|Reviews for A Raven's Broken Wings|
| helpfulfred chapter 1 . 1/24
If I was beastboy I would have just told her off cause I'm against hitting women even if it is terra but still good story
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/1/2014
| Drakius Marethyu Damnati chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
| SpencerGilly chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
Loved it too much. Can't put it in words. I'm sorry. Alright, i'll try. IT WAS AWESOME! yup, that pretty much covers it. lol.
| Pasts-Hormony2 chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
This story tis a mix of fluff and gooey goodness. Very nice!
| vid player 94 chapter 1 . 4/16/2009
Oh... He BACKHANDED HER! WHO HO!
| Anonymous 666 chapter 1 . 2/21/2009
oh that was so sweet. brought a tear to my eye. Always on the PS3.
| Raven of Alaska chapter 1 . 11/18/2008
Beast Boy and Raven forever! Beautiful Terra right for using BB like that. Oh well, guess Raven gets a happily ever after after all.
Raven of Alaska
| Toriano.Flacko chapter 1 . 10/25/2008
daMN... you stole my catch-phrase...
Well, besides that, I think the whole "BEGONE, BLONDE BYOTCHE!" was a little too little. Terra should've been kicked in the face a couple of times and left to Mas and Menos if you ask me... but your' doin your own thing, and thats good. no continuation, neh? wow, you mean Rae was super-emotional in this thing? O.o. Maybe I need to get my eyes checked. Does anybody really think this would've gone right any other way? Well, maybe with Terra's immediate death(don't ahte her with the passion of a thousand suns, she's just so easy to hate), but then they would need a secluded area to hide the body. No rocks, either. Yeah, I wouldn't have forgiven her either, Aqualad done right by himself if ya ask me.
this was good, didn't see that many mistakes, really. But then... aw, neva mind...
| 13LuckyWishes chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
My two favorite pairing are BB/Terra and BB/Rae. Anyone else see a problem with that? I think you wrote Terra too harshly, and you need to remember that Raven can't feel too much or things a-slopde. This is just me, but if she let her emotions go on a rampage like that I'm pretty sure half the tower would be rubble. Other than that I liked it, and I'm probably just being picky. Keep it up!
| avearia chapter 1 . 10/14/2008
Hiya. Am I the first reviewer for this story? I hope so...
Just a quick warning before I start- my reviews tend to be long winded and contain way too much critisizm. Please don't get offended by this review. :)
Okay. about the story; it was cute. I'm a total supporter of BBRae, (though, occasionally other pairings are cool too,) this one's my favorite pairing. And it was a good idea, too, thinking about how Raven would be if Terra came back.
However, I had a few problems with your story. three main problems, actually.
The first problem is actually more of a 'clarity' thing. In your fic, you often clumped together words into long paragraphs. this is okay, but sometimes confusing in some spots, like when you have multiple people talking in one paragraph. It's not a definite rule, but it is common practice among authors to start a 'new paragraph' every time someone new speaks. Instead of having Raven say one line, and then beast boy the next in the same sentence, break them up. That way, in each paragraph, the reader knows that all the lines in the paragraph are being spoken by the same person, and there's no confusion. it helps clarity.
Okay, second thing. I know you tried to keep Raven in character, but it could have been a bit better. It seems as though you start out with establishing Raven's feelings, saying that beastboy and Terra seem to be close and she resents that, and feels hurt that BB loves Terra instead of her. Normally, this would be fine, but not for Raven. Because of her powers, Raven tends to keep ALL her emotions under control as often as possible, so there's very little chance that she would be letting herself feel so much self-pity. (at least, she would try to contain it, and not make it so blatant.) She doesn't just refrain from SHOWING her emotions, she also tries to not HAVE emotions. This is easily fixable in your story, by going through it and toning down the strength of the emotions she shows or feels. Show her struggling to hide her emotions.
Thirdly; (and this bothered me even more than Raven,) was Terra. First, you don't mention how she "Came Back." This didn't happen in the series, so it needs explination in your fic. Secondly, it's as though Terra's actions don't even come into play here. She betrayed the group to slade and went on a rampage to the city, so why do the Titans accept her into their group, and why would she be able to date Aqualad like that? They would have reservations about her, and most likely be suspicious.
Thirdly, you portray Terra as an angry witch, pardon my words. In the show, she was very docile and only got angry over things of great personal importance (Like her uncontrolled powers, which obviously had brought her great hardship in her past,) so she wouldn't go off sprouting insults like hate-mailers on the internet. She also is a superhero, and would think twice before doing something immoral like using one of her friends to get back at a boyfriend. She also wouldn't Slam on Raven for being quiet like that.
Just because Terra is the opposing love interest, doesn't mean that you have to make her into a 'bad guy' in order for Beast Boy to choose Raven as his girlfriend. Doing so is called 'bashing' and it's highly unappealing to most readers.
Okay, getting away from the critisizms, there were some things I liked. You didn't have any big spelling or grammar mistakes, and the piece had a lot of emotion in it, which I imagine you wanted. You explain emotions and thoughts very clearly and strongly, which is a good thing to have. And your story's cute in several spots-I especially liked the 'shakespeare' part. And lastly, my favorite part, you put in a lot of discriptive detail. it's something that's good for the story, it helps the reader visualize what you want them to see. Many lines like "Egyptian Vase" and "Slight Glow" were cool and awesome visual effects. please keep that up in your other works, I loved it.
All in all, it was a good story and fairly well written, but could still be improved. Please keep writing, I hope to see more from you in the future!