|Reviews for Cycle|
| sma erDnIy lnO chapter 1 . 2/3/2011
| Lixie Lorn chapter 1 . 3/1/2009
~General Everin Stormclaw of the Emerald Stars and the New Chu Order, Dragon Prince and the Sixth Sutakage, Bearer of the Prophecy and the Moonrider, Commander of the Blood Talons, out.
| Bittersweet Romanticide chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
Not half bad.
My first comment: Don't switch point of views. The only exceptions are when you're writing a story with the theme of diary entries, and you don't write POV at the top, you write "From Sir Jame of Dunderoth's Diary" and go into the story The other is the theme where you go back and forth between two different POV's, one for each chapter. It's better to just do third person if you switch like this, then you can't get every point of view.
I'm going to copy a review I did before, because there's a couple of the same errors, and I don't have the time to retype it all:
It's a good story. There are, as in every work, errors. The grammatical ones I won't get into, and I won't get into my personal preferences such as: I hate all caps to show yelling, but, that's not anything you'd have to fix.
It's a little choppy, but all around pretty good.
As for the description, it's much better than most of what I see on this site. However, you generally show instead of tell. You say what they do, but not how they do it. See, it gives much more insight to your characters, and it makes you feel as if you're there.
You also didn't describe the appearance of your characters. I mean, there was a very quick description, but the girl doesn't have a face. Is it thin? Is it thick? Is she fat, short, tall? I'd like to see what they look like. You can have a briefer description of the pokemon, but I would like at least a quick idea of what they look like. Remember, there's a lot of pokemon out there. I may know most of them off the top of my head, but a lot of people don't. Even in stories that take place in the real world, you often see them describing real life animals as well.
I wish you the best of luck in future stories!
| Black Knight Dai chapter 1 . 11/3/2008
Okay, very impressive. Now, before I continue I wanted to clarify that I am writing this review on my own accord. All in all I found this story to be well written, cute, and just all around great. You have a few grammatical errors and there are times when the battle scenes get a bit confusing, but those are few and far between. This story left me wanting more and I generally loved it. Keep up the god work and I hope to read something else of yours. See you.
| Raven the Ravenous chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
*sniffle* Oh my god, that was so beautifully written.
Uh? *pretends he was not crying* Ahem, anyways, this is probably the first time I've reviewed a fanfic of yours. ; Hehe, I don't really read Pokemon fanfics in general now but the way you pulled it off, with the emotion and the battles and the character (Pokemon as characters too) interactions, this was really a great read. I can see why you are so proud of it. You really deserve to be. :D You have the potential to become a great writer someday...if you choose to be. -
| Thoughtless7 chapter 1 . 11/1/2008
Aww, fluffy one-shot is fluffy! X3
I dunno if I can review this, though, to be frank- obviously this one-shot belongs in the 'verse of your OC, of whom I know little/nothing about except that she can talk to pokémon and has a very strong team.
Buut, despite my ignorance, this was still very very cute and sweet. X3 From the beginning I got the jist that Alena was close to all of her pokémon, and the development was paced very well. It was a sweet romance too: not forced, the two obviously cared a lot for each other (and in no way superficial! *cough Twilight cough* How you think you compare to Meyer-fail is beyond me- you're already leagues ahead of her in the romance department.)
Very few grammar issues, so great job rite thar. I don't like being announced to whose POV it was though: make me know through READING the section whose POV it is. But that's a minor gripe for minor people like me. XP
Gripes, gripes...few of those. You've got a nice style of telling poké battles, though reading through them when Trinz was just chilling before the E4 challenge seemed needless, though more realistic. A pro-con situation, depending on the reader. :3
Really cute though- keep on writing them stories! :3
| The Rudiment Goldbrick chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
Lovely, Soaring. :)
The way you described many things awed me, like how Trinz had gotten to that accident, to the way Trinz and Alena had bonded, and the Elite Four Battle.
Now, I do have to point out only one thing: That irking one spelt "on" in your Author's Note. XD;
| Blazie chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
That's all I have to say.
| Applecrow chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
Aww. I love how this is done. I find it amazing how you keep Alena from being a complete sue. 0_0
That;s not easy. It was very well written and I liked the unique feel it had. Nicely done.