|Reviews for Akira, Kankokage of the Three Mountains|
| darksnider666 chapter 4 . 2/14/2010
i know you have had this story done for a while, but reviews are still always nice right? so far so good. i really like akira, he's not cocky or an ass even though he is potentially extremely powerful (i don't care what he says, potentially he could be better then garra and kakashi) so...awesome so far.
| Lord of the Mosquitos chapter 37 . 7/15/2009
That was fantastic. thank you for writing such a great story, and I look forward to the sequel. Honestly, when you dropped that bomb at the very end of the epilogue it sent tingles all over my body. Bravo!
BTW - I found an little naming error in the last chapter that you might want to fix. I will send it to you privately (its nothing big, but it needs to be changed).
| The Insufferable One chapter 37 . 7/13/2009
And lord Gale Loves you back, kanko. (No homo.)
I was a little surprised to see the new title.
Journey to the Heaven's Gate, huh?
Although, I have to say, I am always very sad when a story ends. Knowing that, sequel or not, this particular story will never have anonther chapter...just feels devastating to me. But I know there will be a sequel, so my pain and saddness are dampened and washed away. _ Remember, Lord Gale adores you. (no homo)
| OmegaDL50 chapter 9 . 7/11/2009
Hello again, just wanted to address a few more things before I leave a full review once I finish this story.
1) Naruto seems somewhat out of character in the story, addressing Akira with the "Sama" honorific for example.
Naruto has never addressed anyone in the original canon with this. Not even Tsunade,Not Jiraiya, NOT even the 3rd Hokage, so why would he address a complete stranger with respect when he doesn't even do so to his closest friends.
2) Along the same lines Chizome in chapter 8 addresses the Raikage with the same "Sama" honorific.
To address someone as such is a sign of respect. Such as when you address a King or Feudal Lord. Why would Chizome address the Raikage with such formality when he does not even like him and intends to kill him. Unless of course he is saying it in sarcasm (as in to insult his status).
Otherwise you need to address this as such. Be as detailed as you possibly can when you write your story. Never leave the reader to assume anything. To do so would make your story even better and overall much more enjoyable and entertaining to read.
| OmegaDL50 chapter 6 . 7/11/2009
It's an interesting story from what I've read so far. I'm probably going to offer periodic reviews based on my current progress in the story.
And I just read up to chapter 6 so far.
1) The man who run's Ichiraku's Ramen Bar is named Teuchi. Teuchi along with his daughter Ayame are two people who run the business, there isn't anyone named Ichiraku who works there as both stated in canon (BOTH the Manga and Anime can confirm this as a reference)
2) Is there a reason for Akira's unusual attraction for women, Or is this something you made up for the sake of the story?
3) Is there a reason for all the underlined text in this story? Do any of those particular words have significance at all?
4) The knowledge of the Kyuubi is supposed to be a S-Class secret, meaning the information is not to be given out. It is strictly on a NEED TO KNOW basis. So how does Akira even know this knowledge, unless Tsunade told him of this.
I hope that portion is explained, especially considered the fact that the Kankokage being a foreign ninja not affiliated with Konohagakure, so how is the Hokage supposed to be able to trust an outsider with this sort of information that is supposed to be a S-Class secret for the village.
Especially when this information could easily fall into the wrong kind of hands such as other foreign shinobi villages or even Akatsuki.
5) While I understand Akira can make Chakra Rings. Okay good this is fine. However How does he have understanding on how the demonic chakra for the Kyuubi even works enough to even make a ring for Naruto? The Chakra for a Bijuu (tailed beast) is most definitely different then that of those of humans, especially since the power Kyuubi's chakra is supposed to be infinitesimal compared to that of a human's natural chakra reserves. The seal on Naruto's stomach allows him to tap into this pool of demonic chakra. However how does a object such as a ring not linked to the seal that Naruto has allow him to store this "Demonic Chakra" without the Kyuubi's interference. I'd understand if it allowed Naruto store his own normal chakra reserves but not the Kyuubi chakra.
I hope this is clarified.
I'm enjoying this story so far. If I find anything else that does not seem to be explained I'll comment along with my review for future chapters.
| PieWasHere chapter 37 . 7/11/2009
Epic! That's about all I can say :D really well writen and awesome, look forward to the sequel.
| kirbmaster1990 chapter 37 . 7/6/2009
Your story was great! It was a good refresher I read all of the long Naruto stories and its been so long sense I came to a long good story I hope u continue with a part 2 that would be alsome! _
| Aotrs Commander chapter 37 . 7/2/2009
Thank you for the entertaining read. I shall indeed be on the look-out for the sequal. Good work.
| The Insufferable One chapter 8 . 6/28/2009
And so Kira is introduced! Kanko, I have told I love your story more times than I can count, So I doubt I need to say it again. ;) I will continue to be your devoted fan and friend. Believe it.
| gumbycan chapter 29 . 2/25/2009
Meh you love being over-the-top but your good at it at least. You shouldn't care what I think anyway.. but you didn't really go too far this episode with well see former critique and the back story was good. hopefully you can finis your story with its 40-50 chapters i guess you'll make I'm a fellow student and understand the delays of school work to relaxing time. small bit of advice for next chapter if you are going to use another one of your created characters can you describe them if not in passing in small details or a full description your bad guys are good but I can only really remember appearance of kira, blood dude(chizune?) and tetsuma. of the top of my head.
| jesseternal chapter 29 . 2/17/2009
poor neji got his butt kicked at least akira and naruto showed up in time
cant wait for the next chapter. i hope you update again soon
| NiebieskiLis chapter 29 . 2/17/2009
The ending scene is similar to chunin exam but in place of Hinata now is Neji and in place of Neji theres good story good job
| gumbycan chapter 1 . 1/26/2009
only naruto fan-fic I found that I like. First found it on Naruto-wire. wish you would improve your character physical descriptions because since your evil kabal is so giant I often loose their images in my head. sure all the characters are better the they one were but at least you defend it and if it's read from the point of view of the original chapter you started with it is very good. Also I enjoy the character's with konoha-like jutsu's with the shadow dude, Testuma(whatever can't remember spelling), and bear-dude. I really wish lordgale would just get to the point of finishing off his attempt to create Kira already i know it's hard to know if he is dead/disintegrated. I'm also glad your not pushing naru/hina crap really hard it's better being subtle but not the point of this story. Also if you could resist the urge to add more eye techniques, it's enough now. overall 8.7/10 my current #1 naruto fan-fic keep up the work.
| Phrozen07 chapter 23 . 12/23/2008
wicked job on this chapter
| Lord of the Mosquitos chapter 22 . 12/7/2008
These last four chapters have been absolutely AMAZING. I mean, it had me on the edge of my seat holding my breath, and I couldn't turn away. I don't know how you do it, but you have mastered the art of hooking someone into your story.
Overall, this a beautiful, exciting, intense story that I personally think is better than the manga and anime. Congrats on such a great story, and I hope you keep writing.