|Reviews for Nothing is always something|
| Peaceful Dragon Rose chapter 13 . 12/31/2013
| Ritsuka-chan1092 chapter 1 . 5/4/2012
It was a really good chapter, I saw a little confusion in a part of it where it goes from her being tickled as a child and then in the next sentence it is her grown up. I didn't see a time seperation, but I managed to figure it out :D I really loved this chapter and I can't wait to read the rest of it~! :D
| AngelofDarkness95 chapter 14 . 12/6/2011
the sequel sounds great heading to see if there thanx for sharing this story
| parisadaja chapter 14 . 12/4/2010
wowww. i love this story ! and it was soooo freakin good !
| AMUTOLOVER09 chapter 2 . 6/21/2009
this is a good story but you should have done better explanations on how everyone first met and how she knows everyone, also is she youkai or hanyou?
| AraneaDuDios chapter 14 . 3/24/2009
yay! well... it's fin! i liked it!
| PhantomsAngel1988 chapter 13 . 2/14/2009
| SacredRoseDream chapter 6 . 2/5/2009
I like the whole demon Kagome idea but I feel you could have done considerably better. You seem to suffer from the same problems I have found in various starting writers and I am going to be blunt with you. Your story consists mostly of speech, there is virtually no imagery, little if any description or use of setting (which tends to make things very confusing when you move to other events), there is no creation of mood, there is almost no building up of plot or characters, and your characterization needs work.
It is very important that when writing you make sure to use imagery, mood, and setting to create something your reader can see, hear, feel, smell, or even taste in their minds. When a new character is introduced scenes that detail what they look like and portray their actions (and personality) are necessary to the story. Setting itself is a powerful tool, describing how things look and what is happening in that scenery even if it is a wind bending soft blades of grass or rivers rushing against themselves creates something more real to your readers and if used properly can create a mood that involves your readers and enhances your plot. Not only that, setting as an integral part of the story also sets a timeline for readers and helps transition from one scene to the next.
Characterization is of the uptmost importance. Giving your characters little gestures like biting their lips when nervous, having a lisp while speaking, and tapping their fingers when annoyed give dimension to your characters and make them more believable and tangible to readers. Giving them certain speaking mannerisms, describing expressions or little movements, even hinting at their thoughts all add necessary depth to your characters that will enthrall your readers.
Artistry, for lack of a better word, is also necessary. When creating your story do not explain or introduce important facts and events through speech if not necessary but rather hint at them, leave something for your reader to infer and get involved in. Use the setting, your characters actions and expressions, mood, and even throughts and interactions to "say" the things you desire. For example you simply state that Kagome wants to kill her father but it is less tangible, less entertaining, less real by stating it simply in speech or thought instead draw it out and leave things to inference and intution. For example to show not only Kagome's rather dislike of her form and hint at her suffering, but also her father you could have written something like this (not how much more effective and involved this i):
Night was descending, inky darkness spilling across the broad canvas of day to overtake it. A soft wind blew, carrying with it the scents of the forest and the sharp, metallic scent of blood. Full lips pressed into a tight line and blue eyes gazed somberly at the dying sky. She had done it again. Killed another youkai bent that thought she was easy prey. Hanyou, her lips curled at the word. He had called her hanyou. She hated the word. Too youkai to be human, too different to be youkai, caught between worlds like the twilight.
She stared at her claws, sharp and white. Not a sign that she had just killed another youkai. Keen eyes adjusted to the falling darkness, the light enough that the dark markings on her arms were clear and she was reminded of the others coiling up her body to the rising sun dark on her brow. Sometimes she hated them, these markings- reminders of the pain her mother went through. Her heart clenched as she recalled that night years ago, the tears shinning in her mother's eyes. Bastard, she thought. She was crying because of that bastard. Her eyes narrowed, glinting in the blessed darkness. He didn't deserve those tears- no one did.
"One day,"she vowed to no one as she allowed her emotions to settle deep within her, hidden even from herself, "I will kill you. Yakusoku."
| Shayleatone chapter 13 . 1/30/2009
When will you post the sequel let me know when you do. thanks.
| Shayleatone chapter 14 . 1/30/2009
great on to the sequel.
| jojo661538 chapter 14 . 1/12/2009
keep up the good work _
| Kitana18 chapter 14 . 12/1/2008
Whoa that was crazy
| Kattana chapter 14 . 11/23/2008
I think that it's fine. I cant wait to see ho you will use this new line of direction for the story.
| ummbo chapter 6 . 11/12/2008
You said that the kids had scars. As they are new wounds I think 'scars' was the wrong word used to describe them. Perhaps wounds or gashes would have been more correct.
I thought it strange that Kagome carried her kids off for the confrontation with Kagura instead of just flying off in rage. And during this chaos, how had the kids had gotten to eating? And Rin was friendly to Sesshoumaru instead of crying out of pain and fear?
Do you realize that it is highly improper to enter someone's room without permission? The meeting in the morning should never have happened. Even a servant who was allowed entrance would not have dared to look at the couple for propriety's sake. I can't believe that Kagome actually got out of bed while all were there to wrap something around herself.
And how come the mother was emotional (though still not enough, I say) during the reunion but not Kagome? Didn't she feel guilt or anything?
And how exactly did Y's eyes change? You're not thorough enough with physical descriptions either.
| ummbo chapter 5 . 11/12/2008
Tsubaki. So that explains Kagome's lack of angst.
I can't imagine children actually saying they feel neglected and I can't imagine any parent give into their childrens' wishes to stay away from a suitor. In these cases, isn't it normal instead to reassure them and promise to spend more quality time together?
And I really wasn't feeling Sesshoumaru's anger and pain.