|Reviews for A New Dawn|
| TheGleeker chapter 1 . 10/21/2013
This is great keep going
| FlameThrower81 chapter 1 . 11/23/2008
"Please tell me what you think so far..." -How pathetic...
According to your profile page you're clearly an adult, but this peice of rubbish states otherwise...or were you on something when you wrote this peice of crap?
You have no talent for story telling, nor are you even capable of good grammar...indeed you are lazy, though at least you are honest. But let me ask you this: Why write if you hate grammar? Do you just enjoy messing up good books and good movies that much?
The only thing that you, as a lame-brain, have succeeded in is annoying someone who appreciates this movie/book enough not to trash it's good name. You are pitiful!
The other reviewer was far too kind to you. You have no intension of working on this, nor do you really care. You are undeserving of a good review.
The only good use I could find in this peice would be to blow my nose on it; but then again I wouldn't want to dirty my nose.
Take your crap off this site. It's clear that the only thing you're trying to achieve is the ability to say that you've written at least two fics...
If you're right of one thing it's the sad fact that you CAN'T write!
| TravelingThroughTime chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
Sorry for the wait, I've been busy! Oh I was excited that someone else posted a time machine fic other than myself. Thanks for asking me to read it; I had fun!
Okay, you've got the ideals of a great story here...it depends on how far you wanna take it. If I were you, and I didn't have it yet, I'd download Microsoft works for spelling errors and stuff. I'd also work on my paragraphing.
But what you mainly need to do is put in more details here. It's a good plot with Alex and Mara preparing themselves for parenthood...and I think Alex is in character so far; he'd totally be a supportive husband and nervous dad! lol! I don't know how you may do on Mara and Kalen because they're seldom mentioned here at this point...but if you really want to keep all of them in character, watch the movie again. It always helps me. And like I said, re-write this and add in more details in those empty places. There are a lot of plot holes here, it wouldn't take much to fill them in; then you'd have a wonderful story! Personally I like it and would love to see this turn into something.
And thanks so much for supporting my Time Machine Chronicles by reading and reviewing it. I have some more chapters being worked on so it may be a while...that's because I'm working on a Constantine fic right now...but keep an eye out. Thanks for supporting my other stories too. You are sweet for that! lol!