|Reviews for A Tale In Breaking Spirits|
| missconflicted-t chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
This story was ah-mazing!
| Zordfalco chapter 10 . 7/17/2011
I just read this all at once. Very powerful. Xena raping Gabrielle was a definate standout of other stories I have read. Commends to that. I expected Xena to be easily forgiven because it is in Gabrielle's nature to be so fogiving. Anyone in this world would have cut off her head without hesitation. Good story thank you
| SamHAS chapter 10 . 4/11/2011
Honestly, it does show you're having problems with the last two chapters- there's an inconsistency I think in the writing.
But overall, I really liked this story. This is the person Xena would have been with Ares alone. You really give a great example of "what if", but stay true to the soul mates...
| Nathalie chapter 10 . 3/9/2011
I would give this story a 4.5 out of a possible 5 stars... What can I say, I am a harsh critique (well not too harsh I guess or you would be getting a 4).
Job well done! I just watched all the Xena episodes last year becuase I bought them very cheaply while I was deployed in Iraq...
Anyway, you presented Xena and Gabrielle characterization very succintly. They were very in canon even in an alternate relaity. I have read something very similiar to this about 2 years ago (only in that othefr story Xena had Gabrielle legs broken while Gabrielle was on the cross).
Back to your story, usually I am able to sous (figure) out the villains and even the plot in stories earlier, but you kept your villains hidden from me quiet well. Or maybe for once I was just reading for enjoyment as oppose to figuring out (naw, you actually did keep me in the dark- KUDOS, only one other writer did that to me back in 1996 and the person I had figure out as the villain was subterfuged under an act that completely ruled that person out...or so I thought). LOL, as you can see I tend to digress from whatever point I have been trying to make. So Xena is Xena,totally ruthless (old Xena before her redemption)...but with a little bit of the new Xena (post meeting Gabby), where she is tired of the killing but has to keep doing it to keep up appearances.
It is also nice the way you have Xena save Gabby just seconds away from her being beheaded in the beginning of your story. Even Xena have no idea why she saved her (yea, that half-baked reason about breaking the queen of the amazon was pretty pathetic), and kept her around.
Let's visit the flaws of your story for a little bit. So the sorceress wasnt explained at all (so that just leave holes in the story for a possible sequel in which Gabby & Xena would have some other threats, and the soceress being utilized again, only this time not only are they warned about the possible future harm, but also that they are indeed living in an alternate reality and that they are indeed soulmates from the beginning of time). Next flaw was how the heck did Bato ended up in the cell where Gabrielle was when Xena went to get her to act as a decoy. I had to go back to the prior chapter to figure out who the heck Bato was...but even then, he SHOULD NOT be in the cell with her. Outside the cell visiting maybe, but not in the thick of things when the squirmish began...hence the purpose of guards (that little area could use a little cleaning up to explain his presence better). And since he was brought into the thick of things...he should at least have a little bit more of a follow up on (a little more conclusion to his story anyway...such as the Empress allowed Bato to visit Gabrielle or whatever, don't really care he is a minor character but he felt incomplete to me especially since he was the adopted son of her mentor that just recently died).
Also, I know you stated you rushed the last 2 chapters...I don't know why- but sometimes people just want to conclude stuff. The last chapter was the only one that felt rushed. I know it is hard concluding things...but Xena never did explain to Gabrielle why the change of heart for Gabrielle to just jump and accept Xena's proposition. After someone killed my entire nation that was under my rule,then order someone to rape me while they watched, then they themselves raped me a little while later, there is NO WAY IN TATARUS would I be taking any jobs/positions or ANYTHING FROM THEM! Forgiveness coming so soon after all that has gone down between both of them with no explanation or TRUE APOLOGY from Xena seem a bit daft...so I guess I will have to drop my loftly 4.5 to a 3.75 out 5. I sorta hate it when authors rush to finish things and the conclusion is ok but does the build up of the story itself injustice. Sort of like those Harlequin romance novels that build up for 180 pages then the rush to conclude it in only 3 pages!
Your work is still good and 3.75 out 5 is actually 75% so doing good in comaprison to what I would given others. I usually dont comment on stories but out of the 1000s of stories I have read (literally 2-3 thousands in the past 2 years), yours is probably only the 7th I have commented on. And I give detail comments and even once I even gave suggestions for a possible sequel).
Keep up the good work in your writing...there are always critiques out there but very few people have the talent to write...and even less of those people with talent post their materials for other people subjective opinions..
No idea what Pam's ppms mean but I looked it up on a urban dictionary online and it suggested either pre/post PMSing (which in and of itself is an oxymoron...cuz how can you have pre-pmsing...wouldnt that be just normal...and post-pmsing would mean you are on you period- LOL...but they use the pre or post pmsing to mean being *ithcy).But since your critique is private person without an account like myself...there is no reason why they would come back and check this website of your for any reason unless they favorite it in hopes of you doing a sequel *grin* Which I will be doing...but I probably wouldn't check back again after a few weeks from now.
| SDM56 chapter 10 . 12/10/2010
Wonderfully written. I enjoyed your story. ]
| jannam chapter 10 . 11/3/2009
didn't expect it to be so good considering Xena was a savage uncaring b* but i did enjoy it...u just got to love and admire Gabrielle's strong will...
| DandelionKing chapter 10 . 5/5/2009
I am sad that you have declared chapter 10 the end. It felt abrupt, like there could have been more... I enjoyed reading every chapter though. This was very unique. One of my favorites. Thank you for posting.
| HAZMOT chapter 10 . 10/19/2008
I trully enjoyed this to the very end. Man, I suspected her advisors were not as they seem. They were easily drawn to power and wanted Xena's power all along. It's a shame though, this is short. I love angst and this was simply the angsties. Is that a word? hehehehe. Anywho, I'm glad you had Xena converse with the Sorceres; that added a whole new level to the mystery and danger. Gabrielle was certainly a enigma to Xena and providing a solid ground for her to anchor too. I really wanted to see how the boy would fit in too. But in the end, Xena finally trustd her true feelings at wanting to change and have a new friend to confide in. It was lovely and action packed, especially at the end, and Xena took on the guards to save her friend. I hope to see more from ya. I too need to finish my stuff and this is one of those stories that inspire me also. :D
| HAZMOT chapter 8 . 10/15/2008
I don't think that's the end of the attacks on Xena's so called pets. We know Xena is for the most part hated as a tyrant and certainly this person or persons are taunting Xena or why not just right out and attack her, instead of taking it out on others she's close with or intimate with? I certainly was a little surprised that Gabrielle killed the man out right in front of Xena. But considering what she's been thru, not to much phases her. Gabrielle has a strong will of her own and Xena is drawn like a moth to a flame. The pity part coming from Gabrielle will certainly rock Xena a little, but she may not take it so well. After all, she is the Empress. :D
| pam chapter 8 . 10/14/2008
| pam chapter 6 . 10/13/2008
I continue to like this story, ppms
| HAZMOT chapter 7 . 10/13/2008
Ah, the plot thickens. I kind of think that it's too easy for Xena's advisor to figuire out that all her special servants are being killed and no one else. It seems to me that only the one's really loyal are being killed. It makes no sense to kill her Master and then the servants that Xena had special interest in. Anyway, as Xena said before, she could have easily killed them herself. Why would the advisors keep Xena's interest somewhere else? Hm The mystery is intriguing. Gabrielle would be the perfect bait and if someone wanted to kill Xena, why wait so long and now reveal a plot against her? Oh, do hurry. :D
| HAZMOT chapter 6 . 10/11/2008
It seems master Bai was the only one to tame the beast in Xena. Once he was dead, there was no stopping Xena's demons to let loose on Gabrielle. Even stranger was that Xena knew that Master Bai would not commit suicide and even worse that someone was very skilled at sneaking up on him and killing him. I think without him, Xena is looking for some solice in Gabrielle. Whether it be to tame her or beat the crap out of her. Xena seems lost, but by no means losing her skills as and Empress. Dama seems to have a keen eye on Xena and not wanting Gabrielle to distract her. He seems to know just what to say to keep Xena at bay for the time being. Gabrielle's definitely a mystery to the Empress and without Master Bai around, she's seems to be looking for something new to interest her. Bato seems to be inclined in Xena's close knit trustees, but even so, she doesn't want to look weak in anyone's eye, especially Gabrielle. :D
| HAZMOT chapter 4 . 10/11/2008
Boy, you really are into Gabrielle whomping. hehhehe Anyway, this is a not relenting Xena and so very her as a dark Empress. I don't think there will be any lovey dovey out of this one. Xena certainly wants to tame Gabrielle as the Amazon Queen. It shows a much deeper and darker side that is intriguing. Xena has a will to contend with and she doesn't mince words or actions in getting her way. I think Gabrielle is about to experience why Xena is the Empress and that there is no escape from her torture or will. :D
| pam chapter 4 . 10/8/2008
keep up the good work, and pms ty