I don't understand. What happened?

Wow... just wow. I loved it :)

aww damnit... Logan had to wreck it...

i think this has the potential to become a very good full length story. i hope you decide to write more.

What the...

I don't want it to be a one shot. :[

AH! This is a great story, but thats just it, it isn't a one shot. This is to in depth and the end is left off in such a way that it really needs to be finished.

It's really really great if you'd just continue it.

!ChoPPy!

Oh I lvoe this it's tense and gripping. And where is the rest? You can't leave it there your killing me. By the way you are a total genius.

A little weird but good, bit confused about the ending, but thats just me.

That was good

maria

To me this is not a good one shot, the writeing is good the ideal is good, but the ending to me seems a bit lacking. There are too many unanwered questions and no real end to anything that was brought up. Now if this was just a frist chapter of a story I would say that is worth a read and wondering about if you were going to do the whole story in this sorta of detached frist person style of writeing because it would be interesting to see if it could be pulled off. Overall I hope you ethier rewrite this to tie up a few of the losse ends or keep going with it to make a bigger story because I do think that this could be really good but right now it needs work.

you so totally have to continue this!

]

This was so good. I hope it turns to more but if it doesn't then it's alright.

"yet instead of holding it against him, she was pressing against him."

loved that line.

gonna be honest though, i don't think this stands up as a oneshot. it feels too incomplete. maybe you will continue it some day.

-roguechere

WTF is going on? OMG I want to read more, what a cliff hanger.

Great story, you've got me hooked all ready )