Reviews for Am I already gone?
supernaturalsammy67 chapter 2 . 7/22/2009
awesome fic hun. despite you not liking to write in 1st person, it was an awesome fic

really great to delve i nto how Sam felt through those eppys :)
abni chapter 2 . 12/11/2008
What an absolutely wonderful fic. Brilliant description of what Sam must have been feeling (oh, and I'm right there with you on this season, with the way Sam's been treated. I mean - hello, the guy's a believer, and the angels don't ever consider just TALKING to him instead of threatening, almost ignoring him... Ok better not go there, otherwise I'll start rambling and ranting LOL).

Back to your story!

I love Sam's musings on being dust - that seems like such a Sam thing to do, contemplating things like that. And then following it with his perception of his situation, the fact that he saved the town, that no matter what he does, he's branded evil and he never had a chance to do anything about it.

And then the heartbreaking realisation that Dean may have changed his perception of him too, that he sees him teh same way the angels do - and Sam's "what am I supposed to do?" - brilliantly mirroring Dean's screaming the same in All Hell Breaks Loose II.

And then you end it with that punch to the stomach, Sam contemplating how he doesn't feel anything at all, how no matter what he does, he's just... detached... somehow. And wow, that final line, wondering if what he fears has already happened (in essence, wondering if everyone else is right and he himself is wrong - which is such a human thing to do - starting to doubt what you yourself think and start listening to what all the others say).

Uh, sorry, I know this probably isn't that coherent - I hope it makes sense anyway!

Thank you so much for writing this - this deep, insightful look into Sam's mind has been sorely missing this season. Also, I love your writing style, it's flowing so effortlessly, and you express Sam's voice perfectly, bringing forth his pain, his depression, his despair, his sense of betrayal, his confusion - all the things he's bound to have inside him what with everything that's happened.

Can't wait to read more from you!

Huge hug,

Michelle Knight 1188 chapter 1 . 11/6/2008
I completely agree with everything said in this chapter, you've really nailed all the major points on the head. I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with this season because i sympathize with SAM and not so much Dean. Sure, Dean went to Hell, but he chose to. He's messed up, but he asked for it. As you pointed out, Sam had all this crap dumped on him since birth, and this season seems determined to make his life even more depressing by taking away even Dean's support-first the punches, and then "If i didn't know you I would hunt you." I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by those words, so Sam had to feel a billion times worse. It's just soo frustrating... I wish Dean would pay attention and realize that Sam's not evil, he's just trying to get by with what little he's been delt. Of course, if everyone keeps slamming Sam's spirit down into the dirt for trying to do good, hey, evil might be an attractive alternative. :(

Anyhow, amazingly thoughtful fic. Great job with this. :)
Dollar Short chapter 2 . 11/5/2008
Really nice, an thoughtful, intelligent look inside Sam's head. You've neatly pinpointed all the things that make the idea of Sam being or becoming evil seem so unlikely. Good read.
Eternal Ending chapter 2 . 11/5/2008
this really does get me thinking. i can't wait for tommarrow night's episode.
Eternal Ending chapter 1 . 11/5/2008
definately a depressing notion. you know, i've been thinking and is it just me or is this season so far filled with like a million depressing things?