|Reviews for Collapse|
| CheshireLost chapter 5 . 12/30/2010
It's been two years. You've GOT to finish this!
| Daicha chapter 5 . 8/28/2010
odd story so far
| sylphxpression chapter 5 . 6/13/2009
Someone is totally screwing with his head...
Do you happen to have a plot bunny?
| lyresdream chapter 5 . 1/9/2009
Wow. These chapters are so good, yet I still have no idea what crossovers your using. But still, keep them up, because your writing style is grade A awesome.
| Kaunis chapter 4 . 12/8/2008
I like the story so far, it seems original somehow. I really like it. :)
| Eve chapter 3 . 12/7/2008
The guy who was beating Spidey up was Morlun, right? Poor kid... Nice job, though.
| ShatteredSkiez chapter 3 . 11/19/2008
COOL OUTRAGEOUS man i hope you add mainstream spidey decked out in the stark armor!
| soapfiction chapter 3 . 10/17/2008
Sorry for getting to your story rather late, but I've been busy, and I don't check my secondary e-mail address that often. However, I'll get to it more to check for beta subscribers.
You don't have any grammatical problems that I can spot, so you're good in being very readable. You have good language and structure as well, and your dialogue doesn't condescend. I like that, and I think you should have more readers soon.
I like the idea of a multi-comicverse crossover, but there are a few things that need to be kept in check. The Marvel and DC verses were made to be joined and crossed over, so we don't have a problem there. Even so, it should be possible to weave other comics together, even if, seemingly at first, they wouldn't be compatible in their universes (example: I've seen people successfully weave Spawn and Hellboy together, even though their backgrounds are considerably different. And I don't even like Spawn that much). If you can twist things to your advantage without making the reader feel they've been cheated, you can succeed. Throwing characters from different comics together with little explanation or bad science can anger readers, but I think you have the potential to bring them together in a way that makes sense, or, in a way that readers will find acceptable.
So far, you've stayed in the Marvel verse, and it seems to soon to make any real judgments. I like how you've brought the Marvel Zombies in (another good example of a crossover: read Army of Darkness vs. Marvel Zombies(an actual comic), if you haven't already), and I like how you're telling the story through retrospect and dreams, though you don't need to dig into that area too deeply. To make a long story short: you're doing a good job, but it's still too soon to tell. Keep going, and I'll try to give you notes when I can. Happy trails.
| sylphxpression chapter 3 . 10/13/2008
Phantom readers are annoying. (Those who read Mysterious Ways, I'M TALKING TO YOU!)
I have to say, I've got absolutely no idea who the bloody hell that guy was or how he killed Spidey. Just for the record.
| Lady Suneidesis chapter 3 . 10/12/2008
Well, I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but I like your writing style and I think this has a lot of potential. I'm guessing this is some kind of crossover of all the Spidey universes?
You action sequences are very clear. The reader can almost feel Spidey's pain and injuries. Your last two paragraphs of this chapter were particularly good. The powder blowing away in the night was a very vivid picture.
| sylphxpression chapter 2 . 10/8/2008
That Wolverine guy is so pragmatic.
ZOMBIE Spiderman who knows he's a zombie and absorbs powers? Whiskey tang foxtrot?
| sylphxpression chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
Wow! I'm already just DYING to know what kind of reality trip this is!