|Reviews for Thanatophobia|
| FaroreRayzes chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
hey, I like this story..!
| emeraude chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
it's very entertaining but one thing pissed me off. don't get offended 'kay? the word God is proper and the word god is common. both have the same meaning but not the same beings. please, if you're gonna write something like this again, use the small letter. please. still, good fic. i'm only replacing my usual names in reviews
| Jenn chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
| Living Chain chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
Ow, ow! Great fic! Only one-shot, eh? Uw... I like to see RevyaX Gig great pairing again... Anyway, this is a good fic!
| XxXTwilight-SinXxX chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
Hah I loved it! I totally think you should write the fic.
| Afficiando chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
Excellent! I like the introspective thought and history you've given to Revya with her phobia. I tend to prefer Revya as a girl due to possibility of a Revya/Gig romance. Admitably, it is still entirely possible to do a romance with a male Revya and Gig, though I probably think of the pairing as female due to the fairytale Death and the Maiden being one of my favorites.
| Rayless Night chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
Long review, sorry. I see a good fic, so now I have to talk about it.
Nice characterization of Revya here. I like the idea that she hates death; it underscores how strong she is, facing so much death in the game. It's also a deeper point of conflict between her and Gig, which is interesting.
I also like how you show the various ways people respond to death - Danette dismisses it, others try to soften it, and Virtuous doesn't sugar-coat. Gig treats it like a hobby. The contrasts to Revya's fear/pain concerning death work well.
There's some good indirect character development here, both in the differences between Revya and the others, but her brief conversation with Gig. They seem to be pretty close (I notice it's "the bed", not "his/her bed") yet there still seems to be some awkwardness there. Interesting.
You also do a good job encapsulating a great deal of time in a short space. You focus on the important stuff, gradually building to the finish, then slow it down at the end with dialogue. Very good pacing.
Concrit: These points are minor, but I'm going to take forever to talk about them because I don't believe in criticizing people without explaining myself.
1. Some minor grammar problems. (Especially, you can take out the "..." and just keep that she remained silent; "..." is really only used in scripts to show that someone's not talking.)
2. Big theme you're working with, relatively small fic. That's not bad by itself (in fact, I think it works great for the most part), but the ending feels incomplete to me. I wasn't sure how she resolved it in her mind - she's going to escape death by never dying?
3. I felt there were a few logic issues.
A. This might be me reading too much into things, but Revya comes from an old-time rural society. To eat, people routinely killed their own animals, and it wasn't necessarily hidden from children. So I have trouble believing Revya first encountered death so late in life. But maybe it was the first death that resonated with her because she wanted the bird to live. Or maybe she deliberately avoided seeing animals slaughtered.
B. "...and Gods can't die". In the canon-path, every god but Haephnes dies, and in the demon-path, they all get it. Gig, as a god, has died three times.
4. I wish you'd addressed the end of the game, where Revya decides to let Gig destroy her soul. That would be death, and she faces it. Considering you worked with the theme so well here, it could have added a new angle.
Anyway, sorry for the long review. I hope it was useful. It's wonderful seeing another good fic for this section.