|Reviews for Away from The Sun|
| neo metal chapter 3 . 10/26/2013
Oh my gosh the suspense!, will you ever continue this because this is amazing.
| Star Splice chapter 3 . 4/11/2012
i need to now if mephiles finds shadow!update..please?
| Darkchaos chapter 3 . 7/31/2010
Crazy old soon!
| Kindra Mckleen chapter 3 . 6/18/2009
While the story is a little depressing, I'm glad that Shadow is back in the game after a long rest:D I can't wait to see what happens in future chapters!
| SlyShadow13 chapter 3 . 5/30/2009
yes you updated thank you so much. Tails grandson wow that's... so awsome. anyway great story and Tatiana meet Mephiles ... just wow and i will stay true to my word as well
| SlyShadow13 chapter 2 . 4/15/2009
No don't get rid of it. I finally found a story that has my attention and that does't last that long. I'm glad that I found this story so please don't get rid of it. I'll review every chapter and that's a lot from me( this is now the longest review I have ever done and I just keep making it longer oh well :)
| Unknownlight chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
A vampire below me expressed all the criticism that I could ever come up with, so I'll skip that section.
This is a pretty good idea! I can't wait to see Shadow's reaction when he finds out that Iblis won after all.
Update soon please.
| Dark Maelstrom chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
Interesting idea. I wanna see where this goes. Update soon!
| StaminaRose chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
hmm.. ill be interested to see how this fiction turns out. ive never really liked Silver (i just think the only male hedgehogs should be Sonic and his Rival, otherwise theyll just keep adding more and more) but Blaze i always liked. So i wanna keep an eye on this.
On another note, here comes my friendly criticism (lets have a go at avoiding the mistakes that made my two Sonic fics Suck! :D ).
Obviously, i dont yet know your complete writing style, but if this chapter is any indication you need to work on your description a lot. especially with the material you have to work with, a post apocalyptic landscape and all. it really should take a few paragraphs to explain the setting here. with the right amount of description, a piece of work can really be fleshed out to a satisfying level too, i usually go for around four thousand words a chapter but i know this is just a starter chapter.
a semi related note is that if you want your story to read as best you can, try and keep away from using scene breaks as much as possible. obviously when your actualy changing locations or two other times then you need em, like the switch from Blaze/Silver to Mephiles. But you had a break simply between them entering a building, and being inside a room in it. In those cases, it often just makes the story kinda.. jerky in its design.
it doesnt take much to write them walking through some broken corridors and stuff, and a lot of the time it can work to your advantage, building the mood or even putting in bits of interesting lore or something.
Anyways, ill see ya next chapter to see what this grows into :)