|Reviews for Sacrifice|
| Helyous chapter 4 . 3/27/2014
Hm... This seems deep. Let me see if I got it all correctly, Seiya couldn't stand being divided between Shaina and Athena and broke down, leaving the girl all by herself. Shun left their house after his... outbreak. And now Marin is sleeping on top of Leo temple's marbles doubting of her sanity as she speaks to a ghost. Oh boy, now I feel bad for these kids. How much time has been skipped between this and Compassion exactly?
P.S.: I believe "Sloth" would be a better title than "Laziness".
P.S.2: I can't wait for the "Lust" chapter if these follow this deadly sin pattern :P
| Thrudgelmir2333 chapter 4 . 11/30/2011
Great chapter! Though I would still like to know just what lead Aiolia gave Marin. Though it sets things in march and mobilized the characters, hidden hints like the one Aiolia gave Marin don't usually have the same impact as the ones that are directly shown. This is because hints that are shown usually get us, readers, to think about what is going on and try to uncover things on our own.
Anyway, once again, the characterization is smooth and believable. Sometimes, I don't know whether it is harder to be faithful to canon characters or stabilizing original ones, so I can appreciate your hard work in working well with both. Also, the small bits of Shun and what happened to him were well-placed, giving the story more content without affecting the flow or pace.
Finally, your depiction of Marin's relationship with Aiolia is good. It's probably the most common and consistent character-shipping in this fandom but to find good one-shots about it is still an uncommon treat.
I'm guessing that Sacrifice has been concluded in the sake of Compassion. Then again, I've joined the site only after this chapter was placed and I only started to follow you a little while ago so one never knows. Nevertheless, I'll start reviewing Compassion as soon as I can. As I've said before, I already read its chapters, but not with a critique's eye rather than a fan's one.
Finally, a more general review. Considering that Sacrifice and Compassion focus on the SeiyaxShaina(SxS) and ShunxJune(SxJ)(and the following disasters that strike this pair), I'll have to say that, though I felt like you dedicated a lot more effort to SxS and that you've achieved chapters with better quality and a lot more emotional depth with it, SxJ still sparks more interest. This may be just because of all the mystery around it and the fact that it is centered around Shun, though. However, both main stories are well written, well balanced and very interesting. I'll keep an eye on any of your future projects and on what BronzeAndromedaShun may write about next.
Keep up the great work, for it sometimes can be hard, but very rewarding:)
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| Thrudgelmir2333 chapter 3 . 11/28/2011
Sorry for not having review in a while. Exams have started and I've been studying Assembly language.
Once again, this is a good and very well written chapter. I have to admit that you have a gift for first-person narration. You managed to pull off Shiryu's characterization, making him sound wise and experienced. To tell you the truth, I've already read all the chapters of Compassion so I already have a good idea of how you show him in your stories. Fortunately, you did not dissapoint and this is of not because writing Shiryu's personality can be hard.
It's another sweet chapter with very well depicted emotions, narration and interactions. I really can't say much for OCs (don't ask me to judge OCs for I know how hard it is to mantain a consistent personality and pass on to the readers the idea of how we really depict them:)) but I guess I have nothing on Shiryu's kid. If anything, he contributes to the story by, once again, hinting what happened to the characters in your story's future.
Keep up the good work. I'll try to review the rest as soon as I can!
| Thrudgelmir2333 chapter 2 . 11/22/2011
I agree with Jenny in that this chapter has enough elements and quality to be made into an entirely separate story. I strongly recommend that you invest on this. I found myself very intrigued with Shun's situation and with how his friends and family are dealing with it. Also, the subtle hints about how everyone else is doing and how things turned out for them in your story are great! Also, like the first chapter, it has really sweet and heart-warming scenes and is very well-written.
Also, don't worry about me not being into SeiyaxShaina. Like I said before, you got me past that.:)
PS: I actually have the same problem you have when it comes to gender perspective. This is partly why I've been focusing on a majorly male cast in my story with only Pandora and a few OCs that have only been recently introduced. Also, I wouldn't really recommend my story. It's very shonen and action-oriented and with a writing style completely different from yours. But if you still want to check it out, be my guest:)
| Thrudgelmir2333 chapter 1 . 11/21/2011
Very well written story. A good depiction of the characters and how they are feeling is definately a strong point of it. I've came here on advice of bronze andromeda shun who made sure I knew how great a writer you are and I'm not dissapointed. In fact, I'm pleasently surprised!
To tell you the truth, SeiyaxShaina was never a pair which caught my interest. However, the quality of this one-shot really pushed me beyond that small prejudice and I no longer care about it. I'll try to review your other one-shots as soon as I can.
| bronze andromeda shun chapter 4 . 10/31/2011
So cute! I love this couple, and I miss Aioria so much! Please hurry and update!
| bronze andromeda shun chapter 2 . 10/31/2011
Ack! Shun, what's happening to you? Please tell what happens next!
| Jenny DeVic chapter 4 . 7/22/2010
Simply beautiful. I know you were basing the chapters on sins so I was curious how you would handle this one. It is very touching and sad. The Gold Saints are unfortunately dead, and its nice to see a fic that accepts them as gone while moving on (although hopefully Next Dimension will find a way to bring them back)
Marin is well portrayed here. Especially in the end. I read this quite a few times because its a very poetic piece.
| Ms. Audrey G chapter 3 . 11/1/2009
I find your writing to be exquisite. Not only do you portray the characters personalities quite well but you capture their emotions. Though I must admit, I was more hooked to chapter two that concerned on Shun and Hyoga. I am hoping to read the next chapter soon.
| Jenny DeVic chapter 3 . 10/13/2009
Good use of vocabulary. I wasn't sure how your switch to the first person perspective would work out since it is a little more difficult to add description. However you did well, and I feel confident that you are blessed with a great vocabulary. I did have one very minor but important issue with chapter 3. You wrote that Shiryu's eyes have completely healed, but make no mention of how that came to be. I mention this because you dedicate your story to the tragic characters of SS. Shiryu's sacrifice of his vision during the series to save Seiya and Shun was, at least to me, one of the most tragic episodes and hardest won victories considering how great a warrior Shiryu is. Anyways, take care.
| Smily90 chapter 2 . 9/28/2009
That's very good! (sad,.. but I loved it!)
It's new see Shun with a "wrathfull-soul" and I really liked Hyoga way to do and yopur way to describe him.
Could you do a whole fic about it please? p
| Jenny DeVic chapter 2 . 9/28/2009
Really good chapter. I liked the dialogue as well as the part where Shun changed. The ending was sad, but it was also proper. To be honest, you seemed to have more than enough plot and materials to turn chapter 2 into its own story rather than a short one.
| Yue chapter 2 . 9/28/2009
Very good story! I love the description of characters and their feelings... You can't let us at aurora execution without knowing what happen next ;_;!
| Lady Sto-Helit chapter 2 . 9/28/2009
I love your story. Very original and well written. Cant wait to know what happens next!