|Reviews for Professor Burbage and the Potions Master|
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/8/2012
:) lets go... CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY till we see the sunnnn i know we only nent but letspretend its looove
| hobytla1 chapter 28 . 4/20/2012
I read this story in the past three days and I just want to say that I totally loved it! Reading the Harry Potter books, I wished that we could have learned more about what wizards learned exactly in a "Muggle Studies" class entails. I thought any teacher who would teach "Muggle Studies" would need a lot of courage, which is exactly what you portray in Charity. The Muggle Studies lessons you described were really funny, and I think capture the spirit of the books. A lot of the little background details you added about magical culture (shapeshifting clothes, muggle jokes, the interactions between the portraits) were cute and creative while feeling like they fit in Rowling's world.
You did a good job developing the character of Charity Burbage and her romance with Snape. Usually when a minor or OC female character has a romance with a guy character- especially a fan-favorite like Snape- the writer can get accused of writing a Mary Sue. I liked how you made Charity someone genuinely appealing who I believe Snape could have fallen for- but she's also vulnerable and confused in a lot of scenes. I also like that it's her ability to bridge the gap between communities, not any extraordinary magical powers, that makes her special. You also did a good job showing how exhausting and stressful it must have been for Snape to play double agent so long, and how brave he really was.
The ending was uplifting and really sad. I loved the memorial scene that you described and the speech about not forgetting the sacrifices made against evil. I see that you have another story about Charity- so I'm hoping maybe Snape's not gone for good? Or maybe she finds "A New Prince" in someone else? I will have to read it to find out!
| N.Mirz chapter 23 . 3/13/2012
I read this chapter ages ago. like two years ago. and tonight I just remembered it,out of the blue,and had to,just had to, read it again. I doubt there's a finer snape romance on the whole internet.
| Nyausi chapter 28 . 11/8/2011
(I'm chilean, so I'm sorry if my english is bad. I hope that you can understand it :P)
A few days ago I started looking fanfictions about Charity and I found one where she and Severus were a couple, I loved it! But there are only one in spanish and I had to explore another language options.
"Professor Burbage and the Potions Master" was the best discovery! It's a lovely history, interesting and inspiring (yes! I'm thinking in write the second fanfiction about them in spanish :D), the last chapter made me cry!. I couldn't stay without leaving a comment.
Now I'm started to read "Charity Burbage and the New Prince" soon I'll write a comment for this history.
My apologize again for my english.
| Pearl chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
This was excellent! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it,thanks so much!
| SerenaPotterSailorMoon chapter 28 . 4/28/2011
This was an amazing story! It made me cry, laugh, go ooo and awww. I used to think of severus snape as a mean, cruel teacher, but you've showed me that there was a part of him that is soft and actually kind. Good job and plz keep it up!
| Deritine chapter 14 . 3/26/2011
I think I've figured out what bothers me about the retelling of canon fact (beyond previously stated). It makes Harmony sound like she is Muggleborn, when you earlier stated that she was pureblood. To make her seem like she is, maybe you could be more like 'she much preferred soccer because of a, b and c but quidditch did make her nostalgic' for example. Or 'Hogwarts curricula seemed much more extensive than her education had been, but ...'
And wishing for more Snape scenes. :D
| Deritine chapter 13 . 3/26/2011
Hah! Jokes on them that rabbits have an atropinase and can, in fact, eat belladona without suffering ill effects. Though probably it should be avoided anyway. O.o
| Deritine chapter 10 . 3/26/2011
I like the scene with Severus and Sirius, though you can probably just call him by name. And like I've said before, people who are reading a fanfic have almost certainly read the books (or at least seen the movies) so explaining canon/basic world ideas like animagi is not necessary and interrupts flow.
The other scene is interesting, too. But for both I would recommend deciding if you want to have the story be semi-omniscient or not. If yes, then put more scenes of other people in here from time to time. Otherwise it jars a bit. If not, keep to one perspective. Which is sort of an intriguing way to go, really, seeing the books from the 'other side' of a normal witch. Comments like her thinking Harry has PTSD induced hallucinations and her not knowing who to believe is interesting compared to other stories where everyone knows everything since the reader does, too.
| Deritine chapter 9 . 3/26/2011
The story seems to have really picked up in quality these last few chapters. I do think it seems a bit unexpected, though, how they suddenly like each other. One night of drunkenness probably wouldn't totally crack the ice. Certainly kissing him (no matter how chastely) seems a bit too much. Possibly since there isn't a ton of description here. This story in many parts seems rather like a sketch or an outline. Which is daunting considering how long it already is lol. But perhaps if you ever get around to re-writing it as you say, then the scenes could be longer. Potentially hacking out redundant-to-the-book scenes about what is happening could keep it from being cumbersome. If you can gather the willpower to be so mean to your poor story. O.o
| Deritine chapter 1 . 3/24/2011
This chapter has promise, but some issues. Firstly, you kept spelling decoration as "decoyration" for some reason. Perhaps you added it accidentally to the dictionary of your word program?
Also, the side comment/author note style things are extremely disruptive and you should get rid of them. Either it is information that is not really important, or you should work it into your narrative.
And lastly, speaking of narrative- this chapter was sort of... in need of editing. It was a good concept sketch sort of chapter. Personally I find direct quoting on the book to be annoying, but in cases like this I can see why one would- the Sorting Feast will be the same regardless. Writing about it? Maybe not necessary. You can probably assume that people have read Harry Potter if they are going to read a fanfic.
Conversely, you didn't spend enough time on the interactions with Chastity and the castle residents. That part of this chapter could well have been several chapters and 10 k words. This is the chance to build up the character and make us invested in her (as it stands, she's borderline Mary Sue). Scenes in present, non-passive tense would help to get rid of that feel. Examples- instead of actually doing the scene in the Great Hall, using tea with McGonagal to have a conversation where the deputy head asks how the new teacher is liking Hogwarts and she could mention the Sorting. That way you get interaction and a feel for the character. Also, the part with Peeves was good, but was in passive tense. The part with Snape was 'told' versus 'shown'. Better would be to actually describe the look better. I presume this is the main pairing in the story, let the reader know that by making the interaction seem important just by how you describe it versus saying at the end 'this would be one of many'. Intense words in describing Snape and her reactions (positive, negative, etc) would help there.
I know I sort of ranted, but I only did because I care. It has such promise. On to next chapter!
| Analie Janes chapter 28 . 3/12/2011
Amazing story! You really have written it amazingly! All the motions were played out beautifully and I can't wait to read more in the sequel! It actually made me cry..
| Analie Janes chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
Awesome chapter! This is a really good story, and I can't wait to read more! Exactly how old is Charity? and how does she know Charlie Weasley? I can't wait to read more about Snape's and Charity's relationship! :)
| emcee31 chapter 5 . 2/19/2011
I've often wondered what a Plimpie was. Thanks.
| Very Small Prophet chapter 21 . 1/1/2011
Miss Burbage, channeling the stupidity, recklessness, and immaturity of Harry Potter is no way to win the affection of Severus Snape. Stomping off into danger out of simple frustration marks you as an utter Gryffindor and therefore entirely unsuited to our cautious Slytherin Potions Master.