Reviews for Breaking and Entering
Guest chapter 1 . 8/10/2017
WOW! That was HOT! You left me panting and craving for more details and wishing this chapter lasted even longer. Shoot, you could build a lemony and fluffy story around this. I know I would definitely come back to your page to read it. I've read another story of yours and I must say, you've got a very vivid and naughty imagination. But it makes for a very enthralling and heart stopping and restarting experience to read your short stories. Your a very talented writer whom I enjoy reading your captivating words. And my only complaint was the lemon could have had even longer and more detailed dirty talking Edward and Bella could have added her own saucy words back at Edward. I like her to shock Edward with her friskyness since he is unable to hear her thoughts, she can catch him off guard. She's always taking him by surprise and he likes that.. But as much as I liked your other story about "Dr Love" and an extremely naughty side of Edward you don't hardly ever see, as much as I enjoyed it, I also found myself a little put off that Edward could not even hold an intelligent conversation with her. He didn't see very interested in getting to know who she is, her thoughts her dreams, what made her cry, what made her happy, he didn't act like he loved her at all. It's like all he wanted her for was her sexy body and she might as well been a live version of a blow up fill. Just something to get his rocks off with. So even thought I really liked the story, My need for Edwards reassurance and his pure and true and unconditional love that Edward has for Bella was not present at all in that novel. Just his list that can easily be mistaken. So in only that repack did I find it lacking. Cause too me, Love and Sex go together even better than an empty and cheap affair that consist of only list and nothing more. I mean, sex is so much BETTER and more passionate when your making love to your husband whom your head over heels inlove with. The emotional connection only seems to fan the flames of passion, lust, Love and desire. And everyone knows that good sex or I would prefer to say "making love" is always best when the mind and the heart are both stimulated. And without love, where you may still reach satisfaction, the peace, and love and safe and securities and the sense of being at "home" in someone's arms, and the contentment in knowing your safe and loved that heals your heart and soothes your soul can only be accomplish by making love to someone who loves you back in return and loves you good, long and hard, and slow, gentle and tender. Either way, it's still making love. I would prefer that over a cheap motel 6 one night stand with a stranger who could give two shits whether I got mine or not or whether he ever sees me again. After he used my body to get his 15 minutes of pleasure. It would leave me feeling cold and empty and dirty and used and unloved And abandoned and lonely. It's just not worth it if your can't have the best girls, than take my advice from someone who has loved a manipulative in the past whom I gave my love, My patience, My forgiveness, My virginity too. And thinking that I could keep him if I willingly sacrificed my own life and happiness by pointing him first when really I got nothing from him in return but heartache. So my advice is, save it for your husband. A man who deserves to have your virginity. Someone who will love and cherish you. I love my virginity to the first man I ever loved after a year of being in love with him. Shoot, it's 15 years later and I still love him and wish him the best in life. However, I realize that it was wrong to have given to him that which did not belong to him but belongs only to my husband now. My first love loved me back in his own way. But it just wasn't enough. He was also too selfish. If you ever have read the story by Danielle Steele called "Lone Eagle" that's a good example of what kind of happened in my own tragic first love that could never have that happy ending. He even had a tattoo on his chest of a lone eagle. I should have took that as a sign that I could never keep him bound to the ground, his feet refused to stay on solid ground. He refused to settle, he constantly moved around. From state to state to a different woman to another different woman. Something he needed that none of us women had that was enough to keep him. I wondered if he would ever settle down and finally committed. I will never forget running into my first love Joel's mother in Wal-Mart and she told me that Joel was getting married March 18. How sad is it that I can't even forget the day he broke my heart again by marrying another women? But I wasn't as mad as I was hurt. Wondering if he had been seeing her right before we broke up. Wondering what made him not fight harder for us. But than I guess by that time I heard the news and saw his picture in the paper with his overweight fiancee staring back at me. A plain average Jane most people will call her. But looks aren't all important. We all get older and can't keep are looks forever, so she must have had a really nice personality. She must be very sweet, she must make him laugh and stimulate his mind in a way I guess I failed too. So in one way, I have to congratulate her for attaining the use to be unattainable and non commital bachelor who had trouble settling down with one woman and n one place. I tried to through lasso over a tornado, tried to love this raging bull and keep him in place, but I yank and pulled and torn apart by doing so. Just by willingly giving me his all. I sent ever ask anything from him. I didn't even asked for his love, though I hoped for him too love me and be faithful to me. And for a small measure of time, he was mine and I had his love. I guess I felt blessed that he ever loved me at all. When he didn't seem to love any other woman. But I knew that I was selling my self short. But I was still a teenager back then, mature for my age, but afraid to be alone and without the one I loved so much. I gave my all for him. I was even willing to change jobs and move to a different state just to be with him. I guess I loved him too much, so much that I was selling myself short. And I guess he didn't love me enough to ask me to stay and not give up on him even though he had failed me once before. He didn't fight for me when it counted. So therefore I realized that we didn't have what it would take to make it last long haul. I could not spend the rest of my life overly exhausting myself in trying to please him and throwing a blind eye when I felt like he had a wondering eye around other women when I wasn't there. Enough was enough. If I can't be the TABLE, than I'm not going to be the TABLE cloth.. I deserved better. And he agreed with me. He said he loved me but didn't deserve me. I was too good for him. I deserved better. I wished he had fought for me. But now I'm glad he didn't. Cause he was right. I DID deserve better. And I have never been more loved by any man, than by my husband. Who has been a rock for me in times of grief and sorrow. I'm glad I didn't settle to being someone else's second best. Though I still love and care for Joel. It goes to show that you can underestimate teen love. I feel inlove with Joel when I was 14 years old. It was on and off again for a couple more years after that. But it was love, and I couldn't deny it. I had hoped after he broke my heart that I would find that I didn't love him as much as I thought I did. I had hoped the pain of his absence would not effect me so, that as I got older, I could look back and say, yeah I'm over it, It was nothing more than puppy love. How wrong I was. My breakup with Joel and how I handled it was a lot like Edward and Bella's break up in New Moon. It was even for the exact same reasons why we broke up. We loved each other. But we broke up because he thought I deserve better than what he had to offer me. I later discovered he was write. So in my own personal love story, I guess I'm Bella and I married my Jacob. Jacob who loves and stays and doesn't give up... Love isn't always enough. I'm 30 years old now and I can look back and say, it wasn't puppy love or a spring fancy, it never was. It was real love while it lasted. And I learns a few important lessons from that experience. One being, that Love and Sex is not the only thing that should be present. But commitment and marriage as well. For in the marriage bed the union is not defiled. Another thing is, what I think is best for me may not always be what's best for me when I'm blinded by an unhealthy love and in a questionable relationship. I may have loved him, but it didn't mean he was good boyfriend material. It was only a matter of time till he walked away from me. I called him my walkaway Joe. Since his name was Joel and the song seemed to fit my situation in a way. He was always coming back too me, making me fall inlove with him all over again, only to later break my heart all over again. He may have been 5 years my senior, but I was in a more stabled place for a committed relationship than he was. But eventually about year later finally settled down and married. When I ran into his mother in Wal-Mart and she told me he was getting married March 18 that year, I froze in shock right in front of her. I must of given my best Golden Globe performance when I forced myself to not show my heartache at hearing the news that my first love the man I fought so hard for, was marrying someone else. I tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to overcome me. There was a huge lump in my throat and I felt like my heart dropped to my belly and I felt my chest ache as if a huge hole had punched into my chest where my heart used to be but was not destroyed and left in pieces. I tried to keep a brave face and keep my emotions off my face so she couldn't read my body language. She started talking about the wedding nd I flashed her a polite but from smile as she told me about the woman that was marrying my love. She must have noticed that I was still frozen after 5 minutes and had yet to say anything after she finished telling me about this woman and the coming nuptials and how their picture was in the paper. The paper I still have to this day might I add... I realized it was my turn to talk after she finished her long winded version of the wedding to be, so I tried to pretend like I wasn't dying inside as I said the only true words that I could say to his mother without revealing how hard it was for me too hear this. I simply said, "Well, I'm glad he finally found someone he loved enough to settle down with and one day have a family. Please tell Joel that I wish him nothing but happiness for him and his new bride." I guess I wasn't too good of an actress. Maybe my facial expressions slipped and revealed the inner turmoil and emotional heartache and pain I was in. Cause it was then his mother gave me a sympathetic look and it seemed a lightbulb went off in her head. Maybe in that moment she saw how much I loved her son. But also saw that I loved him enough to let him go and find happiness with another. Cause she hugged me and said "Oh my, what a sweet girl you are. I always loved when you came and visited me. Your truly a special young woman." That was the last time I ever saw her. My mom and gran saw the Joel's picture in the paper with his bride to be in the paper announcing their engagement. In a moment of weakness, I considered calling him and seeing how he was doing. And maybe getting some answers as to what went wrong and why when after I gave him my love my body my heart my everything, I still was never enough for him? What did I do wrong? What did I not do? Did he not know that I would have laid down my life for him and captured the moon for him if he wished for it? What did she have that I don't? Did he still love me? After all it wasn't but less than a year before he said he did. Did we still have a chance if some of his heart belonged too me? Was it right to marry her when I had claim on him first. He was my boyfriend. She was the other woman. Not me... I hoped he wasn't rushing into this or making a mistake. But then I sat down and watched my best friends wedding. I saw how well that worked out for Julia Roberts when she tried to bust up the wedding and reclaim the man she loved. Something told me that nothing would be gained and only more heartache would come too me if so contacted him. So so didn't bust into the church on their wedding day. I would have never had the guts, though a part of me did want too. Instead, I cried all day on his wedding day as my mother held me in her arms and told me not give up on love. That I was a remarkable young woman who had a lot to offer to a man. It was Joel's loss. Cause no one could love him as selflessly and unconditionally like I did. But he didn't deserve me. I deserved someone who would love and cherish me better than Joel ever did. I'm glad I listened too my mom cause later I married my best friend and he has been the greatest love I've ever known. I learned many life lessons in my youth. Too many lessons to write down. But take my advice. Save yourself for marriage. Give yourself only to your husband who loves you and cherishes you. And no matter how much heartache you experienced in your past. Do not give up on love. As I always saying, though being with guys in my past who didn't always treat me like that should have or loved me like they should have, that being in some bad relationships with some guys in the past made me appreciate the good guy that came along that held a promising future for me that involved love and marriage and God. And as long as I've got Jesus, I know I'm ok. Cause Jesus is the only man in my life that has never let me down...

I can sympathize with Bella Swans heartache in New Moon. But one must not lose hope cause to each their own is a Breaking Dawn on up ahead. A new day filled with my opportunities for better things that life has to offer. Just don't lose HOPE. And NEVER give up.
Guest chapter 1 . 8/10/2017
WOW! That was HOT! You left me panting and craving for more details and wishing this chapter lasted even longer. Shoot, you could build a lemony and fluffy story around this. I know I would definitely come back to your page to read it. I've read another story of yours and I must say, you've got a very vivid and naughty imagination. But it makes for a very enthralling and heart stopping and restarting experience to read your short stories. Your a very talented writer whom I enjoy reading your captivating words. And my only complaint was the lemon could have had even longer and more detailed dirty talking Edward and Bella could have added her own saucy words back at Edward. I like her to shock Edward with her friskyness since he is unable to hear her thoughts, she can catch him off guard. She's always taking him by surprise and he likes that.. But as much as I liked your other story about "Dr Love" and an extremely naughty side of Edward you don't hardly ever see, as much as I enjoyed it, I also found myself a little put off that Edward could not even hold an intelligent conversation with her. He didn't see very interested in getting to know who she is, her thoughts her dreams, what made her cry, what made her happy, he didn't act like he loved her at all. It's like all he wanted her for was her sexy body and she might as well been a live version of a blow up fill. Just something to get his rocks off with. So even thought I really liked the story, My need for Edwards reassurance and his pure and true and unconditional love that Edward has for Bella was not present at all in that novel. Just his list that can easily be mistaken. So in only that repack did I find it lacking. Cause too me, Love and Sex go together even better than an empty and cheap affair that consist of only list and nothing more. I mean, sex is so much BETTER and more passionate when your making love to your husband whom your head over heels inlove with. The emotional connection only seems to fan the flames of passion, lust, Love and desire. And everyone knows that good sex or I would prefer to say "making love" is always best when the mind and the heart are both stimulated. And without love, where you may still reach satisfaction, the peace, and love and safe and securities and the sense of being at "home" in someone's arms, and the contentment in knowing your safe and loved that heals your heart and soothes your soul can only be accomplish by making love to someone who loves you back in return and loves you good, long and hard, and slow, gentle and tender. Either way, it's still making love. I would prefer that over a cheap motel 6 one night stand with a stranger who could give two shits whether I got mine or not or whether he ever sees me again. After he used my body to get his 15 minutes of pleasure. It would leave me feeling cold and empty and dirty and used and unloved And abandoned and lonely. It's just not worth it if your can't have the best girls, than take my advice from someone who has loved a manipulative in the past whom I gave my love, My patience, My forgiveness, My virginity too. And thinking that I could keep him if I willingly sacrificed my own life and happiness by pointing him first when really I got nothing from him in return but heartache. So my advice is, save it for your husband. A man who deserves to have your virginity. Someone who will love and cherish you. I love my virginity to the first man I ever loved after a year of being in love with him. Shoot, it's 15 years later and I still love him and wish him the best in life. However, I realize that it was wrong to have given to him that which did not belong to him but belongs only to my husband now. My first love loved me back in his own way. But it just wasn't enough. He was also too selfish. If you ever have read the story by Danielle Steele called "Lone Eagle" that's a good example of what kind of happened in my own tragic first love that could never have that happy ending. He even had a tattoo on his chest of a lone eagle. I should have took that as a sign that I could never keep him bound to the ground, his feet refused to stay on solid ground. He refused to settle, he constantly moved around. From state to state to a different woman to another different woman. Something he needed that none of us women had that was enough to keep him. I wondered if he would ever settle down and finally committed. I will never forget running into my first love Joel's mother in Wal-Mart and she told me that Joel was getting married March 18. How sad is it that I can't even forget the day he broke my heart again by marrying another women? But I wasn't as mad as I was hurt. Wondering if he had been seeing her right before we broke up. Wondering what made him not fight harder for us. But than I guess by that time I heard the news and saw his picture in the paper with his overweight fiancee staring back at me. A plain average Jane most people will call her. But looks aren't all important. We all get older and can't keep are looks forever, so she must have had a really nice personality. She must be very sweet, she must make him laugh and stimulate his mind in a way I guess I failed too. So in one way, I have to congratulate her for attaining the use to be unattainable and non commital bachelor who had trouble settling down with one woman and n one place. I tried to through lasso over a tornado, tried to love this raging bull and keep him in place, but I yank and pulled and torn apart by doing so. Just by willingly giving me his all. I sent ever ask anything from him. I didn't even asked for his love, though I hoped for him too love me and be faithful to me. And for a small measure of time, he was mine and I had his love. I guess I felt blessed that he ever loved me at all. When he didn't seem to love any other woman. But I knew that I was selling my self short. But I was still a teenager back then, mature for my age, but afraid to be alone and without the one I loved so much. I gave my all for him. I was even willing to change jobs and move to a different state just to be with him. I guess I loved him too much, so much that I was selling myself short. And I guess he didn't love me enough to ask me to stay and not give up on him even though he had failed me once before. He didn't fight for me when it counted. So therefore I realized that we didn't have what it would take to make it last long haul. I could not spend the rest of my life overly exhausting myself in trying to please him and throwing a blind eye when I felt like he had a wondering eye around other women when I wasn't there. Enough was enough. If I can't be the TABLE, than I'm not going to be the TABLE cloth.. I deserved better. And he agreed with me. He said he loved me but didn't deserve me. I was too good for him. I deserved better. I wished he had fought for me. But now I'm glad he didn't. Cause he was right. I DID deserve better. And I have never been more loved by any man, than by my husband. Who has been a rock for me in times of grief and sorrow. I'm glad I didn't settle to being someone else's second best. Though I still love and care for Joel. It goes to show that you can underestimate teen love. I feel inlove with Joel when I was 14 years old. It was on and off again for a couple more years after that. But it was love, and I couldn't deny it. I had hoped after he broke my heart that I would find that I didn't love him as much as I thought I did. I had hoped the pain of his absence would not effect me so, that as I got older, I could look back and say, yeah I'm over it, It was nothing more than puppy love. How wrong I was. My breakup with Joel and how I handled it was a lot like Edward and Bella's break up in New Moon. It was even for the exact same reasons why we broke up. We loved each other. But we broke up because he thought I deserve better than what he had to offer me. I later discovered he was write. So in my own personal love story, I guess I'm Bella and I married my Jacob. Jacob who loves and stays and doesn't give up... Love isn't always enough. I'm 30 years old now and I can look back and say, it wasn't puppy love or a spring fancy, it never was. It was real love while it lasted. And I learns a few important lessons from that experience. One being, that Love and Sex is not the only thing that should be present. But commitment and marriage as well. For in the marriage bed the union is not defiled. Another thing is, what I think is best for me may not always be what's best for me when I'm blinded by an unhealthy love and in a questionable relationship. I may have loved him, but it didn't mean he was good boyfriend material. It was only a matter of time till he walked away from me. I called him my walkaway Joe. Since his name was Joel and the song seemed to fit my situation in a way. He was always coming back too me, making me fall inlove with him all over again, only to later break my heart all over again. He may have been 5 years my senior, but I was in a more stabled place for a committed relationship than he was. But eventually about year later finally settled down and married. When I ran into his mother in Wal-Mart and she told me he was getting married March 18 that year, I froze in shock right in front of her. I must of given my best Golden Globe performance when I forced myself to not show my heartache at hearing the news that my first love the man I fought so hard for, was marrying someone else. I tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to overcome me. There was a huge lump in my throat and I felt like my heart dropped to my belly and I felt my chest ache as if a huge hole had punched into my chest where my heart used to be but was not destroyed and left in pieces. I tried to keep a brave face and keep my emotions off my face so she couldn't read my body language. She started talking about the wedding nd I flashed her a polite but from smile as she told me about the woman that was marrying my love. She must have noticed that I was still frozen after 5 minutes and had yet to say anything after she finished telling me about this woman and the coming nuptials and how their picture was in the paper. The paper I still have to this day might I add... I realized it was my turn to talk after she finished her long winded version of the wedding to be, so I tried to pretend like I wasn't dying inside as I said the only true words that I could say to his mother without revealing how hard it was for me too hear this. I simply said, "Well, I'm glad he finally found someone he loved enough to settle down with and one day have a family. Please tell Joel that I wish him nothing but happiness for him and his new bride." I guess I wasn't too good of an actress. Maybe my facial expressions slipped and revealed the inner turmoil and emotional heartache and pain I was in. Cause it was then his mother gave me a sympathetic look and it seemed a lightbulb went off in her head. Maybe in that moment she saw how much I loved her son. But also saw that I loved him enough to let him go and find happiness with another. Cause she hugged me and said "Oh my, what a sweet girl you are. I always loved when you came and visited me. Your truly a special young woman." That was the last time I ever saw her. My mom and gran saw the Joel's picture in the paper with his bride to be in the paper announcing their engagement. In a moment of weakness, I considered calling him and seeing how he was doing. And maybe getting some answers as to what went wrong and why when after I gave him my love my body my heart my everything, I still was never enough for him? What did I do wrong? What did I not do? Did he not know that I would have laid down my life for him and captured the moon for him if he wished for it? What did she have that I don't? Did he still love me? After all it wasn't but less than a year before he said he did. Did we still have a chance if some of his heart belonged too me? Was it right to marry her when I had claim on him first. He was my boyfriend. She was the other woman. Not me... I hoped he wasn't rushing into this or making a mistake. But then I sat down and watched my best friends wedding. I saw how well that worked out for Julia Roberts when she tried to bust up the wedding and reclaim the man she loved. Something told me that nothing would be gained and only more heartache would come too me if so contacted him. So so didn't bust into the church on their wedding day. I would have never had the guts, though a part of me did want too. Instead, I cried all day on his wedding day as my mother held me in her arms and told me not give up on love. That I was a remarkable young woman who had a lot to offer to a man. It was Joel's loss. Cause no one could love him as selflessly and unconditionally like I did. But he didn't deserve me. I deserved someone who would love and cherish me better than Joel ever did. I'm glad I listened too my mom cause later I married my best friend and he has been the greatest love I've ever known. I learned many life lessons in my youth. Too many lessons to write down. But take my advice. Save yourself for marriage. Give yourself only to your husband who loves you and cherishes you. And no matter how much heartache you experienced in your past. Do not give up on love. As I always saying, though being with guys in my past who didn't always treat me like that should have or loved me like they should have, that being in some bad relationships with some guys in the past made me appreciate the good guy that came along that held a promising future for me that involved love and marriage and God. And as long as I've got Jesus, I know I'm ok. Cause Jesus is the only man in my life that has never let me down.
Guest chapter 1 . 8/10/2017
WOW! That was HOT! You left me panting and craving for more details and wishing this chapter lasted even longer. Shoot, you could build a lemony and fluffy story around this. I know I would definitely come back to your page to read it. I've read another story of yours and I must say, you've got a very vivid and naughty imagination. But it makes for a very enthralling and heart stopping and restarting experience to read your short stories. Your a very talented writer whom I enjoy reading your captivating words. And my only complaint was the lemon could have had even longer and more detailed dirty talking Edward and Bella could have added her own saucy words back at Edward. I like her to shock Edward with her friskyness since he is unable to hear her thoughts, she can catch him off guard. She's always taking him by surprise and he likes that.. But as much as I liked your other story about "Dr Love" and an extremely naughty side of Edward you don't hardly ever see, as much as I enjoyed it, I also found myself a little put off that Edward could not even hold an intelligent conversation with her. He didn't see very interested in getting to know who she is, her thoughts her dreams, what made her cry, what made her happy, he didn't act like he loved her at all. It's like all he wanted her for was her sexy body and she might as well been a live version of a blow up fill. Just something to get his rocks off with. So even thought I really liked the story, My need for Edwards reassurance and his pure and true and unconditional love that Edward has for Bella was not present at all in that novel. Just his list that can easily be mistaken. So in only that repack did I find it lacking. Cause too me, Love and Sex go together even better than an empty and cheap affair that consist of only list and nothing more. I mean, sex is so much BETTER and more passionate when your making love to your husband whom your head over heels inlove with. The emotional connection only seems to fan the flames of passion, lust, Love and desire. And everyone knows that good sex or I would prefer to say "making love" is always best when the mind and the heart are both stimulated. And without love, where you may still reach satisfaction, the peace, and love and safe and securities and the sense of being at "home" in someone's arms, and the contentment in knowing your safe and loved that heals your heart and soothes your soul can only be accomplish by making love to someone who loves you back in return and loves you good, long and hard, and slow, gentle and tender. Either way, it's still making love. I would prefer that over a cheap motel 6 one night stand with a stranger who could give two shits whether I got mine or not or whether he ever sees me again. After he used my body to get his 15 minutes of pleasure. It would leave me feeling cold and empty and dirty and used and unloved And abandoned and lonely. It's just not worth it if your can't have the best girls, than take my advice from someone who has loved a manipulative in the past whom I gave my love, My patience, My forgiveness, My virginity too. And thinking that I could keep him if I willingly sacrificed my own life and happiness by pointing him first when really I got nothing from him in return but heartache. So my advice is, save it for your husband. A man who deserves to have your virginity. Someone who will love and cherish you. I love my virginity to the first man I ever loved after a year of being in love with him. Shoot, it's 15 years later and I still love him and wish him the best in life. However, I realize that it was wrong to have given to him that which did not belong to him but belongs only to my husband now. My first love loved me back in his own way. But it just wasn't enough. He was also too selfish. If you ever have read the story by Danielle Steele called "Lone Eagle" that's a good example of what kind of happened in my own tragic first love that could never have that happy ending. He even had a tattoo on his chest of a lone eagle. I should have took that as a sign that I could never keep him bound to the ground, his feet refused to stay on solid ground. He refused to settle, he constantly moved around. From state to state to a different woman to another different woman. Something he needed that none of us women had that was enough to keep him. I wondered if he would ever settle down and finally committed. I will never forget running into my first love Joel's mother in Wal-Mart and she told me that Joel was getting married March 18. How sad is it that I can't even forget the day he broke my heart again by marrying another women? But I wasn't as mad as I was hurt. Wondering if he had been seeing her right before we broke up. Wondering what made him not fight harder for us. But than I guess by that time I heard the news and saw his picture in the paper with his overweight fiancee staring back at me. A plain average Jane most people will call her. But looks aren't all important. We all get older and can't keep are looks forever, so she must have had a really nice personality. She must be very sweet, she must make him laugh and stimulate his mind in a way I guess I failed too. So in one way, I have to congratulate her for attaining the use to be unattainable and non commital bachelor who had trouble settling down with one woman and n one place. I tried to through lasso over a tornado, tried to love this raging bull and keep him in place, but I yank and pulled and torn apart by doing so. Just by willingly giving me his all. I sent ever ask anything from him. I didn't even asked for his love, though I hoped for him too love me and be faithful to me. And for a small measure of time, he was mine and I had his love. I guess I felt blessed that he ever loved me at all. When he didn't seem to love any other woman. But I knew that I was selling my self short. But I was still a teenager back then, mature for my age, but afraid to be alone and without the one I loved so much. I gave my all for him. I was even willing to change jobs and move to a different state just to be with him. I guess I loved him too much, so much that I was selling myself short. And I guess he didn't love me enough to ask me to stay and not give up on him even though he had failed me once before. He didn't fight for me when it counted. So therefore I realized that we didn't have what it would take to make it last long haul. I could not spend the rest of my life overly exhausting myself in trying to please him and throwing a blind eye when I felt like he had a wondering eye around other women when I wasn't there. Enough was enough. If I can't be the TABLE, than I'm not going to be the TABLE cloth.. I deserved better. And he agreed with me. He said he loved me but didn't deserve me. I was too good for him. I deserved better. I wished he had fought for me. But now I'm glad he didn't. Cause he was right. I DID deserve better. And I have never been more loved by any man, than by my husband. Who has been a rock for me in times of grief and sorrow. I'm glad I didn't settle to being someone else's second best. Though I still love and care for Joel. It goes to show that you can underestimate teen love. I feel inlove with Joel when I was 14 years old. It was on and off again for a couple more years after that. But it was love, and I couldn't deny it. I had hoped after he broke my heart that I would find that I didn't love him as much as I thought I did. I had hoped the pain of his absence would not effect me so, that as I got older, I could look back and say, yeah I'm over it, It was nothing more than puppy love. How wrong I was. My breakup with Joel and how I handled it was a lot like Edward and Bella's break up in New Moon. It was even for the exact same reasons why we broke up. We loved each other. But we broke up because he thought I deserve better than what he had to offer me. I later discovered he was write. So in my own personal love story, I guess I'm Bella and I married my Jacob. Jacob who loves and stays and doesn't give up... Love isn't always enough. I'm 30 years old now and I can look back and say, it wasn't puppy love or a spring fancy, it never was. It was real love while it lasted. And I learns a few important lessons from that experience. One being, that Love and Sex is not the only thing that should be present. But commitment and marriage as well. For in the marriage bed the union is not defiled. Another thing is, what I think is best for me may not always be what's best for me when I'm blinded by an unhealthy love and in a questionable relationship. I may have loved him, but it didn't mean he was good boyfriend material. It was only a matter of time till he walked away from me. I called him my walkaway Joe. Since his name was Joel and the song seemed to fit my situation in a way. He was always coming back too me, making me fall inlove with him all over again, only to later break my heart all over again. He may have been 5 years my senior, but I was in a more stabled place for a committed relationship than he was. But eventually about year later finally settled down and married. When I ran into his mother in Wal-Mart and she told me he was getting married March 18 that year, I froze in shock right in front of her. I must of given my best Golden Globe performance when I forced myself to not show my heartache at hearing the news that my first love the man I fought so hard for, was marrying someone else. I tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to overcome me. There was a huge lump in my throat and I felt like my heart dropped to my belly and I felt my chest ache as if a huge hole had punched into my chest where my heart used to be but was not destroyed and left in pieces. I tried to keep a brave face and keep my emotions off my face so she couldn't read my body language. She started talking about the wedding nd I flashed her a polite but from smile as she told me about the woman that was marrying my love. She must have noticed that I was still frozen after 5 minutes and had yet to say anything after she finished telling me about this woman and the coming nuptials and how their picture was in the paper. The paper I still have to this day might I add... I realized it was my turn to talk after she finished her long winded version of the wedding to be, so I tried to pretend like I wasn't dying inside as I said the only true words that I could say to his mother without revealing how hard it was for me too hear this. I simply said, "Well, I'm glad he finally found someone he loved enough to settle down with and one day have a family. Please tell Joel that I wish him nothing but happiness for him and his new bride." I guess I wasn't too good of an actress. Maybe my facial expressions slipped and revealed the inner turmoil and emotional heartache and pain I was in. Cause it was then his mother gave me a sympathetic look and it seemed a light bulb went off in her head. Maybe in that moment she saw how much I loved her son. But also saw that I loved him enough to let him go and find happiness with another. Cause she hugged me and said "Oh my, what a sweet girl you are. I always loved when you came and visited me. Your truly a special young woman." That was the last time I ever saw her. My mom and gran saw the Joel's picture in the paper with his bride to be in the paper announcing their engagement. In a moment of weakness, I considered calling him and seeing how he was doing. And maybe getting some answers as to what went wrong and why when after I gave him my love my body my heart my everything, I still was never enough for him? What did I do wrong? What did I not do? Did he not know that I would have laid down my life for him and captured the moon for him if he wished for it? What did she have that I don't? Did he still love me? After all it wasn't but less than a year before he said he did. Did we still have a chance if some of his heart belonged too me? Was it right to marry her when I had claim on him first. He was my boyfriend. She was the other woman. Not me... I hoped he wasn't rushing into this or making a mistake. But then I sat down and watched my best friends wedding. I saw how well that worked out for Julia Roberts when she tried to bust up the wedding and reclaim the man she loved. Something told me that nothing would be gained and only more heartache would come too me if so contacted him. So so didn't bust into the church on their wedding day. I would have never had the guts, though a part of me did want too. Instead, I cried all day on his wedding day as my mother held me in her arms and told me not give up on love. That I was a remarkable young woman who had a lot to offer to a man. It was Joel's loss. Cause no one could love him as selflessly and unconditionally like I did. But he didn't deserve me. I deserved someone who would love and cherish me better than Joel ever did. I'm glad I listened too my mom cause later I married my best friend and he has been the greatest love I've ever known. I learned many life lessons in my youth. Too many lessons to write down. But take my advice. Save yourself for marriage. Give yourself only to your husband who loves you and cherishes you. And no matter how much heartache you experienced in your past. Do not give up on love. As I always saying, though being with guys in my past who didn't always treat me like that should have or loved me like they should have, that being in some bad relationships with some guys in the past made me appreciate the good guy that came along that held a promising future for me that involved love and marriage and God. And as long as I've got Jesus, I know I'm ok. Cause Jesus is the only man in my life that has never let me down.
FabinaForever11 chapter 1 . 12/29/2015
Awesome!:)
J chapter 2 . 2/8/2015
Thanks!
sef74 chapter 2 . 9/27/2013
Wow! I've just discovered twilight fanfic. You rock! Thank you!
OPOSOJOJ chapter 1 . 8/7/2012
Loved it!
mayacullen86 chapter 2 . 7/27/2012
awesome
cullen sandra chapter 1 . 8/18/2011
That was hot! Would love to know whose house it was.
77049sma chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
Woooooooo!
WildChild95 chapter 2 . 4/27/2011
Really Liked it!
OPOSOJOJ chapter 2 . 12/19/2010
Soooooooooo hott!
VampChick76 chapter 1 . 12/14/2010
Who's bed did they break? Love dirty talking Edward, really hott!

~Xela
Mrs.Quinn-Fuentes chapter 1 . 10/25/2010
nicely written and good chapter
Fliberty chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
Wow, that was hot. I do love a gentlemanly Vampire Edward with a dark
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