|Reviews for Master of Time and Fate|
| SilentOmega chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
"He was unsure of why he had done this but some how he knew it was necessary."
Who needs plot or logic or anything really when magic has all the answers. I'm not ever sure why you bothered to add that little bit of summarization when you could have just said "Magic all of a sudden made it so that Harry was separated from his super evil not-friends and alone in a house with his obvious soulmate (insert cookie cutter character here)." That way there would be no need for the horribly written chunk of narration (definitely not story). I guess it doesn't matter if the whole thing goes like this: NARRATION-CLEVER USE OF UNIQUE PLOT DEVICE-MORE NARRATION-MORE NARRATION DISGUISED AS INTERNAL DIALOG-REALIZATION OR HOW PERFECT COOKIE CUTTER FEMALE LEAD IS-MINUSCULE AMOUNTS OF STORY-AND FINALLY YET MORE NARRATION
So there you have it, not so much a story as a butt load of narration and some ingenious use ever unique plot device "for no reason discernible to anybody at this point in the story (character performing said action included) or explained later on, somebody has this super awesome idea to do something completely random that just so happens to be the exact thing needed (and in this case considering how old the artifacts are something that nobody else in the past has done before)to push the not-story ahead so we can get to more narration."
All in all I would have to say this story could use some work. A good way to avoid narrating everything is to tell the story through actions. And please try to come up with something better then "magic made me do it"
| Jeff chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Nice story, I like the idea that if Harry is not with Hermione it is more likely for him to be with Luna rather than Ginny. JKR/Dumbledore do go out their way to keep Hermione away from Harry. I am too much of a Hermione fan to accept bad behavior from her even if the actions are Ron's fault.
I was pleased to see everyone eventually 'settled' with Harry and Hermione's friendship healed and even Ron and Ginny relatively happy. It's hard for many people to break the canon ships without really destroying someone.
Of course after 3rd year I wondered why Harry still considered Ron a friend.
| dead feather chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
This could be really interesting if this was developed a story. Now it felt as if I was reading a summary.
| old-crow chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
This is a fun epiloge to the Potter stories. Luna is a fun character to write.
Thanks for sharing your story. Now, back to work on Sisterhood.
| Laughing Cat chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
Hi, this was a very interesting story. I thought that it was well thought out, and I greatly enjoyed reading it. Your epilogue, however, I felt needed work. It took me about two days to wade through it, since everything in it was told rather than shown. If you expand your epilogue and change it into showing what happened rather than telling what happened, you could have a great multi-chaptered story. But if you want to keep it as a one shot, I would recommend either using the epilogue to show one scene in the future or shortening it to a summary only a couple of paragraphs long.
| Bobboky chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
| Flyguy25 chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
Another outstanding fic! You have become the only author that writes one shorts that I will read. Keep the stories coming.
| Fibinaci chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
I liked that Harry mainly saw his own failures, but maybe he mightve noticed what Dumbles was up to more.
| karlii chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
great job for a one-shot!
You have a ton of good ideas, and could make this a many-chapter epic, if you wanted to!
Keep up the good work!
| slashslut chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
brava! this was a very enjoyable story, especially with luna playing a central role. im a bit bummed that harry forgave hermione though. sorry, personal bias; i can't stand her:)
| notpobhonestly chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
take it from a one-shot chap, it has the makings of a good re-do story
had fun reading it anyway (any news on enlightenment)
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
Shame Harry couldn't save Dobby.
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
Interesting and certainly better than the official epilogue.
It's "Peverell" not "Perevelle".
| sweetgirl23 chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
Another great fic. I loved the interesting twist of the hallows doing more. Very original to only change Hedwig being killed. To this day I can't stand that in the book Hedwig dies. I like how Hermione earned Harry's forgiveness and Harry not pay for their parts in the damage of Gringotts. Harry and Luna were believable as a couple. This was a very good fic. I always look foward to seeing something from you. Keep up the great work.
| Aealket chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
What an interesting idea, go back in time and not change anything but Hedwig.
Thanks, I hope more ideas decide to 'play' with you