|Reviews for The Lost Sister|
| Taylor Harkness chapter 5 . 3/2/2009
Strange, but a good story. It is a bit rushed, though and the dialogue can be kind of confusing to read at times, but nevertheless, good story.
| Laura Harkness chapter 2 . 10/20/2008
hello. this has potential and forgive my nit-picking but your grammar could use some work. you might try reading your stuff out loud to yourself before you finish it. just a thought... but, for example:
Jack went infront of her and looked at her;
that is a bit clumsy, don't you think? you use the word "her" twice very close together unnecessarily. for example, you could've written instead "Jack turned to face her" or something like that. also, you frequently use "your" when you mean "you're".
just some thoughts... beyond that, i'm intrigued by the plot!
| XxBadWolfxX chapter 2 . 10/16/2008
Love The Story And Its Only Just Started Please Write More Soon