|Reviews for Broken Things|
| Moon Prynces chapter 1 . 9/23/2012
That was...something. The phrase that came to mind was more like, "That was some deep shit." But then I'd probably start cackling over such a poor way of describing things and...
Okay, anyway! That was quite amazing to read. It was definitely dark, but very real. I mean, things did fall apart after Sly 2 and I was crushed at the events that transpired at the end. It was so... Being so attached to the characters made you feel their pain, you know? And then Sly 3 just kind of jumps forward in time, not letting us really see the anguish over what happens to the characters directly after the incident. It's easy to say, "It must have been hard," but seeing it puts it to another level. I think maybe you should have added Hurt/Comfort to the genres for this story, because it does lean that way quite a bit.
The writing was pretty great. I mean, I did get a little irritated at so many ellipses being used so close together; It just took away from the emphasis you were trying to make with Carmelita's confused, perturbed thoughts when you used it too often.
I liked that it was from an outside perspective of things, instead of using Sly, Bentley or even Murray. Carmelita's view on things was interesting to see because she's so conflicted on what to do. Not to mention it added to the slight mystery in the beginning as she's adding up the pieces to the theft and commenting on how unusual it is. I loved her reaction to Sly and the entire situation of him being in her apartment. It was clumsy and awkward, but actually really natural. Sometimes we write characters a little too surely, as if they just are who they are and would automatically react this and that way to such predicaments. It's like saying I'm such a cold and tough person so obviously I'd maul a guy trying to take advantage of me, but truthfully those situations would still catch me so off-guard I might not even be able to process it in the moment. Maybe I'm rambling.
Right, so Carmelita's internal conflict about what to do with Sly and this glorious opportunity to arrest him...it was so amazing. It wasn't all harsh with black and white mental arguing like, "Should I do it? I should. But wait, he's... Then again..." That kind of writing is too much like a pro and con list to me. It was simple lines like, "Carmelita stared at those cuffs for a long while" that I loved. Not to mention it made her so much more dimensional, to be unsure of what to do. She seemed so much more like a real person instead of some character. I liked watching her become a little subdued at the unusual situation, that even she could get so uncomfortable.
There was also all the work you did on Sly's character, turning him from the charming, handsome, lovable master thief we all know into a depressed -almost fatally so- one. It really made you feel for him and all that's happened to him and his friends. And it wasn't something that a simple hug or few words could fix. I'm kind of depressed just thinking about it all, and remembering how you wrote him. The way she describes his tears, unshed but still so obvious...it makes me want to cry just reading it because I know what that feeling is like. When you get your audience to feel for characters like that, then you're doing something seriously right!
I'm glad you didn't try to force romance in there; it would have been so misplaced. But there were those lines that reminded us of there being something between the two. When Carmelita wrapped up his arm and talked about being electrified, even she acknowledged something. And then you managed to end it on such a nice note, with some kind of hope. Mentioning the ten second start was really smooth and subtle, really nice work. Sly's recognition was cute, just because it seemed like she was kind of teasing him there. And of course, that absolutely beautiful line of, "...but when she was lonely at night, wishing someone was with her, she would think of his soft lips on her own and then things would be okay for just a little while..." It's almost too much, like that one line has more romance in it than most stories on this site! It really stuck with me.
So, as my review (or is it just praise?) will finally come to a close, I'll just say your title was perfect. So many broken things in this. From the window at the crime scene to Sly "breaking" into her house to Bentley's...broken legs to Sly's broken spirit and the broken up Cooper Gang... There was so much meaning behind that short phrase. It was absolutely perfect. I love this story, though it seems so depressing at first. You wrote it wonderfully and so I'm gonna be reading this again in the future.
| TheStabilityProject chapter 1 . 11/25/2010
PLEASE WRITE MORE SLY/CARM! This fic was amazizazing!
| Spexatar chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
This is one of my favorite one-shots. A look on your profile, and I can tell that you haven't written in the Sly fandom for some time. But I think if you made a longer story on the two it would be great. You put them in character, yet you made then your own. It was an exceptional medium-depth one-shot, and it be a nice prelude to a full-length, and depth story. Like one of the other reviewers, it was very gripping, and I loved the parts talking about how haunting his smile was, and his possible attempted suicide. Also when you said Carmelita "gestured vaguely". And lastly when he said how much her help meant to him, and how he was "as receptive as ever". Those are the spices of writing, and you use them well. If you've ever heard the song "We Laugh Indoors" by Death Cab For Cutie, this story reminds me of it. Anyways, great characterization and details. This was a haunting, gripping read, a "diamond in the rubble," as Emmit Smith would've said.
Amazing job, really.
| simpsonman956 chapter 1 . 6/28/2010
Wow, this was a really gripping read! A bit dark near the middle, but all in all an interesting look into the two's relationship! I can tell you really get them and you really have talent. I can't wait to see what you come up with next for these two!
| J-Rob chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
This was wonderful. I really enjoyed it. I'm re-playing Sly 2 for the umpteenth time, and I wanted to read something from the Sly fandom. I'm glad I found your story within the first few pages of this section.
I hope you write some more about another incident with Sly and Carmelita. You really brought them to life for me. It was great imagining this situation unfold. And I love Sly and Carmelita's relationship. I enjoy them, I really do. _
Thank you, again!
| yesimadramaqueen chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
:) love it.
| gengar58 chapter 1 . 11/7/2008
Like the Sly stories - perhaps because I know the characters better, PI?
| April Cooper chapter 1 . 11/3/2008
This was a great story. You weaved such a spell around me I couldn't stop reading till I was done.
Write another soon. I can't wait to see what you create next.
| ninjazephyr chapter 1 . 10/27/2008
that a good start but please keep writing!