|Reviews for Breach of Trust|
| Guest chapter 12 . 2/10
Oh please please finish this story . Please please please . I would sign my name but I forgot my password. My name is Sabrina . Please finish this I am loving this .
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/11
I'm sorry, but how can you possibly explain how Hermione is so smart if she's the result of inbreeding here?
| Mrh99 chapter 12 . 1/8
Wonderfully written! I'm so sad it newer continued. Thanks.
| starie78 chapter 12 . 11/23/2016
A great story, a real shame it is incomplete.
| mckertis chapter 6 . 10/15/2016
Okay, this is barely readable. EVERYONE is calling each other "mum".
| mckertis chapter 3 . 10/15/2016
So, it's basically this.
1) We're in love and will be married, but...
2) Actually my memories were erased, so...
3) I'm not the person you thought you knew, so are we still in love even if our entire relationship has been a lie ?
| chachingmel123 chapter 4 . 9/14/2016
I‘m sorry but I have to say this because clearly nobody will.
I stopped reading at chapter 4 or so. The plot of love potions draw me in but it stopped being interesting when you began to rearly write about it.
So I skip a couple of chapters and I couldnt help but notice one thing.
Hermonies family was really in my face, sure it great that you wrote her as a decendent of Ravenclaw but did you have to write chapter after chapter about them? Your the only author that ive ever seen to really dig deep into heritage when most would gloss over it.
There is a reason why authors tend to gloss over it and its because of endurance, they have to ask themselves how many chapters can their readers handle centered around one family‘s background. Only those who make their own original characters and stories can truly explore this concept because they understand that their story needs legs to stand on or it would collasp, that why people write fanfiction.
The benefit of writing fanfiction is that there is no need to establish each characters background because the original Author has already done that for them.
So ask your self this, was it really necessary to go into so much deph on a particular subject that the plot could do without?
With all the new family members showing up, it makes you forget the original premise of the story.
Harry and Hermonie find out that they were dosed with love Potion, and thats what should be at the front of your mind while writing, you would think the story would go down the route of both of them planning revenge on their ex-lovers but it doesnt look like that to me.
Im sorry but there is just too much Hermonie and not enough actual plot that relates to the actual summary of this story, I cant be the only one who sees this too.
It like your trying to jam a whole different story into one that started off fine, but you did it in such a way that only those who have been writing for several years will notice it.
I dont think I will ever make it to the end of this, no matter the good reviews but you need to decide exactly what your writing about because im pretty sure when this story does end it would be so over the top that would make me shake my head or it would have nothing to do with the plot that draw me in the first place, you never expanded beyond the original plot summary.
This story should have been more centered around the Weasleys and Harry and Hermonie growing relationship with each, but instead it feels like Harry is just a background character when he should be the lead since he was the one to kick start the plot into high gear, but instead Hermonie is the main character and the villians of this story are barely mensioned at all.
You just know something is seriously wrong somewhere and what is up with this Dumbledore subdued plot?
You make it sound like Dumbledore never know Harry had a hard life with the Durleys and truly believed he would be happy there, this is clearly a lie since there is even evidence that says otherwise in the original text and movies.
Why does it seem to me that your writing Dumbledore as if he was a god and his actions never impacted anyone, Harry sees the man is manipulative that great but in this story, its like Harry just shrugs his shoulders and asks.
Why does it seem like Harry is completely fine with the man condemning him to hell for over a decade? How you write Harry is extremely unrealistic and im sure im not the only one bothered by the trust Harry and others have in the old man, the same man that seems to only tell half truths and decides what people can and cant not know.
| Hawk6782 chapter 12 . 3/12/2016
I love this story. I have read and re-read probably hundreds if not thousands of Harry Potter stories ( some just harry and hermione and some with afew partners, really don't care as long as hermione is in the mix) on this site and I keep coming back to this one. I loved the direction that you went with it and am just curious if you are planning on writing anymore of it or if you have it completed anywhere else that I could go and finish it. Keep up the good work - hawk
| Specky Clarke chapter 6 . 1/27/2016
I find it even more odd that all authors that I have read including JKR have Flitwick ( a half Goblin ) squeaks and falls over in surprise all the time. In all stories I have read, Goblins have gruff/grating/harsh voices and are NEVER startled. It cannot be attributed too his other half either. However, this is building into a really great story. It appears not to be completed, which is sad. A lot of really less than mediocre stories get completed but a higher percentage of excellent stories get abandoned.
| Valkyn Highwind chapter 12 . 11/28/2015
I just found this story, and have enjoyed reading it despite the 'under revision' flag. I like how you wove Hermione's family in to Professor McGonagall's line. I look forward to reading more of this story and/or its ravision in the future.
| giboh92 chapter 12 . 10/27/2015
| lilcat17 chapter 12 . 7/14/2015
Please continue this story, I am really enjoying it!
| midnightscar17 chapter 12 . 5/19/2015
Please update your story
| Midnight's Oblivion chapter 12 . 5/7/2015
Fascinating unique approach to the story, first that I've read like this.
Love the way it's written and the direction it's flowing in. Hope to see another chapter in the future, this story is too good to just let die.
| brightflare chapter 12 . 4/2/2015
Very good story so far, hope you continue it sometime.