Reviews for Huilen's Story
Ava Sinclair chapter 7 . 11/16/2008
Cover your ears...all covered? OK, good.

*fangirl squeal*

I wasn't expecting the Cullens to show up for a while so to see Alice and Jasper was delightful. The intertwining of my favorite characters into this story that I've grown to love is so much fun.

Poor Huilen, so out of her element. And yet I hope something in this strange new world is a catalyst for her to find a little piece and happiness herself. I worry though, that it will get worse before it gets better. Huilen has never had to share Nahuel before - he's all she has. As he grows to care for the Cullens, as I suspect he will, she may feel she's losing him.

I saw this on Twilighted; keep posting chapters there too. I've recommended it to a few people. It takes a while to build up a readership but I think that you will.

OK, sorry about the superlong review but one last little bit of constructive criticism...I really loved your pacing before. This chapter went just a bit fast for me, and I understood that because it was events of BD and most of us know the story but still, I really enjoy seeing things through Huilen's eyes because her viewpoint is so very different. I would have loved to have her reaction to Bella...that must hurt, seeing that Bella lived and was loved while Pire died in agony and alone except for her sister.

Love the story so much - continue!
Ava Sinclair chapter 6 . 11/11/2008
I apologize for being so consistently late with my reviews. This story deserves so much more feedback than it gets. It's frustrating to see such great writing overlooked. I loved this chapter so much - the way you keep layering Huelin's character. It took a while to warm up to her but I think I'm beginning to love her. I most definitely respect her. She has such a passion for her people and her history, and despite what she does to live, not knowing any other way, she has a conscience and reverence for human life. I very much felt for her during the encounter with Inez. She is trying so hard to keep a whole history and people alive, but even one as powerful as her can't stop the ravages of time. Please keep writing; this story is amazing. By the way, I thought Huelin giving Nahuel the spoon was rather telling.

Did you join Twilighted by the way? I thought I saw you online there, but can't find your story.

Favorite Line: The old man rose from his chair, leaving it to creak back and forth without him in it, as though it were agitated by his loss.
shooting-stetsons chapter 6 . 11/9/2008
ack! I still love this story! update as soon as you can!
Ava Sinclair chapter 5 . 11/4/2008
How I completely and utterly loathe Joham. If you continue this story into and beyond the events of BD, I'd love it if you write what happens when the Volturi show up looking for him. Joham at Jane's makes me smile. Although Jane's not really any better then he is, I suppose. I guess I just find her more sympathetic because of the whole burned at the stake thing.

Sorry, tangent. Anyway, I wonder if Huelin will ever come to realize how much Nahuel really means to her?
Ava Sinclair chapter 4 . 11/4/2008
I'm so behind!

Another very well done chapter. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again but what strikes me the most is the tone you've struck with this story. Huelin's voice is so genuine; like you know the culture intimately and that is so impressive. Her story is so very authentic and it really should have more of an audience.

So much going on in this chapter...Cedric, Huelin's grandmother, learning English, Nahuel's murderous jealousy... I did not expect Nahuel to strike out at Cedric like that but it makes sense. I saw him as this vulnerable child and in a way he still is, but at the same time he's half vampire and he's the person Huelin raised him to be. She's not one to be sentimental or to hesitate at doing what must be done and plus, she's all he has.

I wonder if anything will ever penetrate the armor around Huelin's heart and soul. Her existence is so lonely and cold.
shooting-stetsons chapter 5 . 11/2/2008
d'you think that you'll be including the part of Breaking Dawn in this fic? I would like to see that...
HornLove chapter 3 . 11/1/2008
I love how you did your research for the background knowledge of this story, it is very superior for a fan fiction tale.

And your vocabulary is infinite! I love the new words that pop up.

Good story!
paris tokyo chapter 4 . 10/31/2008
i like this ff its so well written very good work
Ezra Pine chapter 4 . 10/31/2008
This is a fascinating story, I'm excited to read more. I like that you have actual knowledge of what/who you are writing about instead of just making things up. :)
avidrkfan chapter 3 . 10/22/2008
Unique idea. This is a lot different than what I expected. Update soon.
Ava Sinclair chapter 3 . 10/21/2008
That was close; I did not expect Nahuel to attack one of his own relatives. Of course he couldn't have known, and it was his instinct, but I'm so glad Huelin stopped him. She never would have forgiven him for that.

I feel more and more for Nahuel. Huelin is understandable in her actions but Nahuel comes across as the vulnerable, sympathetic character. I was so happy that there was that small moment of bonding between him and Huelin when he rejected his father.
Ava Sinclair chapter 2 . 10/18/2008
Despite the fact that I understand Huelin's feelings towards him, I feel for Nahuel, not knowing love at all. He is still a child, albeit an unnatural one. They both seem so lonely and lost in this strange existence.

I wonder what will happen when Huelin sees her grandmother; can't wait to find out!
Ava Sinclair chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
I think this story is so well done and highly original. There are so many stories about the main characters and yet all the smaller, side characters are so interesting as well. You've done a remarkable job with Huelin's story. What strikes me is how different the tone is from Leah's story, which is important because Huelin and her world is about as far away from Leah and Forks as you can get. Still, not every author can make such a clear transition in their writing. And how did you learn all these Mapuche terms? Did you research them? Hats off to you, girl. And yes, the birth was realistically gory and graphic but anyone who could read Breaking Dawn should be able to read this.
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