|Reviews for Return of the Avenger|
| DragonFire Princess chapter 1 . 12/20/2011
Love the story, Hope you'll uploads the story soon, I want to know what happen next in the story. So Please update the story ASAP.
When will you continue this story?
| goldenXdragon chapter 1 . 5/7/2009
great i luv it!
| keshia-515 chapter 1 . 4/2/2009
| somebodykillme chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
this is a good one-shot but it. needs. to. be. edited! you had sasuke and naruto in character until you had them face to face, then sasuke went way ooc with all the a
and naruto suddenly turned into a female at heart like so:“...Shut up!...I spent have my life chasing after you and all you did was tell me you didn’t care what happened to me, but then you come back march in here tell me you miss me kiss me and think everything is gonna be alright...well it’s not” Naruto said his voice cracking, his eyes brimming with tears.", plus you seriously need to start writing a lemon a day, then every two weeks read and edit them for improvement, it WILL help A LOT, you had the right idea, it just didnt flow smoothly, may i suggest master of the rebels, jelp, and ninjaspoon for examples of GREAT lemons and just plain old marvelous writing in general. other than that, all i see is a few typos which is normal, so... just get a beta, it should solve most of these problems, you've got a pretty decent writing style, you just need experience and lots of it, all i can say is read,read,read, write,write, write.
| WhiteNightRain chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
This was great!you, have some sort of talent.
| yuialex chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
I liked the fic, I really did.
But to be honest the sentence "God will forgive you" did not fit with the sex scene between to men afterward. I'm not religious, far from it to be honest, but I've been raised to be a christian, and homosexually is often seen as a sin. (even if I do not believe so).
other than this, I give my thumb op for this story, the sex was steemingly good.
| Anima270 chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
so kawaii! your still doing you fanfiction 'fortysix' right?
| LetMeBeMyself chapter 1 . 10/6/2008
very detailed *blush*