|Reviews for The Missing Hokage|
| Shadowfire01 chapter 12 . 3/17
Such a great story! I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the amazing work and I don't care if the characters aren't strictly following their cannon personalities. These personalities fit the story better and I imagine that's how Naruto would act anyways when in a relationship, as I have yet to really read the manga.
| Fai Gensou chapter 5 . 9/24/2014
Mokuton is x linked right? So Tsunade would need two copies to have it
| Guardian54 chapter 6 . 7/29/2014
...And then Naruto's eyes shot open "Hinata, what if she was thinking of sex with Haku while she made a Shadow Clone?"
"Then you get to know both sides of the exchange, lucky you..." Hinata yawned and mumbled "Mm... Naruto warm..." She was snuggling into him when her eyes shot open "What made you think of that? I mean, I'm from a bloodline which can see through some walls, so it's normal for us to be labelled perverts, but you?"
"Jiraya talked to me at least once, and infected me, I guess."
"...Good, that means you'll have lots of ideas once we get formally engaged."
"I thought sex was for married couples?"
"No, it's serious business, but only some people decide to wait."
| Ninjazzz chapter 12 . 4/6/2014
Please please please update when you get the chance
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 7 . 4/1/2014
*sigh* Iwa would at least try to kill Tsunade, Kumo would try nab Hinata is not try to recruit her, Mist is in no position to make offers as they are still in the middle of a civil war.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 6 . 4/1/2014
She is the progenitor of our bloodline from our Hyuuga ancestors." Ayane covered her mouth as she felt she had spoken too freely.
What in the name of? we've know for at least two years that the Uchiha's are the descendants of the sage of the six paths, same as the Senju they are distant relatives the hyuga's have no bearing, it's a rumor.
And again with the Uchiha's we have no evidence they hated Naruto nor that Itachi liked Naruto, beyond a few conversations and him giving Naruto Shinsui's eye in order to force Sasuke to come back.
And of course moar Sasuke bashing.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 5 . 4/1/2014
Mokuton is not a bloodline.
Sasuke bashing is so old, why not check wind monks banishment and try to follow the same line of thought? have the brand so sealed and under so many seals so that Sasuke is less psycho under it's influence?
Kurama in theory lacks of a body, he is mostly a chakra construct, so he should be unable to reproduce or even have a DNA, he is a by product of Creation of all things of the sage of the six paths.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 4 . 4/1/2014
Hinata looked almost hurt. "Why? I told you I love you. Why would it surprise you that I would want to give you a wake up kiss?"
"Sorry Hinata-chan, I am just not used to waking up to a beautiful girl in my bed and her kissing me as soon as I wake up." Naruto apologized and hung his head in shame.
*facepalm* i really doubt hinata would do that until much later in a relationship.
"Sorry to say that he/she also said that the characters were ooc (out of character), hm… Let's see out of character for a fan fiction…. Go figure… If they were in character Naruto would have been brought back to the village to suffer indignations for a few more months deal with a violent teammate, who would be classified as a psychopath with a man beater complex"
Yes the relationship went from non existant to cuddling together in the span of two chapters, that is fucking fast.
Out of Character or OOC means that you remove all traces of what originall made a character and write them as you think they should while you dont provide a reasonable explanation.
Sakura rareley hit Naruto in the manga which is the canon (i stress this word) Source of the universe, not the anime that derailed most of the characters.
"I could swear I have seen Naruto-sama use that grin, she must be related to him." Bear stated as he put his hand to his ear. "Wolf we have a possible relative to Naruto-sama half a click out and we are bringing her and a friend in. The second appears to need medical treatment. Please Alert Tsunade-sama." Bear stated to no one in particular, he then turned to the girls and spoke. "Okay, follow me and no funny stuff. No molding chakra or anything. Do I make myself clear?"
... this is the peak of stupidty, every fucking body knows that Naruto has no siblings, he is a single child, Naruko saying that she is her sister should set off a thousand alarm bells on the heads of the ANBU's not allowing them to pass just like that.
Props for making Naruko onto something interesting but it's not the first time i've read about her not dispeling
Again with the teme, council, etc. refer to ch 1 for what i have to say on that.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 3 . 4/1/2014
All right, where do i start?
Kakashi bashing, that is a no go, thats stupid and is turning a character onto an OC, Kakashi is lazy and was neglectful, but not the extremes you have pictured it, Kakashi is ex ANBU for gods sake he would've noticed earlier Naruto bleeding to death and him taking Kiba out of recovey?! That is just more bashing.
Regarding Academy Teachers, there is no evidence in canon that the teachers treated Naruto like that, on the all purpose Naruto fanfiction thread we have obtained a better explanation, the teachers are incompetent at their jobs, so the reason why Naruto is such a bad student is because is due to him being lazy and the teachers being morons, only clan childs had decent marks and Sakura because she likes to read, any one else? is screwed, so thats me docking an other point because of the use of bad cliches.
More Naru hina OOC behaivor, Naruto is clueless about romance, cuping her face is not something Naruto would do, Naruto would give a speech on how she has not to worry about anything, Naruto has pablovian responses to certain situations.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 2 . 4/1/2014
*sigh* ""Did you mean what you said back in the hospital? And now that you know my secret do you still feel the same way?" Naruto queried."
Naruto is dense, he would not understand why Hinata likes him, the way you phrased the line does not feels like it would come from Naruto's mouth.
Also Tsunade ordering hinata to sleep with Naruto?
Thats a no, Hinata is somewhat shy in the manga, not to the levels of the anime, but shy none the less, ordering her to sleep with Naruto wont be helpful, if anything she would suffer a shock at it.
I jumped to read this fic thinking it would be interesting like s/4991314/1/Escape-from-the-Hokage-s-Hat comparing the two you have much work to do to even make the fic go from beyond meh (thats where it sits in my opinion) to good or average.
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 1 . 4/1/2014
I will be very blunt, no offense but i am going to do it that way.
For starters the only council was one of several Shinobi with the Daimyo after Tsunade went into a coma, otherwise there is no council, no ninja or civilian council.
Second Teme is not an insult, you basically wrote The You/Sasuke-you, teme is a rude form of saying you, if you want you can replace it by the asshole, the bastard, etc.,
Third point Sakura bashing, Naruto's character is too OOC.
Fourth Point it took him 3 years to get out of the 'puppy love' phase, so it is rather suddend the removal of chan.
Fifth Sakura clobbering often Naruto is anime only and thus non canon, fifth Hinata is a shy girl reacting that way is too OOC, she would've defended Naruto but not in the angry manner she did here,
Sixth point the council having authority to over step the Hokage and to ignore the Hokage that is bullshit the Hokage is a military dictator, the word of a Kage is law.
Before you continue with more chapters i suggest that you read /Fanon/AnimeAndManga and Narutopedia in order to get a better hold of the setting.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/4/2014
*Stares blankly confused at the first chapter*
Okay... someone mind telling me why two, or more, authors are writing this chapter? And that's the only explanation that I can come up with as to why it started out coherent, and then devolved straight into a cacophony of both nonsensical actions of characters, and disjointed scenery. I mean, I've seen people rushing to get to a plot point... but this is all but skipping the material in question just to get to the plot point. It's an insult to writing. And before people bi t ch at me about not liking it not reading it, you'll note that this is a review for the first chapter, and I couldn't even finish it; so no worries there. IF this is the work of one author, then I sincerely hope that they take the time to learn patience, because if they do not, then all of their future works will only suffer.
| MythicGR66 chapter 12 . 8/22/2013
i hope you update you stories soon
| Narutothedevil.dnd chapter 4 . 6/28/2013
"The blond exclaimed happily as she snuggled up in front of the brown haired girl." ok you lost of here in previous chapter you said this i.e. Haku is a girl and in the next you wrote haku is a boy so what is he/she really is.
| Tormound chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
Don't quite get how getting rid of the jinchuriki of your village is ever a good idea. Jinchurikis are deterrents since they are damn powerful, getting rid of them is like throwing away your nukes when everyone else is pointing theirs at everyone.