|Reviews for Beth secrect lover|
| MoonlightMadness-DarkHorse chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
There are three possible explanations for this story. 1: My first ideais that English isn't your main language. 2: You're young. Young writers are awesome! But to make sure your stories are good, you shoukd get a Beta. 3: This is just an anchient story. Whatever the case, keep trying!
| MsTerminator chapter 4 . 4/28/2013
Ok...I don't know if English is your native language or not, but if it isn't, please get a beta reader or just write in the language you're native in. If English does happen to be your native, you need to attend some English classes and learn how to use proper grammar, spelling, and all that jazz. This travesty made absolutely no sense. It was completely incoherent. I couldn't understand anything that was happening in this...story. Every time I leave a review for something, I'm always blunt and honest. I've written better than this when I was six. That's how bad this is. I see that it's a bit old now, so hopefully you've made improvements. Also, before you even think of posting a story or any piece of writing, you need to proof read and edit your work. Write, but most importantly, REWRITE. Writing should not be rushed. This whole thing came across as rushed. And I personally don't recommend writing in script format. That might make it easier to read for some or easier to type for you, but in my opinion, that's not a good way to write a story.
| Major Mass Spec chapter 4 . 1/25/2013
Well... I'm going to take a wild guess here and say English isn't your first language, or you're about six or seven years old. If the first is true, you should really stick to your own language, as you don't seem to have a very good grasp of English. If the second is true, you are far too young to own a computer and should evacuate the internet immediately. This breaks both the script format rule and author's notes as their own chapter rule, along with being poorly written and nonsensical. I truly mean no offense here, but you should really just take this down. I've noticed that this story is several years old, I'm sure your writing skills have improved since then, and if so it would be wise to erase this story from existence so it is never assosciated with you again.
| Pleaseremovethisaccount1 chapter 1 . 8/31/2011
Is this even a story? It sounds like a badly rushed letter. I'm sorry but this may have to be reported. The spelling and grammar is atrocious.
| defenestrationvictim chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
You can't fucking spell and you know less grammar than a six year old. Seriously, get off and attend English classes.
| LosingSenseofTime chapter 2 . 8/30/2010
"Sommer: Hey Beth, do have for the dance?"
There is a magical thing called PROOF READING. Try it.
I have no idea about Total Drama Island, (what the hell is it?) but now, I know that I don't want to know, because this didn't give it a good first impression.
Good, I just wanted a few minutes of my life. Thanks a lot.
| AngelEyes87 chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
This is truly awful and horrible in terms of writing skills!
Improve it or this shall have to be reported...
| Cattshire chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
That's horrible. Why would you write something so short and suckish on fanfiction?
| GreenEyes aka tutyfrty chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
Each of your sentences in this so called story are almost incoherent. There are words missing from every sentence. What the heck were you trying to do here? I don't get it and it is totally a waste of the any reader's time.
| Freehugs41 chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
Okay, this story isn't good... at all...
The grammer makes little to no sense. "I wish that you would longer on the island"? "Your fearless like it when faced your fear I wish I could done the same"? "Or when you into a paintball fight with Heather"? "It was cool when made freinds with Lashawa"? Those all are incorrectly written, so much that they are near impossible to read. Not to mention all the words you spelled wrong.
On the bright side...er...you didn't use text speak and the story has a plot, to a certain extent. That's about it.
Please either delete this story, or improve this story as much as physically possible. Good luck!
| kikimalfoy chapter 1 . 3/12/2009
"Your fearless like it when faced your fear I wish I could done the same" WHAT? this story to be kind is awful needs work ALOT OF WORK
| I Am The Batman chapter 4 . 12/30/2008
Jeebus. You do know that author notes aren't allowed on this site right? And that you can't rate stories? I don't really get the second and third chapter. Can you explain them to me? Maybe it's just that in the fandoms that I write for, the fanfictions actually make sense, well, to me at least.
And the title should at least make some sense, right?
I also noticed on the first chapter the word "your" and "you're" are confused."You're" is used when you want a shorter way of saying "you are" and "your" is used when you saying something like "is this your pencil?" Okay?
| The Psychotic One chapter 4 . 12/19/2008
I don't even have to be familiar with this category to know that this story is complete and utter garbage.
I make a point to always approach any and every story with an open, compassionate, and understanding mind, which is why I always read to the end. I have a limit though when rules are being flouted with utmost indiscretion and utter lack of respect. Like in your case.
Where to begin. I'm not particularly familiar with the Total Drama Island category, but I always enjoy reading stories from other categories if I hear good things about them and they are written well. That said, you will have no place to attempt bitching at me because I'm not familiar with the storyline. In light of your transgression, you have no place even opening your mouth, let alone publishing this waste of bandwidth on this site.
Chatspeak and script writing are not allowed on this site. Period. End of story, no pun intended. The use of scriptwriting was abolished roughly four years ago, give or take, and your lack of attention to this rule suggests to me that you are either a stupid, inattentive fanbrat, or an arrogant, narcissistic fool who thinks she is above the rules. Or perhaps you're both. Whatever the case, the fact that you have been allowed to get away with this for so long suggests to me that you got lucky and fell through a crack in the system. Well guess what - that ends now.
Your title is pitiful in itself. There is no grammatical sense to it, and titles are always supposed to have each word capitalized with the exception of words such as the, and, of, and so forth unless they are at the beginning.
There are so many grammatical errors in this story that it's almost painful to the eyes, script writing aside.
Chapters of stories should each be about 1,0 words, with detail and plot and actual substance. Somewhere in that range. Not thirty words a chapter.
Altogether, this shameless piece of drivel is almost pitiful, but not quite. No wonder you had Flame Rising on your case - you're lucky he/she didn't review your waste. I'll save him/her the trouble and report you and your garbage to the authorities myself. I and other well-written and well-versed authors do not have time to sift through crap like you and the rest of your posse to look for actual stories of merit.
To the other authors that actually found this useless inanity amusing - what the hell is wrong with you? Have you no shame? No standards? No nothing? This site was founded with the intention of a haven for actually good writing, not to be polluted by ignorant, tasteless, vapid fanbrats and the like.
Have a problem with the fact that I pointed out every genuine flaw in your crap? Don't you dare whine to me and bitch about how supposedly cruel I am - you haven't the faintest clue how cruel I can be. You brought this upon yourself. Deal with it, learn from your mistakes, stop licking your wounds and improve yourself.
Learn from this. Learn to actually write, and don't come back until you do.
The Psychotic One
| Ifab1ndiya chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
Aw you got hit by a spam reviewer aka flamer? Just ignore the hypocritical review! Glass houses? Don't listen to a poor review unless it has ACTUAL concrit to help...
| Blazing Equana chapter 4 . 10/19/2008
you just got a positive rate.