|Reviews for I love you|
| Ipod12 chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
| SubspaceStar chapter 1 . 8/13/2010
cool it's very interesting so far! :D
| Kiluca1228 chapter 1 . 3/19/2010
Can you please write more. This story has a lot of potential
| Ripuku chapter 1 . 11/18/2008
Ohh, you have to continue :3
I think it is very good, and Kyle's depression is very realistic. Watch out for run-on and fragmented sentences, as those seem to plague fan-fictions sometimes. And, don't be afraid to throw in detail. You know, describe what Kyle sees.
Ex.) Kyle didn't want to move. It hurt too much. Everything hurt. He sighed and wrapped himself in the cold sheets, wincing at the rough fabric. He lay there and stared at the blank white walls of his room with equally blank eyes.
See? It takes the readers right there with the characters and is more interesting. :) Don't take me wrong, you're doing great, but some authors forget to allow the readers to really get in depth with the story and develop relationships with the characters. Descriptive and memorable characters will ultimately create stronger reactions from your readers.
I hope this helps! Good luck!