|Reviews for Act II: Nightmare! ?|
| Tsutomu Teruko chapter 7 . 1/18/2009
First of all, I'm so sorry I didn't get around to reviewing this when it first came out; it has nothing to do with the story being bad or anything, I was just incredibly busy and didn't start reading it until today.
Anyway, this chapter was very exciting! Lots of information given The scenes at the beginning, with Windia picking off the Negi Team, worked very well (though I wonder if they might have been more suspenseful if we didn't know who it was who was making the attacks?). Her showdowns with Rokugou were good, too- especially the one at the very end, with "he should kidnap me himself!" Aww, Rokugou!
The fight of Windia vs Setsuna (with some intervention on the part of Connor) was a very cool concept; two similar characters confronting each other! Very flashy, very evocative. The transition into Windia's breakdown was a little quick, but came out cleanly in the end. Asuna and Akira vs Were-Sonic was pretty cool as well It was nice to see Sonic again. Combining him with Windia at the end was a neat move; and her line about them "working for the same person" ignited my curiosity a lot.
I'm glad that a lead on Becky has come out, now. Do your best, Negi Springfield!
And poor Alien Commander. I laughed at the non-omake scene, poor thing.
| donkeykong75m chapter 7 . 1/18/2009
Damn it took me a while to get to this but I am nothing short of impressed the way your able to take manga characters and concepts and fit them into a Negima! storyline.
I love Rakans maid awsomeness and that whole fight with Setsuna and Windia
and unlike a lot of people I am one of the very few that Like the werehog Sonic unleashed is a really awsome game
| donkeykong75m chapter 6 . 1/10/2009
Man I finnally got around to this and what I have to say is Still very funny and well done you even brought back Sonic in his werehog form
also what I thought was funny is akira and her bizzare obbsession with water that and the fact that Asuna needed a place to Angst for about five minutes
hope the next chapter is action packed
| Eternal Longing chapter 6 . 1/1/2009
Best part of this whole chapter? Omake. Too bad Howell's wish didn't get granted. Life would be a whole lot different... Sonic's aversion to being called a chupacabra was also funny, but it can't compare to Ichijou's antics. I wonder how the alien captain feels about her partnership to Howell.
Oh, right. Setsuna's aversion to being dressed prettily was also major win. Asuna's angst was also majorly humorous.
Overall however, it didn't seem like all that much happened. The student mage council meeting kind of dragged, and I can't see Rei actually being mad in that situation. Connor and Albireo's characters seem slightly off (the first not whining enough and the latter too pleasant without obviously scheming).
An all right chapter, but not as good as the previous one. There was a major gem in the first scene though: "Simply known as Media, the young maid had a perpetual smile, though unlike Al it was one hundred percent genuine at all times instead of ninety percent at half the time."
Looking forward to the next action packed chapter.
| Eternal Longing chapter 5 . 12/30/2008
The Black Rose Baron. The twins' new pactio abilities. The box shaped watcher. And Rokugou's mother!
You are truly despicable, in a good, complimentary way.
I also have a newfound respect with your characterization skills, especially with 1-C. I hadn't noticed before, but their characters have really been refined until they are, drumroll please, completely canon!
Konoka, on the other hand, is scaring me. She's reminding me too much of her "evil twin." You know who I mean.
A chapter with references galore, and the almighty Classy Songs with Black Rose Baron. As Rokugou would put it, "Chapter of the Year."
| Eternal Longing chapter 4 . 12/30/2008
I like the pacing of this chapter. Maybe I was wrong about the last chapter. Maybe that one wasn't rushed, but slow. This is more to my licking. Epic pace! Fight-o!
In all seriousness, does this mean that Nodoka is Moe of the Year? I wouldn't be surprised if she left with some scars in this battle. Makie also shone in this chapter, and she sure was brave. If there was a Best Use of Characters award, I'd nominate you, Ansem.
As to Cygnus, I think Dark Hero fits him more aptly than Dark Lord. Of course, he isn't quite either, but he's definitely not quite Dark Lord yet, much less Dark Overlord. Poor Cygnus. His nefariousness is failing.
So, next up, mage council?
A few final notes: If you want to know what I want from Nightmare, this is a good chapter to reference (At least, so far.) I'm sure, since I've heard some things, that there will be lots of laughs in the future. But for now, this is cool: panic, lots of references, darkness, "character arcs," and Cygnus Windia duo.
So, with a cry of "More Windia!" I move on.
| Eternal Longing chapter 3 . 12/30/2008
Compared to the past few chapters, this chapter felt a bit lacking. It was still entertaining and interesting to read, but something felt missing. Here are some things I noticed:
1) I don't really remember Yankee, but for an eccentric guy like him - at least, I think he's eccentric - he seemed oddly... generic. His lines during the battle don't seem to fit his character or his name.
2) [“Mine is, and I can't reach him,” Asuna muttered. She turned to the rest of the group. “Are you guys all right?”
“I'm good,” Nodoka smiled.
“Same here,” Akira said, her expression calm as usual.
“I'm just fine, ojou-sama,” Setsuna said as per usual, to which Konoka replied, “Call me Kono-chan!”]
Wasn't Asuna the one who asked the question? Why'd Setsuna say "Ojou-sama," then?
3) If I remember correctly, Jack is smaller than Connor. Or at least, I thought so. I do remember that the emphasis on Jack wasn't quite his manliness but his whimsicality. Of course, open to interpretation, but that's my personal opinion.
Ah, maybe what I felt lacking was the overall dramatics that usually runs rampant all over the chapter. The chapter also felt a little rushed. It felt like everything just brushed by, flitting from one place to another without really being grounded anywhere. Does that make sense?
Of course, there were things I liked. Akira's expressions for example, I really liked. I also liked the door opening parallelism. A good stylistic touch there.
Well, that's your review. Hope it helps. I can feel the potential in Divine Bloodlines, and I anticipate Cygnus's meddling with glee.
| Eternal Longing chapter 2 . 12/29/2008
[Haruna paled as Konoka mercilessly and figuratively stabbed her with the dagger of minus five importance.]
[“Back at home,” Negi answered sheepishly. “I left in a hurry. I'd rather not get them involved in what's going on, but knowing them, they'd strong-arm their way here. So I left them a guide... No clue on when they'll get here though.”
“Next episode.” Ichijou fiercely concluded from the opening of a random tree trunk.
“What.” Everyone stole the words right out of my mouth.
“They'll be here by next episode,” Ichijou insisted in that deadpan voice of hers.]
And I don't know why sliced bread is so awesome either. Because it's... sliced?
And I really liked this chapter, by the way. Feeling a bit... inspired.
| Eternal Longing chapter 1 . 12/29/2008
The Black Rose Baron appears again! So far he's been the Harbinger of bad news, (Or comedic relief, I can't decide), but will he have more lines next time?
And Windia, Windia! Looking forward to her role in things. And Aliens, Aliens (I mean the lackeys)! Poor guys, smacked around like so much dead weight - even though they do everything. Still, in the end, Cygnus is win. Drama King like always, but I can't quite see him in white...
The only qualm I have is that it didn't seem quite subtle enough, especially the part where Negi says his partners will come after him (though true). And I guess Cygnus isn't embarrassed to tell everyone that he's looking for Rokugou.
Ah well, details, details. A nice intermezzo. Soothing if you like a lot of setup, suspense, and darkness. Two chances to guess if I like it.
| Tsutomu Teruko chapter 6 . 12/22/2008
This chapter was very dynamic and full of different interests and information, but at the same time was quite fun to read. A lot of elements that would have been easy to trip over, such as Ichijou's intermittent seriousness, were very well-pulled-off. In particular, your skill at juggling plot and humor has become very good, in my opinion.
This best shows up, I think, in the scene with Asuna angsting about her powers. The goofiness of Asuna's character and the concern she is feeling are balanced very well, without becoming too silly and melodramatic or too strangely serious. It also opens up lots of questions about the plot and generates interest in where the story is going; so as a plot-related scene it is really very good.
A scene that didn't work quite as well is the scene immediately following it. The format that it was presented in was a little jarring and confusing, and I had to re-read it twice or so to understand what was going on. The two spliced scenes themselves were fine, but the splicing was rather baffling. I feel that a simple "said Rei" or "said Asuna" in the dialogue-only scene might have cleared up the fact that there were two scenes running at the same time and made the reading smoother.
Humor in this chapter was very nicely done; little touches like "the darkness of the year" and "an original character couldn't have gotten away with this" managed to be very funny without detracting attention from the scene; the first example was especially appropriate.
And reading that omake was incredibly surreal for me. Wow, stuff that I wrote a long time ago converted into prose...
Anyway, fantastic chapter. Your hard work really paid off, and now I am very excited to see what will happen next! Keep up the good work!
| Serac chapter 3 . 12/18/2008
-“Hey Kurumi, know where that damn fourth chaos emerald is?”- Damn you, fourth chaos emerald!
-A blast of flames shot at the boy, licking him for a bit of damage.- And now it feels like a video game! Not in a bad way, though. :P
-Miyako continued to scream bloody murder as Ichijou the Metroid continued to seep her energy. Nobody cared. How tragic.- Ha, I had completely forgotten about her. Nobody cares, haha...
Holy crap, Connor AND Jack! And Konoka and Setsuna! ...And MAID uniforms! That's golden, right there. I had absolutely no idea Jack would be up in here. I'm so happy!
-Wait a goddamn minute.- What an awesome fourth wall interjection-type thing.
And the captain goes down! And I just learned that Rokugou is actually Sayaka. Go figure. Slowly, the plot moves on and the potential keeps rising. Well done, man. Well done.
| Serac chapter 2 . 12/17/2008
“Blow up dolls!” Makie cheerily suggested. “We replace ourselves with blow up dolls!” “Go home,” Yue muttered. HA! That's great stuff, there.
Also, I am randomly listening to music and Seether started playing, and I instantly started thinking about Cygnus being all badass. I am predictable.
-“3-A does not work that way,” Haruna shot that notion down. “They are some paranoid motherf—” “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” The twins cried. “But I'm only talking about 3-A!” Haruna shrugged with a smug grin.- We can dig it, hahaha!
-Haruna paled as Konoka mercilessly and figuratively stabbed her with the dagger of minus five importance.- Haha, I laughed out loud at that. I don't think Yue and Nodoka would back down like that, but this IS Negima? and not Negima!, so maybe that's the difference. I spare you my criticism! You haven't actually warranted any, yet. Good job. :P
-Three random boys in the front were so impressed they held up rating cards bearing “10”, “9.5”, and “gr8.8”.- Classic.
-Unlike everyone else in the room, she wore a frilly maid outfit for reasons yet unknown.- Why the heck is there a maid in the classroom? And does no one notice her doing these sinister things like talking into a device! What the heck?
-“Next episode.” Ichijou fiercely concluded from the opening of a random tree trunk. “What.” Everyone stole the words right out of my mouth.- Solid stuff, haha...
Himeko needs to be less stoopid. But I love her. I honestly can't say too much about this chapter, as Peach Moon is out of my span of experience. So I'm pretty much going to assume you're doign a good job. I know it's enjoyable and humorous, and that's without me knowing the characters outside of the story. So well done, so far!
| Serac chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
Review as I read? Of course!
Haha, over nine thousand classes...
'Oh GOD NO'. Motsu, hahaha, I like how you introduced him, there. Please fail less :D...
'You're probably wondering why the bloody hell there's a spaceship hovering around and nobody even noticing it, but then again a lot of things revolving around Peach Moon never made sense.' I swear, it's like you're picking the questions out of my head. I love your sense of humor, man, it's probably been too long since I've said that.
“What?” The captain stood up. “This ship is teleportation proof! Unless... dammit! I knew that spray was cheap and bad news!” Haha, swindled. Good one.
Smallboss? It reminds me of Tsutomu calling The Fair One Smallfriend. And is Windia super new? I don't recall her ever showing up...Unless she was a new addition to Act I, which I admittedly skipped, hoping I'd be able to make it with what I'd gleaned from the first go through.
And now a girl gets raped/eated by the darkness! Chalk up one point for the shadows. A lot happened, and it's only the first chapter. Well done, in that aspect. Your voice for the story really matches up with the tone of Negima?, and least in my opinion. Now I'm only eighteen-billion chapters behind! I mean, four chapters behind!
| donkeykong75m chapter 5 . 12/12/2008
Ha thankyou for the awsome chapter
That was genuios the way you had Makie saying the soda cat was ther mother I couldn't stop laughing
and nice job fitting in Rakan and the magic canceler too
and I noticed your slight DBZ esque ending.
Looking foward to another chapter(Yes no redundant questions this time)
| Tsutomu Teruko chapter 5 . 12/11/2008
This chapter was very, very funny; moreso than the ones before it. The two scenes towards the middle- the Black Rose Baron's classy song scene and MOTHER!-had me giggling uncontrollably. Very good
I also thought that the more actiony and foreshadowy parts were good, too. I like your Rakan, and seeing him work in conjunction with Setsuna was very cool. Also, it seems that more and more of the manga plot is slipping in? How cool.
And woah, Ao Suzuki. Things are really going to start getting interesting...!
So, excellent job. Very witty, very funny, and with a mean ending. I am eagerly anticipating the next part