|Reviews for At First Sight|
| DreamShadower chapter 1 . 11/20/2008
Your really good at writing. Especially playing out the chareacters so well. *nods*
| Sunder the Gold chapter 1 . 10/22/2008
Artful, that's rude. We're not paying Dezo, he's doing this for free. And since he has to find his own motivation to write these stories, of course he's going to flucate from time to time. He's done so before, so this shouldn't be a shock.
Besides, having read his profile page, I'm not surprised that he would give us a short story centered on Hiram and Opalneria. Indeed, I'm happy to see it. What is GrimGrimoire without the rest of the cast? It's not like anyone else is writing about them.
Also, I found this short very enjoyable on its own merits. It was intriguing and refreshing to read about love-at-first-sight from the perspective of a character self-aware enough to wonder at the whole thing logically even as he's being washed away emotionally. If Chartreuse were in any way sensitive, I imagine he might have been caught in such a contrast.
It is likewise refreshing to see a young man conscious and conscientious enough to keep mindful of the various complications and potential pitfalls of his situation. I also notice that this only lasts as long as Opalneria is at court - once she leaves his familiar territory, he finds he doesn't have the slightest idea what to do.
I like the advice his mother gives him - loving, highly intelligent, amused without mocking, and feminine. Though usually advice comes from experience, so I wonder whom decieved and kept secrets from her in a past relationship - or did she witness this happening to someone else?
I do believe she had already thought of the whole plan before they spoke. But telling him everything would be demeaning and highly ineffective, doing much more harm than good. So she merely helped him work through it himself, trusting that her boy would realize on his own what he needed to do if she only prompted him a little.
If Hiram is a better-rounded Chartreuse, then his mother (as you imagine her) reminds me of Lillet. And I suspect that this is a queen who insisted on personally raising her children and being part of their lives, instead of leaving their rearing only to the castle help. Hiram would not confide in her so easily otherwise. (I do wonder about the king-father, though.)
Though I'm of course looking forward to the continuation of The Making of a Family, I certainly wouldn't mind seeing Dezo conquer his difficulities and write further installations of Hiram's adventures with Opalneria.
Now if only I could convince him that matchmaking is not necessarily the Devil, and consider a Bartido/Margarita installment to nearly complete the picture of GrimGrimoire's future. I should write it myself, but I've already got other projects to (not) do.
| Artful Lounger chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
Eh, not bad, if a bit boring. Try to stay with what people are looking forward to instead of putting up a one-shot and stalling for another week, that's all I'm saying.