|Reviews for Effects and Side Effects|
| Tsamoka chapter 34 . 11/26
Good thing Dumbles in getting what coming to him. I've had a lot of fun reading this. Keep up the good work! :)
| bananaananas chapter 18 . 11/23
I hope you read this. (I'm reading this story for the second time, I didn't finish all the chapters the first time I believe. My computer crashed)
your take on the animagus transformation is unique and fun, but flawed. the marauders were able to keep up the transformation indefinitely. Like Wormtail being a rat for 11 years.
perhaps the female to male transformation could be shorter while the other transformations would be long term?
because of the human to human transformation without being a metamorph is different or something?
it would make more sense than having to focus all the time... getting over a hurtle with the animal transformations to make them permanent until the animagus decides to change back, but the human to human animagus transformation is ok being on a "timer" of sorts. he wouldn't have to think about it, but he wouldn't be able to keep it up more than a few hours and would transform back if he fell asleep or something..
great story btw, I love it.
| TrainzStoffe chapter 34 . 10/29
Lovely story! I have now read the entire thing, front to back, in a couple of days. Interesting premise and well executed. I'd love to see where you're going with this! A couple of things to note:
- You don't have to apologize for chapters being "late". A fanfic chapter is never late, Nor is it early. It arrives just as the author planned it. Or something :) If you were writing for money I guess it would be different, but any reasonable reader will understand that real life happens. And lack of inspiration. etc.
- You are somewhat sloppy at times. There are misspellings and repeated words here and there. A quick once-over by a beta reader would do wonders for reading quality.
- Some of the arguments seem re-used, with almost identical wording. I doubt it'd be noticed if you haven't read it all in a row...
- And a huge positive: Your story and writing has an innate capability to evoke emotions, both anger, sadness and joy. Incredible! I've read a _lot_ of fanfic, and this is one of the best in that regard. The scene with Hermiones grandfather? Insane, I was shouting at my monitor!
Hope you are well and that you can find some inspiration and time to continue this epic.
| Bill chapter 34 . 10/24
This is a great story very well written though kind of a slow start. Its been over a year and a half, will you be finishing this story? Hope to see an update soon
| Karou WindStalker chapter 33 . 10/19
Here's hoping your muse returns.
| Karou WindStalker chapter 2 . 10/17
Here's hoping your muse returns.
| Graybear32 chapter 34 . 10/1
Its been almost a year since your last update. I just found this and have read it over in the last three days a very good read despite some minor spelling errors. Looking forward to a new chapter.
| Aries Christensen chapter 34 . 9/8
Is this abandoned?
| Simianpower chapter 30 . 8/28
Huh. After 29 chapters of nearly hour-by-hour, blow-by-blow details, you skip forward an entire MONTH? And not a lot happens in that month compared to previous individual days? I'm really confused. I'm glad you're finally speeding things up, but at this late point it feels really artificial. This story really needs a thorough edit. There's a 7-8 star (out of 10) story buried in there if it gets edited, but the raw version is around a 4. 400k words for 2 months, then about 5k words for the next month. Smooth out all the advancement over the entire summer, and cut down the repetitive details (like explanations of the magical world to all and sundry).
It's very uneven, especially the OCs who ALL, invariably, are totally cool with the magical world no matter the fact that every single one is first exposed via combat. You've written a believable evolution of Hermione. Many of the rest are ciphers in canon, so you can write them how you choose. Unfortunately, you've written all of them as unmitigated bitches who repeatedly, repetitively say that they think Harry is awesome, but also love hitting their "love" right where it hurts and calling it "all in good fun"... except when he hits back.
As for the fight that took up 70% of this chapter, and I just skimmed, it doesn't even make sense! If you have ROE involving no lethal or permanent attacks, the only way it makes sense is to have the other team ALSO have ROE of no reviving allies. Otherwise it just encourages permanent solutions. And the whole "You won't always have good information" is just bullshit. These are schoolkids, not SAS or MI-6 operatives, so they should be ENCOURAGING the kids to not go in without at least a basic idea what they're facing. The whole chapter was exactly the opposite of what it should have been.
Also, please realize that Harry and his team are now far, FAR better trained, equipped, and supported than any group of Death Eaters. That's the problem with training-fics. If you train up the hero and/or support team to any reasonable level, especially with special forces added in, then they're already so far in advance of a bunch of rich, spoiled, old pureblood bullies that there's really no point in continuing because they'll wipe the floor with any adversaries they come across. As your group has already done three times so far. Just call it a victory and move on. At this point, anything further is just to up your already ridiculous word count.
I've decided not to continue with this story. I'm going back to Black Princess Ascendant, which is better written and more stable, and the characters make more sense in their actions. (I.e. they're not all bitches for no reason.) I wish I could say I enjoyed this story, but I continued it because it was like an ongoing train wreck: never quite bad enough to make me turn away (until now), but also not exactly fun. By chapter 5 or so I figured I'd spent enough time that I should give it a "fair chance" to get better, but it kept stumbling over the same issues over and over (by the way, lookup the differences between "too" and "to"!), and every chapter except one or two has been as aggravating to read as it's been entertaining. I can't think of any other story this long that I've gotten this far in while at the same time being this annoyed by it. That's why I say it has strong potential after a serious edit. Cut it down by 30-50%, make the characters' motivations and actions work in harmony (i.e. do the girls like Harry, or do they just want someone to take their fears out on?), do a grammar-and-spell-check, and cut out the inconsistencies and extraneous characters and you'd have a great story here.
| Simianpower chapter 29 . 8/28
These girls are fucking bipolar. Harry should ditch them all and just date Kate. At least she's halfway sane.
Oh, and I get that the goblins made a 10-person bed, and the elves clean the sheets whenever someone... uhh... dirties them. But where did they even GET those sheets. It's tough enough finding sheets for a California King!
| Simianpower chapter 27 . 8/28
That was fun. :) Very good chapter.
| Simianpower chapter 25 . 8/28
Well, the pace picked up. Finally. So that's a plus. But the continual bitchiness of all the women is really awful. Hermione in particular loves to dish it out, to someone she KNOWS isn't used to it and can't defend against it, but she can't take it. All of Harry's girls except, maybe, Padma and Susan, are horribly mean to him. Abusive, even, albeit less so than he's used to. Or maybe it's just what you focus your angsty writing on. I don't know. But even with the additional action I'm still skimming chapters.
| juan chapter 34 . 8/28
good thing my girl harry story will have alot of sex on it and fast updates unlike others who support the rules of almost no sex in stories here not me thank god their's a site that allows unlimited sex scenes
| Simianpower chapter 20 . 8/27
Poor Harry. All the down sides of a harem and none of the up-sides. A bunch of 16-17 year old girls behaving as if they were 13. One accidental touch causing 5000 words of angst and whining. Really? The average age of losing virginity is 16 in England, but these 16-year-olds go nuts about an accidental touch? On top of clothing? Is it just to draw out the story? Chapter 20 and still very little has actually happened. This isn't Adventure/Romance, it's Angst/Romance with a beefy side of infinite-training-fic. I now have doubts that there will EVER be any real danger other than the never-ending henpecking and merciless (and mean) teasing of 8 girls plus a few full-grown women. It's a good thing that Harry is emotionally damaged, because anyone fully sane would tell these bitches to fuck off. "You're so great, you're so wonderful, that we can treat you like shit and you will never, ever do anything about it." Ugh.
My rating for this fic started at around a 7 due to good storytelling, but that has faded as the story stalled (around chapter 4, sadly). It's down around a 3 of 10 now. Two more chapters to see if anything at all happens now that Voldy is FINALLY awake again, but after that I can't be bothered to continue, especially since it's not been updated for a year and a half and probably never will be. I don't CARE how much training they have if they never use it.
| Simianpower chapter 14 . 8/27
Very well done with the Molly scene! I've been waiting for that and the Dumbledore one for a while, and both were good.