|Reviews for The Trip|
| janet1982 chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
this was o good one)
| XxSupernaturalXxFreakXx chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
*gasps* bad boy Greg! awesome! i love it!
| dramione12 chapter 1 . 3/13/2009
| gregalicious chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
that was awesome
| happyharper13 chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
1. I can totally imagine that introductory scene actually happening on CSI! Major lol. It definitely reminds me of the intro scene from 'Big Shots.'
2. Once again, you are clearly a very skilled writer. I'm quite impressed with your characterization and description, as well as with your grammar. It's always nice to see a fanfiction story so well-written. You are definitely now one of my favorite new writers!
3. Special kudos for your descriptions of nonverbal stuff. It gives the story more depth and paints a much fuller picture. Plus, you didn't use easier, more standard nonverbal descriptions (the hole I always end up falling into) like 'nodding' or 'glaring.' 'He knew the restrained amusement was reflected in his face, could feel Detective Brass' eyes burning into him' is so much more interesting!
4. I really like how you made this more understated. It could have turned into a more strung-up multi-chap fic, but you kept it at one, which I definitely think was the right decision. The ending is ambiguous, which is a nice change. Personally, I thought it was way more thought provoking just because you didn't try to bring it all together with another romance scene.
5. My one complaint is that you should watch your use of commas. It feels like just about every FF author does the same thing, so I can't really blame you for it. Nonetheless, you definitely joined like ideas together with commas when they weren't the correct mark of punctuation. While sentence fragments, run-ons and the like can definitely be useful in creative writing, don't go overboard with them. Keep in mind using what you're modifying and try to use semi-colons when appropriate. Semi-colons can be used a lot more liberally than commas, and there are a lot of places in this story where you could have used them instead of commas in order to make sentences more grammatically correct.
Great job overall, and I can't wait for your next story!
| CartoonxZero chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Greg fake tripping on acid is tons of fun. And Nick fell for his little trap!
I love it, keep doing what you are doing :)
| Blatantly Jennifer chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Extremely cute. And totally Greg.
| key-to-life chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
that was awesome. lol trust greg to accidently take LSD!
| Snyggvelito chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
I like your work so much! This one put a smile to my face, very cute indeed!
| seether79 chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
That was great; really cute ending :)