|Reviews for Stone|
| Musette Fujiwara chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
I loved your new story... Though I wonder what reason does she have to end her relationship with him...
| chainedheart999 chapter 1 . 10/22/2008
I think that it will be better if you arranged the months in descending order, so it will become 7 months before, 4 months before, and finally 1 month before. Still leaves a big mystery XD why Sakura broke up with Syaoran while on the other hand she needed him badly... Love and live...hahaha
| debbie chapter 1 . 10/22/2008
Hey, I think you have a nice, unique style and the development of the plot is very creative. I think I see a lot of potential in this story, there's not much in the first chapter for me to really form a proper opinion of this yet so I can't give you much constructive criticism... Just that the first chapter, at first look, seems quite bland, so impatient readers looking for ACTION and ENTERTAINMENT might not give your story a try. But I can see a lot of potential (the plot is intriguing) so I hope it'll get better as the story progresses!
| k.BlackNightingale chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
I'm intrigued. That's really all I can say. I would critique the writing except that since it's only the beginning and quite short I don't think there's enough to give you a proper opinion. Just let it be known the I like where it's going and sincerely hope you continue so the rest of us can also find out why.
| ShadoWolfDemon chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
wow, this was...increadible. I could feel the emotion in there really well.
But since you want critique, I'll give you some. I'm also trying to write a novel, and although my style is somewhat different then yours, we both have one of the same mistakes.
Don't rely on dialouge to move through everything. Try to be more descriptive.
I don't want to be hypocritical, because I do that mistake all the time, and my english teacher is very adamant about using description, plus, if you read most books, they use dialouge, but more sparingly then I would, and insert a lot of detailed imagery in there.
The trick is to find the in-between spot where the reader can imagine parts of the scene, while still having a clear idea of what's going on.
But seriously, I'm really amazed with this. Really, REALLY amazed. I'm definately alerting.