|Reviews for Absence|
| Jayrin Paige chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Great story, loved how you mentioned how they all in some way missed Roxas!
| Rubie chapter 1 . 11/21/2008
There are almost no words for this. I'm left speechless in the absolute best way possible. I can hardly recall how many times during the play of KHII that I would just set the controls down and just stare at the screen. I would always end up thinking about how sad it was for Hayner, Pence, and Olette. How unfair it was for them to lose their friend.
Also, this story paired with "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls was almost too much.
You had me in tears at the end.
| 13loves8loves9loves6 chapter 1 . 11/11/2008
aw poor Hayner... ahahah what the crap ya know i think that was the most depressing part of KH II...the face that the Twilight gang totally forgot Roxas but like...didnt...this is making me sad ahahah AWW! with the pictures i think that's the saddest thing ive ever heard hahahha poor Hayner leaning on someone who isnt there hhahha aw *tears* the little wrist bump! wah...oh man if that had happened in the game i think i would have cried like woah hhaha WAH! *cries* hahah this was really cute and sad and col
| Rutina chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
You must think I'm a stalker.
-sobs- DAMN for making me cry. I cry at that EVERY TIME. And i mean everytime.
| LupinandHarry chapter 1 . 11/8/2008
Aw this was sad.. :(
Poor..everyone. This was great, especially the end
| Clouffie chapter 1 . 11/3/2008
Thank you for making me burst in to fits of "Roxas deserves to live" tears. No really, thank you. I love missing Roxas angst and from Pence and Hayners perspectives are the best. Love this piece.
| cranberrysoup chapter 1 . 10/28/2008
Tragically beautiful. It really has that "Twilight Town" feel, especially with Hayner experiencing what was likely one of Roxas' primary emotions through the start of KHII... I get this sense of bright and dusty and just a little bit empty... and really, wonderful job, this one touched me a great deal.
| Jess chapter 1 . 10/27/2008
umm, that was just..amazing!
And now i'm sitting here bawling my eyes out ):
| Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 10/22/2008
Kinda sorta implied Hayner/Roxas, indeed. But unrequited? I don't think so... :)
I usually write so much longer reviews, but I just spent about an hour on the last one and I really need to get some sleep. I'll try to be brief and noteworthy, but if I get carried away I do hope you'll understand.
I don't like that the third paragraph of the first section is a sentence fragment. While you're working with the idea that his logic is breaking down when he gets here, the sentence itself runs together and doesn't make all that much sense. It's hard to piece it together without a subject (that's not an implied one, I mean) and I so dearly want to. I think the ideas in the sentence will carry your meaning without you doing the extra fragmentation. A good risk, but unnecessary.
Section 2 rocks. I love the confusion but immediacy of Hayner's statement. I didn't get what Hayner was doing with his hand in Section 3 the first time, but upon reading it and, you know, actually thinking about it, I totally get it now. Not your fault, mine.
Section 4 is very beautifully done. Fix nothing except for perhaps "started out arguing", just for flow reasons. A lot of your dialogue tags go on for a lot longer than I think is necessary sometimes, so watch out for that.
Section 5 is also delightful, almost poetic in nature.
In Section 6, Olette is under-developed. I get a great Pence in 3, but in 6 Olette gets a shot and she's not giving that one reaction I need to make her real for me. (That reaction should take place after paragraph 3 in this section.) In this section, I also uncover the ages of your characters, which was tough to figure out until now. The tone didn't fit until I had that information.
In section 7, "was it's own sort of wisdom" needs to lose the apostrophe. Change nothing else. It's...change nothing. :) Unless you feel as if you must, of course.
It's a beautifully done little series of scenes that nevertheless connect so admirably. This is the kind of narration I want to do, but never make myself slow down enough to pull off. You make it effortless.
Watch your tags, watch your word choice (the shorter and simpler word might yield a stronger result sometimes), and keep trying for some subtle stuff. You have subtlety in here and I love that in a piece, so keep working with it. :) I caught some wonderful imagery that tipped me off to things to come.
Guess this ended up fairly decently-sized after all, eh? Hurray!
Thanks for a truly lovely little read.
| SparkyNZ chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
Ohh, that one's sad. I really do like it. There aren't enough decent sad fics in the world...
| Ninny-na chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
Poor Hay Hay. D:
I felt his pain. D:
This is written really well. :D
| kate avalanche chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
Holy fuck, girl.
Hayner's emotion in this is so intense, I'm in actual, physical pain right now. I feel like my heart's all twisted up in a knot, and my eyes sting like i'm about to cry.
That was brief, but amazing.
(And now I'm vaguely intrigued by the idea of Hayner/Sora...because I adore Hayner/Roxas, but...Sora *is* Roxas...kind of?)
| Versace Frolic chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
Oh, man. The ending is so perfectly sweet. It's funny because I was literally just writing a Hayner/Roxas scene. Granted it's not as sweet or perfect as this, but it's totally a random instance of the universe working in mysteriously coincidental ways.
| Maymer chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
Pefect! Utterly perfect! You made me remember that I actually really like this pairing. And the angst! Twas glorious!
| Zume Rokkata chapter 1 . 10/13/2008
You and your Hayner/Roxas.
Loved the bit at the end with Sora, and the stuff with Olette and Pence.
Lise told me about this, and all she told me was "Olette keeps buying four ice creams, Pence..."
I mentally finished off "... keeps taking photos of empty space and Hayner feels like something's missing.
... This is before I'd even touched my computer...
Wonderful, as always.