Reviews for AVATAR: The First Bender Book 1: AIR
Connor Kent chapter 3 . 8/10/2009
wow. never thought they'd try and destroy the benders! I really like Mizu the best right now.
Connor Kent chapter 1 . 8/10/2009
this sounds really interesting im surprised u dont have more reviews
DarkBluexx chapter 3 . 7/14/2009
Hey, I just thought I'd let you know that I might be a little addicted to this story you've got here. I'm really liking all your OCs and I'm looking forward to see how they all turn out. This is an excellent beginning and I'm glad to see I still have a lot more to read. You've got a great style and intriguing premise so good job!

You can expect to hear more from me as I definitely intend to keep reading. )

-DarkBlue
Amber Pegasus chapter 20 . 12/19/2008
I enjoyed it. I gived this story two thumbs up.
Sajas82 chapter 4 . 11/8/2008
This story just keeps getting better and better. A few spelling mistakes, but other than that I like how it's written.

And here's our enemy! General Zhong's pretty intense; definitely keep him around.

Wait, so are the kids on the mountain able to bend only one element or more? I think I just got confused when they were all flying off. Or was Aer just supporting all of them with the air?

Wicked, though, keep writing!
Sajas82 chapter 2 . 11/3/2008
I like it so far. I also like how you switched between the different scenes at the time of the comet. Can't wait to keep reading it.
ld80061 chapter 4 . 11/2/2008
Sounds like a great story - even like a real episode of Avatar!

After the current fight is finished, though, you might want to put some heart in it. I admit, it takes time to build up characters like Zuko, Iroh, Azula, and Sokka, but understand what you're aiming for. People, action, and bending is what Avatar is about!
ld80061 chapter 3 . 11/2/2008
"The wheat was so mangled that it was almost impossible to make out that these had once even been food, nevertheless plants."

You mean, 'never mind plants.' Never mind the mistake, we all make a misstep when using new vocab: the important thing is to grow in the language!

And you brought in an antagonist! New developments...
ld80061 chapter 2 . 11/2/2008
Well, this is fairly close to "The Boy in the Iceburg" which is OK... but you might try something different next time. Lots of strong images and action, which is good. But, there is something missing - perhaps gravitas (seriousness), or a sense of mystery and wonder. The story feels a bit superficial, a bit flat.

Something good: lots of excitement and action, and some interpersonal links between the characters. I do like your vocabulary and grammar. I hope that you will read more stories, so as to expand the ideals in your head, and increase your vocab - and therefore, the things that you can say. I recommend the older works - pre-1980 or so, as they had a bigger focus on people, and less on tech, in those days.
ld80061 chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Quite a dramatic start - bang, bang, bang! It's going to be hard to keep up, but it is interesting to me... The world bursting with life, spirits that act quickly, and a general vitality and innocence shapes the story.