Elvish, but he doesn't want her around until she's clean and stuff.

Oh, and there's a detail I like too - that Elves think humans are gross. Not just Nuada, but all the Elves think the humans are gross. I've never thought about that aspect of it before - for someone with a sharp nose like Elves probably have, the stink of tanned hides or decorative bones or unwashed bodies must be pretty nasty. Actually I just love the detail you put into this and other works of yours. Those little details and your word choice really set the stage of the piece and give great insight into characters and situations. It's so cool.

And speaking of Elves thinking humans are nasty, I like how the other Elves are like, "Oh, wind-shift! Human stink! Gag!" And Nuada thinks the same thing, but he makes it look all casual and stuff, like he's just thinking, "Hmmm, this is interesting (and annoying). What's it doing here?" When what he's really thinking is, "Oh, my gosh that's disgusting." Like. D

So are you gonna... ever update? It's been 3 years. The odds are probably no. But you never know, so I hold out hope. What're the odds?

Sincerely,

LA Knight
4Helia chapter 1 . 7/13/2011
You know, what's the worst of all this FanFiction? That the really promesing stories never get updated ... TOO SAD!
Good Work chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
Dear Ariana Lussier. I really like this story. Please continue to update.

In future updates, will the rating change to from K to M.

Does the "chieftain's daughter ... Moom" has elvish blood in her from some distant ancestor(ress)? If so, can they track down the distant relatives and how will they feel about meeting her?

If she has elvish blood, how many others in the tribe or surrounding tribes have this genetic makeup and how will all the pureblood elves react to this information? I am going to assume that elves in this story have problems reproducing many offspring.

"Earn his trust and pierce his heart, little Moom. Save the People."

Wow, this is a huge request grandmother is appealing for Moom to do. Will she be able to carry it off or will Prince Nuada leave her to the practically absent tender mercies of "Haithe"?

Speaking of Haithe, what is the deal with him and what are his true feelings towards humans.

If Moom manages to gain Prince Nuada's trust and hopefully love, what are the circumstances for bringing these about?

If or when Moom gets pregnant with Nuada's child(ren), how will he and the elves and humans react to the news?

Please, please update.
Emerald Gaze chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
!

where's the rest!

how will i know what haappens to moom if u dont right more!

...

oh and considering all the warnings i dont think the rting should be K even now

u kno having a low rating is what turns some readers off of a story.. i myself hav passed by this one before probably for the low rating

at least t for now would be nice, but as u said u'd change it when it came to that point so do as you will

those guys were idiots, at least it seemed that way after they met the elves

i thought the hag would at least clean her up but it's obvious thats a trait they havent seemed to grasp

i look forward to seeing what will happen next

!_!
GilraenS chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
I have to agree with “ANguyen504”, you probably did abandon this story never the less I would like to comment (not review, don’t think I’m qualified for that). I really liked the first chapter, didn’t notice there was only one until the end and that was so disappointing.

I totally agree with your portrayal of Nuada, I could go on for pages on how accurate I think you depicted him but I might come off as a sycophant. I have read too many Hellboy/Nuada FanFic’s only to quit halfway through the first chapter because Prince “stern & grave” turns into a crying pansy at the sight of some completely unrealistic, overconfident, weapon wielding teenage girl. I mean really! The elf’s how old? Lived through who can imagine what, why would a violent teenager impress him. That brings me to Moom’s age, after reading your notes I was ‘n tad skeptical about the story but having read the first, and so far, only chapter I have to say it would not have worked any other way. This way there’s a lot of time and none of that love at first sight or practically overnight nonsense. Also logically she has to be “untouched”, nothing less will do for this elf Prince. As a side comment I have to mention I don’t really like her name, I thought it was a typo. Moom, I think our cows make that sound ... sorry. Other than that I like her, she’s shy, timid and obviously scared as heck, completely believable and expected considering the circumstances.

I like that you don’ts waste paragraph after paragraph on descriptions, it’s just long and short enough, like reading a chapter from a professionally edited book.

Please consider completing this one, I hate not finishing a book.

(P.S. English is not my first language so please pardon the mistakes, also don’t know if you’ve read Saving Nuada by Gwenfarr but I would recommend it)
foodaddict chapter 1 . 8/27/2009
I'm so glad I found you! I've been looking for good fanfiction for the longest time now, and I'm happy that I got hooked on Hellboy and found my way to this. We! (,)

I think you are about the only author so far who's captured Nuada perfectly. I hope you update this soon because I'll keep hitting the Refresh button until you do. (~.)
ANguyen504 chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
I see this story hasnt been updated in a long time so youve probably abandoned it but it deserves a review anywayz. I absolutely loved the idea. The plot is so unique. The idea of Nuada taking a human slave which im sure he is going to fall for. When reading the story i found it to be a new and creative idea for a Nuada fic. I like that its not solely based around Hellboy, that Its in a time period of its own. And the concept that Nuada doesnt automatically look at Moom and think "OMG Im in love with this human" (which i find very very un-Nuada like), i like that hes sees her as nothing at the moment. A relationship like that would definitely have to grow it wouldnt be just automatic. Oh and that idea that Nuada only wants her to find out how she knew some Elvish words was a perfect set up for the story. Youve pulled everything together greatly. You've kept Nuada in character with his cold heartless attitude which is a hard character to pull off. Great Job!
Tonnerre chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
I can only hope to see more. It's good I assure you I hope you haven't abandoned it.
Kyarni chapter 1 . 5/7/2009
I just made an account to review your story. So this is the first review I write having an account. I really really like it so far. I love the detailed description and i think you did very well in the charaterization.

I also like Moom. First of all the name is just great. Many writers tend to use modern names, which are often not really fitting (in my opinion). Furthermore her character is promising. I also liked, that there are so many other characters beside the main characters. I think it gets more realistic that way and the interaction between them was nice to read. I hope you continue the story. It will be the first on my fav list :)
Squintz18 chapter 1 . 4/4/2009
That was a very interesting read! Please continue I'm curious as to what happens next.
magialuna chapter 1 . 3/15/2009
Fascinating beginning. Are you going to continue this? I very much look forward to it. -Clare
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