|Reviews for A Secret Little Game|
| The Violent Tomboy chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
Me likes this. Me likes this very, very much.
Style was lovely, ending was lovelier.
Brilliant how Ino took over Kabuto's body in the midst of the chaos. She should've have him do a strip tease or something. I'm guessing Jirobou and Kidoumaru got killed in the end...poor guys. I really liked Shikamaru and Tayuya's characterizations the best though.
| Flametongue chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
This is, by far, the best Shikamaru/Tayuya-centric story I've read since Hokata Yui's Shadows and Notes. While the sound ninjas' rather out-of-character concern for each other at one point here might peeve some hardcore fans off, I still find it very credible. Stories where people who have mostly been decipted as so-called "Bad people" suddenly show emotions other than selfishness and anger are always like a fresh breeze, as long as it is done artfully and you managed that part splendidly.
I also feel i should comend you on pointing out just how much of an advantage open landscape would be for someone like Tayuya when using her doki demons. People who manages to grasp logical points like that seem to be scarce nowadays.
I do admit I'm a little disatisfied with the ending but that's simply because I'm a rabid fan of Tayuya, you still made it good enough even for someone like me.
While I know you wrote this as a request, I still hope that you might one day write yet another story with these two characters in the center.
| Nemrut chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
That was a brilliant and realistic story; the mission, the problems they encountered, the characters everything was believable.
When I saw the first describtion of the kekkei genkai boy, with blue hair and him coming from the land of water, I was sure you ade them find Suigetsu but even if it wasn't him, the ending was maybe even better.
| Kitsune chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
Wow. Just awsome.
| Liashi FNA Sora chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
This story is amazing, and I just had to tell you that.
The twists, the turns, (I really didn't see that last one coming, XD) the quality of writing... superb.
| Anon chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
This deserves more reviews than just five. This story is superb, a fresh breath of air in a fandom that's so bloated with garbage.
| aondehafka chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
A superb story. The things I liked best about it aren't things that should be put into a review that someone might read prior to reading the story, as they would spoil too much. The thing I like least is that, so far, it only has four reviews. What the heck, Naruto fandom? Get your collective rear in gear!
| Lellian chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
I...really shouldn't be so pleased with this because you kept the Otonin alive, just to kill them. But you've won me around anyway. Git. :p
I am sorry about the wait for this review - my first week of uni has just finished and this is actually the first free morning I've had where I haven't been all hungover and exhausted. But I certainly wish I'd had time to read this earlier!
I am very, very jealous of the way that you take a very radical universe like the Naruto one and make it so believable. It is a very clear and whole picture that you present - and you did the undercover mission a darnsight more well than other people have in the past. Normally, it's a cheap excuse for seducation, but this was...beautifully planned. The layers upon layers of mission goals, the way they had to adjust to slip-ups or changes in the situation. You write shinobi thinking and acting the way that trained fighters would.
Which brings me onto characterisation. You have all of them down without exaggerating their distinguishing features - you write them in a very elegant, economical way that also manages to be raw and real and RIGHT. There was the moment, just before Tayuya left the boys to what they all knew as their deaths, when Jirobou corrected her language...actual heart pangs, I promise you.
The subdued emotional bond between them all was written wonderfully at that moment of parting. No not subdued...subtle. Because it was there and strong and beautifully written, but not made dramatic. I think that was one of the best scenes of its kind that I've ever read.
I enjoyed the fact that it was Tayuya-centric, or at least from her viewpoint, particularly with the way you worked her past history with Shikamaru into it. The almost cyclical nature of it all is thought-provoking, starting with Tayuya's mindset at the beginning and its slow climb towards where she ends up. There was a moment where you drew parallels between the chase after Sasuke and her own seemingly irrational actions. Her wistfulness at the end, wanting to 'see what it was like'. That moment, along with her leaving Kidoumaru and Jiroubou, ranks ridiculously high on my list of best. moments. evar. (forgive my lame sense of humour.) And it's definitely top of my Otonin stories. Seriously. Once I finish this review, I will be reading this again and - probably - re-reading it later on.
It hurt that you killed them, which meant it was written well, and I was plaintive at the end - I almost wished Shikamaru HAD healed her, but I think that would have almost cheapened the entire thing. Again, going along with how well you write the shinobi mindset, you write the actualities of life very well. In short: life isn't satisfying sometimes. Bad things happen. And you, my dear, had that down.
I should really stop rambling. However, you know my email address, so always feel free to contact me for a chat - I haven't been doing any writing really due to a combination of computer troubles, a summer of working very hard and starting uni this week, but I generally keep up to date with my emails.
Again, thank you. It was a wonderful birthday present. In October. :p
| The Yamato chapter 1 . 10/8/2008
Excellent job. This story made me cry, and you should be proud of that. It takes a LOT to make me cry.
| kazekagesama23 chapter 1 . 10/7/2008
Very nice. I liked the closer look into the possible human side of Tayuya's personality. Very thought provoking.
| Hinatafanboy chapter 1 . 10/7/2008
I liked it didnt explain really how the sound 4 survived the first encounter but I liked it alot. Probably in my top 3 favorite Naruto One-shots.